[Copypasta] Mesothelioma ad script

If you or a loved one was diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA
March 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
January 2024

Reddit

I want to give you head

twitchquotes: I want to give you head. Yes, head. Not the one you're thinking of. Not even in a sexual way. I want to give you heads up about the walk for charity. Yes, a walk for charity through which we can touch the lives of children living in extreme poverty.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

Yoshi

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–“β–„ β–„β–€β–€β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€ β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘
November 2014

Feed in every game

twitchquotes: As Michael "imaqtpie" Santana sat shivering on the cold pavement, Lisha, who happened to be passing by, decided to share a loaf of bread with him. He wanted to share her kindness, and so he decided to feed in every game henceforth.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing