[Copypasta] When you clean your vacuum cleaner

twitchquotes: When you clean your vacuum cleaner, aren't you the vacuum cleaner? :thinking:
twitch chat
July 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney. Kiyoon can be heard screaming "its a third??” after losing the last hand. Only Raydiz and K3soju are left. Mort deals their cards. Soju smirks and says “alright, bet”. Ray, feeling confident, slides all his chips into the middle of the table “fuck it, we’re all in this round”. Soju confidently throws down his cards “3 aces, KEWK”. Ray laughs and reveals his winning hand “I have a straight flush, diamond 1 to diamond 5”
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch Twitch gives 100 bits for coronavirus awareness Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands ————————————————————————
twitch chat
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Thanks to HTC™ I am able to watch this stream on the go

twitchquotes: Thanks to HTC™ I am able to watch this stream on the go. You can even use it to purchase g2a™ swag online. I never go anywhere without my HTC™. Lifetime Uh Oh™ warranty included.
twitch chat
May 2015
WildTurtle

sellout

Ahoy Kripp, ya landlubber

twitchquotes: ୧༼ °͠_▀̿ ༽? Ahoy Kripp, ya landlubber. We request a swashbuckling pirate deck, else ye be walkin the plank. ୧༼ °͠_▀̿ ༽?
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ riot ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

Text-to-Speech Playing