When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
100% chance to have less FREEDOM AND LIBERTY
twitchquotes:
(ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง) I AM EUROFAG. I have a 100% chance to have less FREEDOM AND LIBERTY than a citizen of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง)
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Kripp
EU vs NA
It was dinner time at the Apex GAYmer house
twitchquotes:
It was dinner time at the Apex GAYmer house. Moonmoon dishes up a steamy plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. Lassiz looks up from his plate, the gleam in his eye. "I got the meat right here for you baby" lubing up with marinara sauce Lassiz begins to pound his sausage into moonmoons tight lightly buttered dinner roll. The scream of delight, Lassiz releases his load, calling an end to yet another successful team dinner.
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MOONMOON
KappaPride
Kripp will never, ever click the button
twitchquotes:
Kripp will never, ever click the button. The expansions will release at a faster rate than he can collect dust. Much like the contents of the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, the button is merely a carrot Kripp dangles in front of his viewers without any intention of actually delivering. This is blatantly obvious - he even admits he doesn't bother to calculate because he knows he'll never click it. We will spam this pasta until the button has been clicked.
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Kripp
Hearthstone
Pecan ice and pecan butter
twitchquotes:
do yall remember those two little white boy in super smash bros brawl who would scream pecan ice and pecan butter or whatever it was they were yelling? I hated them so much they used to get me in so much trouble when I would stay up late and play nintendo because no matter how low the volume on the damn tv was my mom would hear their shill *** voices going PECAN ICE PECAN BUTTER from all the way down the hall in her room and tell me to go to bed I will never forgive them
twitch chat
Super Smash Bros
If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.
This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself.
There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself.
If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.