[Copypasta] Alien through telescope

twitchquotes: AlienPls ⠀ ゚⠀*⠀ 。⠀ ⠀゚⠀。 ⠀ ⠀⠀ ☆⠀ ⠀★⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ・゚⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ 。・⠀⠀⠀゚⠀⠀。⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ ⠀ ・・⠀⠀ ⠀ ∴⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ゚⠀ ⠀ ⠀ *⠀゚⠀⠀⠀★⠀⠀⠀ 。・⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I CANT BELIEVE MY EYES 🔭 OMEGALUL 󠀀 󠀀
twitch chat
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Unicorn

⢠⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⢦⡀⠀⢰⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⣎⠙⠲⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠈⣗⣄⡌⠘⣷⣀⣠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢄⣣⡖⣯⡷⣧⠀⢸⢿⣦⡀⠈⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣼⣯⣄⣿⣦⣸⢸⣏⠻⣤⣀⣈⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⠤⠴⠻⣯⠈⠋⠙⠃⠀⠈⣿⠻⣾⡿⠛⠁⠉⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠷⣤⡛⠛⢿⣿⡟⢹⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡙⢹⡏⠿⣆⣹⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠾⢷⡞⠁⣀⠙⢿⠂⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⢾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⣿⠀⢸⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⡞⠘⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡾⣷⣾⠇⠀ ⠀⢸⠈⠿⠀⠙⠲⣄⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠇⢀⣼⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⣘⠷⠊⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⠿⠖⠛⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣄⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021

No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

No, you’re NOT a real gamer. I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends. Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once. Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
June 2021

Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Please remove Leifman's mod status

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, it has come to my attention that one of your mods "Leifman" has been abusing his authority as mod and banning people for no good reason. I would appreciate if you took some time out of your schedule to take action and remove his mod status. Thank you!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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