[Copypasta] Mesothelioma ad script

If you or a loved one was diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

OURcraft?!?!?

Youtube? More like OURtube, am I right?๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I'll put a picture of Staling next to this, so the meme will be super-duper funny!! Get it? Get it? Cause communism, you know, its about making everything shared, right? So you see, this joke is so clever because instead of saying "you", I say OURS! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคข๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜œ Get it? Get it? Cuz ours is like its SHARED XD. Man, i'm soooo clever. You know what, it seems to me like I'm really good at these camunism jokes, so I'll try making more!! How about instead of minecraft we say OURcraft? ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚ Get it? Cause commanism!!! Oh, how about, whenever I see something that breaks or falls apart, I'll ask in a very clever and humorous way: "What is this, the USSR?" Get it? Its cause the USSSSSSR also fell apart!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ Or maybe I'll call anything that has the colour red in it COMMUNIST!! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคข๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ Cuz you know, the USssSSSSR's flag is ALSO RED!!!!
December 2020

Emoji Pasta

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer. While my formal education is a bit lacking, my cad and computer animation skills are really good, and I have some truly paradigm shifting ideas for bait stations, both vr and non vr. currently in the beginning stages of seeking VC funds, really trying to move my operation from San Antonio to Austin, a second location could triple my revenue right now. Obviously right now all our orders are high end custom stations, way out of reach for the avg wsb user. Its my dream to one day be able to produce real bait stations in a production environment. Right now my company is in talks with several engineering firms out of Seoul to take our cum recycling system and some how use the energy from the spent cum to recharge the batteries. While the technology is new. It has huge applications. Imagine when you go to charge your tsla, its powered completely by cum. No longer must we let our nonbiological female prostitutes flush our GOLD down the toilet post coitus, that shit is going to drive our new society. The money we save as a society on sock costs alone is tremendous.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

IS EARTH PREPARED FOR THE LANDING OF THE MOTHERSHIP?

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ‘ฝ HELLO? SINATRAA (SPECIMEN #3457) ๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ‘ฝHOW IS YOUR MISSION GOING? ๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ‘ฝ IS EARTH PREPARED FOR THE LANDING OF THE MOTHERSHIP? ๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ‘ฝ
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Roblox has taken over my sons life

Roblox has taken over my sons life, I need someone here to help me, it started off pretty small, he told me he was into this game called Roblox. I looked it over, seemed nice. That was 5 years ago, now my son has locked himself inside his room, using a pile of roblox toy plastic to guard me from opening it. When he comes out (The 1 time he does a week) he carries 5 bottles of empty soda pop filled with human waste and empty bags of food and throws them away. He will not speak to me, and will not leave the house, only will play Roblox. I've tried it all, but he seems to find a way to play roblox. I tired killing the WiFi but he payed someone in robux to let him have his, so he has his own wifi source, and trying to take away his PC causes him to go into a fit of terror, where he'll scream "ROBLOX ESCAPE THE BOSSBABY RAINBOW OBBY FIGDET SPINNER" until he gets it back please someone tell me how I stop this. I've tried doing a thing I call "Good Robloxian Robux" where I give him Robux when he does good things, like come out of his room, or doesn't use more then 20+ hours of wifi a day but it only works so much please someone tell me how I can get my son back, I miss that boy, he's 25 now, and needs a job
March 2021

Salty tofu

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing