When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
What happened to this ad? :(
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Sneaky and Meteos fan fic
twitchquotes:
"zach, i can't do this anymore!" meteos cries from his side of the bed. sneaky's eyes widen in shock at the sudden outburst "w-what do you mean, will?" "i'm tired of being your side piece," he cries, "i want to be your one and only." the younger man's face flushes. "will," he starts. "i love you." he digs through the night stand and pulls out a ring. "will you marry me?" "yes!" meteos cries out with joy. he plants a kiss on his lover's cheek, full of tenderness. they are pure passion incarnate.
twitch chat
Sneaky
Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat
twitchquotes:
Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat. We've been with him for 2+ years and he doesn't have the guts to say it. Or maybe he doesn't even really care about us after all we've been through. If Kripp doesn't say "I love you" to us chat, then I think it's time we leave him until he realizes how important we are.. 
twitch chat
Kripp
My son ๐was SO cute today
twitchquotes:
My son ๐was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. ๐ฆ Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant
A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant.
3 years later,
NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
WallStreetBets
Steve from Big Juicy Vegetables
twitchquotes:
Hello, Mr. Veganarrian, it's Steve from Big Juicy Vegetables. We prepared your package containing: Extra Thicc 30cm Cucumber and Huge Fat Watermelon with hole. You can come to pick it up any time, and we recommend you to bring your slave Rania because package is heavy. Have a nice day and go green!
twitch chat
Kripp