[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

THIS IS PETA DONT MOVE LISTEN UP

twitchquotes: THIS IS PETA DONT FUCKIN MOVE LISTEN UP I KNOW YOU'VE KILLED TWO DOGS YOU TERRORIST PEPPERONI SCUM. PUT YOUR DONGER WHERE I CAN SEE IT ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½=/Μ΅/'ΜΏ'ΜΏ ΜΏ ΜΏ
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Riding the chat elevator

twitchquotes: ( ͑↑ ΝœΚ– ͑↑) Riding the chat elevator all the way to Kripp ( ͑↑ ΝœΚ– ͑↑)
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Gonna go against the grain here and say YTA

Gonna go against the grain here and say YTA. Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you? I simply can’t fucking believe that you would make such an idiotic decision. You’re a disgusting little crawly lobotomite and you deserve to perish in a dark deep abyss where you belong. I’ve gone ahead and removed one reddit upvote from your account by β€œdownvoting” this comment. I hope you rethink your actions in the future. Fuck you.
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

I want a man who is a cunning linguist

twitchquotes: "Are you sure you've ever pleasured a woman before, poppet?" Mother asked with a snear, unamused by the clumsy performance of a rapper who couldn't use his tongue. "I'm doing my best, yo!" he replied, muffled between Mother's thighs. "You talk a big game, Mr. Dab, but you are proving to be quite a disappointment." The tattoo-faced man lifted his head aghast, his voice raising in pitch, "I got you a limo, yo, what else do you want?" Mother chuckled, "I want a man who is a cunning linguist"
twitch chat
May 2019
MOONMOON

boatyVV

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β”€ β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β–„β”€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–—β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–›β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ──────▄▀────────▓─────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„ β”€β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–›β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€ ───▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀──────
September 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing