[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Pride month is over.

Pride month is over. pride month is over. All gay people instantly begin to spontaneously combust, trans people begin to morph into various citrus fruits and are sold as novelty items from a different time. Bisexual people are instantly split in half by the invisible blade of corporate disinterest and the non-bianries are legally banned from using the number 0 in any scenario. The pride flags and corporate twitter profile pictures are instantly detonated to make room for more advertisements, posters promoting diversity and inclusivity are ripped down and destroyed by once-inclusive teachers all across the country. and the price of lube decreases by an average of 76% worldwide. Pride month is over. Greed month is upon us. May all who savoured their taste of freedom, cower in the face of pure capitalism, and use the link https://nordvpn.com/superthrash767 when signing up to nord vpn...
July 2022

Positive streamers only

twitchquotes: Hi Mewnfare, it's Cliff, from Blizzard. Heard you were having some issues with matchmaking in our game. Our records show you aren't on our Streamer Prime servers, due to the notes 'Salt mine Overlord' and 'Hots Suggardaddy' Flagged on your account. I regret to inform you only positive streamers can play with a proper matchmaking today. Feel free to submit an appeal to our support team.
twitch chat
November 2020
mewnfare

Ninja's wife and xqc's twitter feud

twitchquotes: Of course ๐Ÿค— I was going to answer๐Ÿ‘ฎโ€โ™‚๏ธ sweetie , ๐Ÿฅฐ I was eating breakfast๐Ÿง‡, fueling up for a productive day ๐Ÿ’… Not very relatable ๐Ÿคจ I know! ๐Ÿ˜ผ You should teach me a thing ๐Ÿ˜— or 2โœŒ about fundraisers ๐Ÿ—ฃ๐Ÿ’ต i'm sure you know a thing or two โœŒ about raising funds. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคช I mean, these gucci ๐Ÿ bags don't pay for themselves. ๐Ÿ™Œ ๐Ÿฆ
twitch chat
July 2020
xQcOW

this game is actually one of the best I've seen

twitchquotes: (Sponsored Viewer) โœ… : Okay guys enough with the BS this game is actually one of the best I've seen in quite a while. I understand kripp may be "selling out" but that doesn't mean he isn't enjoying the game. After playing for a couple of minutes I got hooked, line and sinker. I suggest you fellow chat dwellers do the same. So much Fun! (5$ has been transferred to your PayPal account.)
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

sellout

Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE

twitchquotes: Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ CONGA LINE ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ CONGA LINE ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ CONGA LINE ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ CONGA LINE ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing