[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021

Think of the saltwater fish

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°) Hey Kripp, Marine Biologist Gilbin Pastarino here. I come to you on behald of all the salt water creatures of the world as your body seems to have absorbed 99% of the oceans salt. Please thinkerino of the poor fisheroni. Thanks
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Just seen Biden in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just seen Biden in a hotel and I asked how he was feeling about the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while whispering “count every vote” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Babe im breaking up with u

twitchquotes: babe, i'm breaking up with you. it's not you, you were poggers. it's me, i'm omegalul. im sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i've just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it's time to end it, no kappa.
twitch chat
March 2020

Classic

forsenSanta

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⡛⣉⣉⣉⣩⣭⢥⡶⢒⣶⠖⣒⡤⢤⣄⡈⣩ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⡿⠛⣩⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣭⠛⠩⠁⠘⣾⣿⣿⣦⡄⠄⠥⢶⣤⣄⠘⢻⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⡿⠟⢛⡉⠉⠙⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠄⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠘⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⠜⡛⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⡇⠄⠐⠧⣀⡀⠄⠲⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠔⠁⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣦⣄⡐⠄⢘⣭⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⣀⡀⣀⣀⣴⣮⣶⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣴⣶⡄⠈⡀⠘⣿⡿⣿⡯⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠲⢼⣿⣿⣛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠰⣿⣶⣦⣤⣥⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⢀⣀⣉⣋⣏⡑⠄⠙⣿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠃⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣭⣬ ⠁⠄⢀⣠⣤⣶⣬⣭⣟⣛⣛⠋⠿⠿⠿⠛⠯⠥⠦⠝⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⠴⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣥⣬⣭⣽⣶⣶⣯⣥⣴⣭⣭⣭⣭ ⠄⢠⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠸⢱⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Text-to-Speech Playing