[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
Cave Johnson rant in Portal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELkgiJD9KuM
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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twitchquotes: εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε£«ε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε£«ε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε£«ε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε£«ε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε£«ε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε£«ε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε£«ε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε£«ε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε£«ε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε£«ε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εΉΏεžε»Ώε£«εδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦
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Kripp

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my ΓΌbernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
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Obama

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’ β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–’β–Œβ–’ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–„β–ˆβ–„β–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–Œβ–’ β–‘β–β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–“β–“β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–’β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ– β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–„β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆ
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April 2021

Hello Moonman or whatever your name is

twitchquotes: Hello Moonman or whatever your name is, I just wanted to tell you to please stop ruining my chat experience with these "smugs" and "smegs" and what not. Honestly, I find them absolutely infuriating to see in every chatroom I stumble upon. Fuck that dumb purple lady.
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MOONMOON

This is the shittiest reply ever Overwatch version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Overwatch requires camping, booping, stunning, sleeping, hacking, slamming, aimbotting and hitting shots. There are not β€œpositions” in Overwatch. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
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