Popular Copypastas

It's SURPRISING that QT lives at your house. I don't know HOW you closed that deal cause you've never closed anything EVER. You're not a closer. You're a relief pitcher AT MAX. You're not a fucking clos- you don't got the ICE COLD VEINS like ME that I was BORN WITH to COMPETE. You're a 6th/7th inning PITCHER! You pitch those 1 2 innings FOR ME. So mango can come in and CLOSE THE DEAL. Cause I'M A CLOSER.

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?

wait, wait, wait.... hold your horses... uhm... YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!!?! O_O Not to be a freak, but.. just when I thought you couldn't get more attractive.. you started playing video games. Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman. If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.

I will upload it to here when I get home for anyone interested but I’ll tell you now to call it a “hardcore porn” is a fucking disgrace and an actual insult to the many ACTUAL hardcore actresses that get spat on and are almost brought to tears from the sheer fucking power. You literally get to see maybe 8-12% of her vagina, the main thing you see is literally her boyfriends cock filling the space and her sticking some fucking shrek dildo in her ass. It’s honestly a new fucking low tbh, yeah she gets fucked in the ass a bit, but she specifically positions herself so you cannot see anything except maybe a crumb of flaps and once again her boyfriends dick. I mean her boyfriends not even fucking hot he’s got some average ass cock and some dutty dad bod. Honestly i had been considering unsubbing if she fucked us over with this shit and I honestly think this classified as a bait. Who cares about her getting fucked if you literally don’t see the cum shot over her vagina? Yeah like I’m gonna beat it to this guys crusty ballsack and her tiny asshole I’ve seen many times already. Absolutely appalled at it, 12 mins or so of pure shit

the CANCEL CULTURE MOB got to Jerma, this is awful I am disgusted. Of all the people who deserve to be shat on, Jerma is the last person on that list. He ended his last stream abruptly in tears, he didn't even go to the subs list. I wasn't even looking at chat at that moment, so I was confused. I go on Twitter and I see a trending hashtag #Jerma985isOverParty, people generally being very mean to him, and why? Because apparently he compared Dr. Who to Rick & Morty. Wow. Congratulations, you bullied a 36-year-old young boy to tears, just because of a joke. Grow a thicker skin, snowflakes.

One rainy night my parents were out and as a horny 13 yr old I was horny as shit. Jokingly I searched “plants vs zombies rule 34. And what I found was fucking amazing it’s eye candy. I want the pea shooter to sit on my dick. Day by day searching the web for some plants verses zombies hentai. It got so bad that I broke up with my gf because I like pvs hentai more than her. My favorite is pea shooter her drawings are gold, her big juicy mommy milkers are drawn with quality.