[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
Cave Johnson rant in Portal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELkgiJD9KuM
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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We found this new site called CSGO Lotto

twitchquotes: We found this new site called CSGO Lotto—so I'll link it down in the description if you guys want to check it out. We were betting on it today and I won a pot of like $69 or something like that, so it was a pretty small pot, but it was like the coolest feeling ever. I ended up following them on Twitter and stuff, and they hit me up and they're talking to me about potentially doing like a skin sponsorship.
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August 2016
TmarTn

CSGO

Fortnite default dance 9

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⣶⣿⣿⠶ ⣶⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤ ⠀⠉⠶⣶⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣤⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠿⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⠀⠶⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠛⠛⠿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣉⠿⣿⠶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛⣭⣭⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣭⣤⣿⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣭ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⠿⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣶
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November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

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gachiGASM hands up

⠄⡄⡆⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡤⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⣠⠄ ⢱⣼⣿⠇⢀⠄⠄⠄⡰⠅⢀⣴⣾⡿⠿⢷⠝⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡝ ⠸⣿⣿⠗⠋⠄⠄⠠⠂⠄⣿⣿⡧⢒⣂⣼⣿⣄⡚⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠲⣿⣿⡯ ⠄⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣩⣤⣵⡠⡺⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠃ ⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⡘⣿⣿⣿⣧⠋⠖⠚⠂⢹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⠄ ⠄⣿⣷⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⣏⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡲⠾⢻⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⡟⠄ ⠄⢹⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢫⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠓⠓⡘⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⠁⠄ ⠄⠈⠿⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠹⠇⠄⠄⠄⠺⠿⠿⠏⠄⠄
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November 2018

KappaPride

I used to work at an abortion clinic

I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed: • ⁠A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight • ⁠A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor • ⁠They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name) • ⁠One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns • ⁠The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man • ⁠The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life" • ⁠The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos • ⁠The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy) • ⁠During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
August 2021

NSFW

YEP COCK is modern expression of bacchic spirit

twitchquotes: Those plebs simply dont get it, all those who oppose YEP COCK are nothing more than a band of simpletons. YEP COCK is modern expression of bacchic spirit. YEP COCKER entering a chat is like priest of Dionysus Enorches, wielding a thyris and bearing wreath of grapevine. As the elder priest leading cultists in state of bacchic haze to sacred Eleusis YEP COCKER announces the unbridled joy of YEP COCKERY by the simple sign of YEP COCK which lets everyone forget of their quotidian struggles.
twitch chat
June 2020
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