I used to be a real ad
Sort by:

The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed, the countless years of veganism finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Rania "K"
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings

twitchquotes: Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings after this game, there seems to be an issue with the stream. The colors of the video fade and entire screen goes gray every 30 or so seconds
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I used to be a real ad

Missed lethal does not exist

twitchquotes: Missed lethal does not exist. It is all a well planned and intelligent BM. Now, BM is a very fragile subject. Some say it is bad, some say it is good. But only the best of the best BM kings know the truth. Putting your opponent on 1 health and ending turn is NOT missed lethal. Not using Grommash on explosive trap for lethal is NOT missed lethal. It is pure outplay and master-level BM. So, next time you spam 'MISSED LEGAL' in chat like retards, think again. Watch and learn kids, do as the masters.
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

LACKS CRITICAL INFORMATION

twitchquotes: PepeLaugh HE LACKS CRITICAL INFORMATION
twitch chat
July 2019

Stop the Rick and Morty copypastas

twitchquotes: Just shut the fuck up. This copypasta was never even funny to begin with. I've never even seen the show, and it was obviously a joke. What kind of idiot do you have to be to think that was ever said seriously? But it makes fun of something which is popular, and therefore popular to shit on among the contrarians on Reddit. Come on, really. I actually do have to wonder about the IQs of people who like that pretentious copypasta. You know, I sometimes can't help but superiorly smirk as I imagine their dumb faces struggling to understand words on a mere internet webpage. In fact, I sometimes find myself in paroxysms of ironic Schadenfreude as I envision the visages of the aforementioned Slow-in-the-minds waging war with the Cultural Artifact they proclaim to be analyzing, only to fall, slack-jawed, back into their insensate stupor, the proverbial Undiscovered Country, "from whose bourn no traveler returns" .
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

I used to be a real ad

Hello my beautiful goddess Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello my beautiful goddess Kripp. I saw your stream and figured I'd try writing you. You are astoundingly beautiful to me. It would be a pleasure and a privilege getting to know you. I'd love to find out if you are as beautiful inside as you are out. Hope to hear from you soon, sincerely *nazi mod*, your friendly neighborhood white knight.
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

MODS

My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

It's pride month,Coming out as impostersexual.

It's pride month and I a 14 year old white girl have decided that I'm sexually attracted to among us,I cannot hold my feelings for the sussy imposter anymore. SUS SUS SUS,there I came,and it was there that I knew,it was the second cuming of Jesus Christ.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

New agent idea: Hog rider

New agent idea: Hog rider As maney of you know, over the past few years of playeing this game almost everyone wants riot to add hog rider into valrant. I know the devlapers dont wana add Hog rider into valrant becuse hes got a Hammer and likes rideing on pigs which is OP IN reaal life. However, i Spent a lot of my time the past few minute to think of a way to make him Not op in valrant like Rana(Which hackers like to use). Here is my idea: Hog rider design: https://preview.redd.it/oemu1mzky2g61.jpg?width=1143&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d580b7c34983f32f178f65b9a86310db6bfde9cc This is what hog rider would look like in valrant Abilitys: C (cost 238$ dolars) - Jumpeing ability. When you press this abilty, You can jump Q(cost 192.82$ dollrars) - Hammer abilty. Press this abilty and you turn your Gun into a hamer. The hammer is like the knife except when You swinging the hamer at someone it looks Dangareous. E (main abilitey. recharge every few Minutes)- Battle cry. When you press the E buton, your Micraphone is broadcast on the whole map so evrayone can hear you talkeing. Then your alowed to make batle cry noise like clash clans hog rider. X (ultra abilty cost 4 ulltra orb)s - When you press ultra abilaity, all of Your team gets to ride hogs. This is good because The hog your rideing on gets friends and your team mates get hog rider. For example: Cifer and Brimestone can be rideing hogs when hog rider use the ultra Pasive abilty: hog
February 2021

Valorant

Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team

twitchquotes: Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much Fusion invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but Fusion will soon learn.
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I used to be a real ad

You see, I have a very high IQ

twitchquotes: You see, I have a very high IQ. Do you want to know why? Well, I'll tell you anyways, I have a high IQ because I watch this amazing television show (which to my surprise piqued my interest unlike many other television shows) Rick and Morty. This show is remarkably intellectual (Like me, mind you) and not like any other animated shows. My most favorite joke from the show is "WUBALUBADUBDUB" it makes me giddy inside and knowing the common folk wont understand the joke makes me laugh even harder!
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

The ultimate tool to win any argument you're in, works even if you're losing

That's a nice argument you have, but unfortunately, I had sexual intercourse with your mother, therefore rendering any point you make null.
May 2021

NA LOST TO CORONA

twitchquotes: NA LOST TO CORONA LUL NA LOST TO POLICE BRUTALITY LUL NA LCS IS SO BAD LUL NA PRODUCTION IS THE WORST LUL NA USING TEETH TO DEFEND THEMSELVES LUL
twitch chat
July 2020

EU vs NA

LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica

twitchquotes: LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica, having been lost at sea due to his lack of geographical knowledge as well as his lack of map awareness and ending up in the region known for their excellent ARAM skills and elderly pro players. He is specifically known for his knowledge about "freezing" and one-tricking Volibear in level 25 draft pick. He states: "I had to shove the wave and ended up in NA. If we hadn't anchored I wouldn't be hardstuck in the fucking atlantic sea" and "No, my pathing wasn't bad, if the captain had listened to me we could've denied 3 waves". He can be found sailing the bottom of solo-queue just like he almost sailed the bottom of the sea.
twitch chat
September 2020
imls

League of Legends

Alien through telescope

twitchquotes: AlienPls ⠀ ゚⠀*⠀ 。⠀ ⠀゚⠀。 ⠀ ⠀⠀ ☆⠀ ⠀★⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ・゚⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ 。・⠀⠀⠀゚⠀⠀。⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ ⠀ ・・⠀⠀ ⠀ ∴⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ゚⠀ ⠀ ⠀ *⠀゚⠀⠀⠀★⠀⠀⠀ 。・⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I CANT BELIEVE MY EYES 🔭 OMEGALUL 󠀀 󠀀
twitch chat
October 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

Don't use my NFT without consent

I live walking distance from my local police department. If another person uses my NFT without my consent I will report them immediately. This is MY PROPERTY. The transaction has be verified scientifically on the block chain. Anyone who violates my NFT rights will pay the price Buddy, you have no idea who you are messing with. I have made a ridiculous amount of money in crypto/NFTs and I have the best lawyers. If you don’t remove my NFT as your profile picture you’re going to regret it. When you steal someone’s property you get punished. Watch out.
November 2021

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

Can I mod your chat?

twitchquotes: Can I mod your chat? I graduated top of my class in the US Navy kappa’s, I’ve been involved in numerous raids on Kripparrian’s chat with over 300 confirmed bans. I’m trained in copy pasta warfare and I’m the top mod on Twitch.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

MODS

PowerUpL DarkMode PowerUpR

twitchquotes: PowerUpL DarkMode PowerUpR
twitch chat
September 2017

Having a daughter is the ULTIMATE SIMP

As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL SIMP. Think about it logically.
August 2021

Simps

I used to be a real ad

who is pokimane?

twitchquotes: who is pokimane? 🙄🤭🤔🤫😰 in math: my solution ➗😊 in history: my queen 👑😣 in art: my canvas 🎨🥳 in science: my oxygen 💨😝 in geography: my world 🌎🤯
twitch chat
February 2020
Pokimane
Text-to-Speech Playing