[Copypasta] Just hit gold and I feel really dangerous IRL

twitchquotes: Last night I hit Gold rank in League of Legends, Summoner's Rift for the first time. Today, when I went on my walk to my standard retail job, idk I felt like I had this new edge to me that wasn't there before. I went from a triangle to a square pretty much. Have any other LoL overachievers ever felt this way before? It's like my rank is strapped to my waist and now whenever people are at risk of passing me on the sidewalk, they skirt over to the other side in a tizzy. At work, someone tried to shoplift some Almond Joy. When I caught him, I yelled "hey!" And he looked at me and scoffed, like, "whatever dude, don't be a hero." I put a hand on my hip and said "I'm not a hero, I'm a jungler." He dropped the candy bar and ran to his getaway vehicle. I recorded the plate and called the police.
twitch chat
January 2020

League of Legends

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Doublelift isn't so great? Are you kidding me?

twitchquotes: Doublelift isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an ability and movement with Vayne? Doublelift puts the game on another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. Faker breaks records. Sneaky breaks records. Doublelift breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic. And his haircut.
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TL aka Laughingstock

twitchquotes: TL, aka "Total Laughingstock," is a team that plays for Riot Games' Minor League that is often ridiculed for its disappointing international performances. It is specifically known for fielding expensive lineups to be dumpstered by Native Eu Talent.
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The tragedy of Darth Pepega

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Pepega the Retarded? I thought not. It's not a story the High Elo players would tell you. It's a Silver legend. Darth Pepega was a Dark Lord of the Silver, so boosted and so retarded he could use his Flame to influence the outcome of the game... He had such a knowledge of the flame, he could even keep the ones who tried to carry him from winning. The dark side of the Mental is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught a rioter everything he knew, then the rioter banned him in his sleep. Ironic. He could grant the enemy team LP, but not himself.
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League of Legends

Doublelift: I don't make many mechanical mistakes

twitchquotes: I'm really confident that we'll be the way better bot lane. (Laughs) I see games where G2's bot lane is 100 CS down, losing tower, and getting killed 2 vs 2. I can't remember any games like that for us. CoreJJ and I don't make many mechanical mistakes and I think we play a lot cleaner in general. -- Doublelift 2019
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May 2019
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LCK AKA “literally can’t kill”

twitchquotes: LCK AKA “literally can’t kill” is the most boring major region internationally known for their low tempo boring gameplay, their premier caster LS aka “literally sleeping” and owning the record for the longest league game of all time.
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October 2020
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