[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
Cave Johnson rant in Portal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELkgiJD9KuM
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

This message has been blocked by your ISP

twitchquotes: ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ค๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฃ๐˜บ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜๐˜š๐˜—
twitch chat
July 2017

Buff bunny (my gf telling the waitress my food is wrong)

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €(\__/)โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €(โ€ขใ……โ€ข)โ €โ €my gf telling the waitress โ €๏ผฟใƒŽโ €ใƒฝโ €ใƒŽโ €๏ผผ๏ผฟโ €โ €my food is wrong /โ €๏ธโ €Yโ €โŒ’๏ผนโŒ’โ €๏ผนโ €๏ธโ €๏ธใƒฝ (โ €๏ธโ €๏ธโ €๏ธ(ไธ‰ใƒฝไบบโ €โ €/โ €โ €โ €| |โ €๏ธโ €๏ธโ €๏ธ๏พ‰โ €ยฏยฏ\โ €๏ฟฃ๏ฟฃใƒฝใƒŽ ใƒฝ๏ผฟ๏ผฟ๏ผฟโ €โ €๏ผž๏ฝค๏ผฟ_๏ผ โ €โ €โ €๏ฝœโ €(โ €็Ž‹โ €)ใ€ˆโ €โ € (\__/) โ €โ €โ €/โ €โ €๏พ`โ€”โ€”ๅฝกโ €\ (โ€ขใ……โ€ข) me
ascii art
March 2021

zachary is no more. there is only cock

twitchquotes: sneaky's eyelids flutter open. on one side of his bed, his beloved, lynn. on the other side, his lover, meteos. he slowly awakens to his surroundings. "...cocks," he mutters as he walks to the bathroom. "cocks," he slurs as he brushes his teeth. "cocks," he says while in the shower, hands washing all over his body. "cocks," he says as he burns his food and decides to order postmates. sneaky's life is consumed by cocks. zachary is no more. there is only cock.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

Derpo Spamu-desu

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Derpo Spamu-desu, I am the last spamurai ........... if you wanna be part of this ancient japanese tradition spam your ascii and troll texts all over twitch. May the spam be with you! โ–ฌโ–ฌฮนโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•๏บค
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

Megaman's head

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing