When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
I used to be a real ad
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My name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team
twitchquotes:
Good Evening, my name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team, and from analyzing your browser history we are here to inform you that your Windows XP Operating system is not valid. Your OS will be locked in 15 minutes until you have paid for the Microsoft product. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to call us!
twitch chat
Forsen
Goodbye vegetable man. Goodbye.
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, i am the manager of the supermarket where you buy packages of vegetables everyday. After you leave every morning we are left with no vegetables. People are started to complain about you and asked me to ban you from coming to this supermarket. They threatened me if i don't ban you they won't come here anymore. I am so sorry that i have to do this. Goodbye vegetable man. Goodbye.
twitch chat
Kripp
This is shit
twitchquotes:
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twitch chat
Kripp
Sleeping in bed with your parents
twitchquotes:
Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as McCree
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as McCree. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of walking slowly on the battlefield announcing it's mid day. People say that being a McCree is Impossible but I donβt care, Iβm beautiful. Iβm having a plastic surgeon install a cowboyhat, revolver and High Noon memes on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Jesse McCree" and respect my right to announce it's mid day. If you canβt accept me youβre a HighNoonaphope and need to check your gunslinger privileges.
twitch chat