[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Buddha

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠒⠒⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡯⠴⠶⠶⠒⠢⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⡤⠖⠂⡀⠒⡢⡌⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠯⢭⣵⠑⣯⡭⢹⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⠀⢠⣤⠄⠀⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⢄⣈⣟⢁⢴⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠒⡝⠁⠬⠛⣚⡩⠔⠉⢻⠒⣦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢎⠁⡌⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⡛⠀⡷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣷⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⢹⢰⠁⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠟⢿⢳⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⣶⣘⢞⡀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⢺⣯⢹⢰⡏⠒⠒⠒⠊⠀⠐⢒⣾⣹⣸⢹⣾⡇⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣏⣾⠃⠀⣼⡟⣢⣀⡠⠤⣀⡰⢋⡝⣱⣹⠇⣿⣧⣴⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⡞⡆⢠⡇⣟⠭⡒⠭⠭⠤⠒⣡⠔⣽⡇⣂⣿⠟⠃⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⡇⡧⢫⠃⣷⣽⣒⣍⣉⣈⡩⢴⠾⡳⢡⢸⣛⣪⡗⢴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢃⠷⣸⣤⣯⢞⡥⢍⣐⣂⠨⠅⠊⡠⢃⣟⢏⠹⣎⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠶⠚⠛⠛⠽⢹⡟⡖⢓⠿⣝⠓⠒⠒⠒⠭⢤⠗⣯⣩⣽⣿⠷⣾⣿⢷⣆⠀ ⠜⣌⠢⢄⣀⡀⠀⡞⢡⠘⢄⠑⠨⢉⣀⠉⣀⠄⢊⠜⡸⠛⣿⡍⠉⠉⠈⢁⠁⠇ ⠈⢯⡓⠦⠤⠬⠭⣵⠀⠱⢄⠑⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠒⢁⡔⠁⢠⣏⣡⣤⣤⡶⠜⣻⠃ ⠀⠈⠙⠛⠒⠛⠻⠯⠕⠤⣀⣉⣓⣒⣂⣒⣒⣊⣁⣠⠔⠛⠂⠒⠛⠓⠛⠚⠉⠀
January 2021

My e-girl e-cheated on me

twitchquotes: My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
twitch chat
March 2019

Wikipedia donation request

To all our readers in the U.S., Please don't scroll past this. This Friday we humbly ask you to defend Wikipedia's future. 98% of our readers don't give; they simply look the other way. If you are an exceptional reader who has already donated, we sincerely thank you. If you donate just $2.75 today, Wikipedia could keep thriving in the long term. We ask you, humbly: please don’t scroll away. If Wikipedia has given you $2.75 worth of knowledge, take a minute to donate to the Wikimedia Endowment. Show the world that access to reliable, neutral information matters to you. Thank you.
January 2022

Boobs

March 2021

NSFW

My Kripprecious

twitchquotes: They cursed us. Casual they called us. They cursed us, and drove us away. And we wept, Precious, we wept to be so alone. And we forgot the taste of ARPGs...the sound of grinderino...the softness of our gaming chair. We even forgot our own name. My Kripprecious.
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing