[Copypasta] Just hit gold and I feel really dangerous IRL

twitchquotes: Last night I hit Gold rank in League of Legends, Summoner's Rift for the first time. Today, when I went on my walk to my standard retail job, idk I felt like I had this new edge to me that wasn't there before. I went from a triangle to a square pretty much. Have any other LoL overachievers ever felt this way before? It's like my rank is strapped to my waist and now whenever people are at risk of passing me on the sidewalk, they skirt over to the other side in a tizzy. At work, someone tried to shoplift some Almond Joy. When I caught him, I yelled "hey!" And he looked at me and scoffed, like, "whatever dude, don't be a hero." I put a hand on my hip and said "I'm not a hero, I'm a jungler." He dropped the candy bar and ran to his getaway vehicle. I recorded the plate and called the police.
twitch chat
January 2020

League of Legends

I used to be a real ad
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Jared 10 years later...

twitchquotes: Ten years later, after retiring from Dignitas, Jared quit league, settled down, and found a girl he loved. Everything was going great until one night, after an incredibly romantic dinner, she dropped to her knees and proposed to Jared. As she opened the small box in her hands, Jared gasped when he saw the stone: two diamonds. His future wife leaned up next to his ear, slipped the ring on his finger, and whispered, "Don't be a p ussy."
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

It was dinner time in the Cloud Nein Gamer house

twitchquotes: It was dinner time in the Cloud Nein Gaymer house. Zachary “Sneaky” Scuderi dishes up a steaming plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. William “Meteos” Hartman looks up from his plate with a gleam in his eye. “I got the meat right here for you baby.” Lubing up with Marinara Sauce, Meteos begins to pound his sausage into sneaky’s lightly buttered dinner roll. With a scream of delight Meat-eos releases his load calling an end to another successful team dinner.
twitch chat
July 2015
Sneaky

KappaPride

League of Legends

Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne?

twitchquotes: Tensei, I have been playing league competitive for many years now, but at the most recent event I drank too much with Meteos. I woke up the next day in his bed with my fingers smelling a bit rank. Do you think this will affect my late game Vayne(s)?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

League of Legends

Jared, one final ff

twitchquotes: The year is 2027, Jared has just returned from his third tour in North Korea. Each time he fired his rifle he whispered the same word, "/ff". He looks down to the 9mm in his belt and dreams of seeing imaqtpie and Dom one last time, one final "/ff'
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Original Lollipoppy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣄⣀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀ ⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⣠⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠁⠀⢀⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠺⠭⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡋⠁⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠹⠛⣻⠿⢿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠖⠀⠀⠈⠑⠤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠇⠀⢀⣄⡈⠐⠤⡀⠃⠀⠀⠴⡛⠍⠙⠂⠉⠻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣴⡶⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⣿⠀⠚⠁⣀⡈⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⠀⣠⣾⣿⢿⣫⣽⣶⣶⣮⠭⣛ ⣦⡄⠀⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⡇⠀⡔⠛⠛⠃⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠁⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⠿⢛⣻⣏⣴⣿ ⠻⢷⣤⣝⣿⣿⡇⢹⡇⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡇⠀⠘⢻⠛⠛⠿⡆⠘⣛⣻⣿⣷ ⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⣧⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡤⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀⠷⠾⠮⠳⠤⠘⡻⢾⣭⡉⢣ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⡁⡀⠲⣶⣶⣯⡻⣾⣷⣭⣥⣮⢻ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣷⣦⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠚⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠟⠉⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣶⣿⠿⢻⣯ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣿⠿⠇⠛⠋⣯⣧⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠚⠉⠉
July 2022

League of Legends

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