When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth
twitchquotes:
High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
salty
Failed as a pepperino pizza
twitchquotes:
Mʏ ʙᴏʏ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴅɪᴅᴅʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴡʜʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜᴄᴋ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ?" ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ sᴀʏ ɪs, "Rɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀᴘᴘᴀғᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ɢᴏ, "ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ɴᴇᴡғᴀɴɢʟᴇᴅ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴘᴇᴀᴋ, ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ғᴀɪʟᴇᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ
twitch chat
Kripp
Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta!
Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! 😁
Bender
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forsenIQ
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣤⣤⣤⣀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠙⠛⠄⣾⡏⠉⠙⢿⣷⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣴⡇⢀⠄⠹⣷⣄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣆⠘⠿⠟⠁⠈⠄⠄⠁⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿
⠁⣠⡀⠁⠄⣿⡇⢺⣧⠄⡹⣿⣦⡀⢀⣿⣿⠄⢠⣴⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙
⠸⢿⣷⡀⠄⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⡟⠊⠛⠿⡿⡿⠋⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣤⡀⠹⣿⣦⢹⣿⣿⠛⢻⣷⣄⠄⣠⣤⡤⢖⣿⣯⣄⠙⢿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣷⡄⠙⢿⣷⣍⠁⢠⡀⠛⠉⡠⣿⣿⡿⣶⣌⡛⠛⠿⣦⣙⢿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⢻⣿⠖⠄⣿⣶⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠣⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡘⣇⣈⣿⣿⡟⣾⡟⠋⣛⡛⠿⠆⠄⢡⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣉⣉⣩⣾⠏⣰⣿⣿⠏⠑⡀⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⣀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢸⣿⣿⠿⠯⠘⡿⠿⠁⢐⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠇⠄⠄⣀⣶⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⠛⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣵⣽⡛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠈⢸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Forsen