[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
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More Copypastas

Kripp's chat is not raising enough dongers

twitchquotes: Dearest Kripparian, this is the Donger Police. We have inside information that states your chat has not been raising a sufficient amount of dongers. We are going to have to shut down your stream if you don't ask your chat to raise their dongers.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Spiderman Logo

β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–Œβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–€β–„β–Œβ–„β–β–„β–€β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€ β”€β–β–ˆβ”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ”€ β”€β”€β–€β–€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β”€β–€β–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€ β–β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€ β”€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β”€β”€
September 2021

my face when americans call chips "french fries"

>my face when americans call chips "french fries" >my face when americans call crisps "chips" >my face when americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars" >my face when americans call motorized rollinghams "cars" >my face when americans call merry fizzlebombs "fireworks" >my face when americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC" >my face when americans call meat water "gravy" >my face when americans call electro-rope "power cables" >my face when americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a "burger" >my face when americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers "pens" >my face when americans call twisting plankhandles "doorknobs" >my face when americans call breaddystack a "sandwich" >my face when americans call their hoighty toighty tippy typers "keyboards" >my face when americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings "peanut butter and jelly" >my face when americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator" >my face when americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a "sweater" >my face when americans call a rickedy-pop a "gear shift" >my face when americans call a choco chip bucky wicky as a "cookie" >my face when americans call a pip pip gollywock a "screwdriver" >my face when americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a "gun" >my face when americans call ceiling-bright a "Lightbulb" >my face when americans call blimpy bounce bounce a "ball" >my face when americans call a slippery dippery long mover a "snake" >my face when americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops "roads"
April 2021

British People

Don Han'Cho tells Kripp to disenchant his collection

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp its Don Han'Cho SMOrc SMOrc from da grimy goons. I got a job for yah. I know about a warehouse holding thousands of pounds of arcane dust. I got a tip that this place is called "collecteen manajaire" sounds french or somethin I don know. Anyways what I want you to do is da sneak in to dis place and look for a button called "deez ench ant". You whack dat and da goons will take care of da rest. You game?
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripparrian... this Bro Fist is for you

twitchquotes: As he raises his "Bro Fist" gently against his cam, I raise my donger against my cam. I feel how for that moment, Kripparrian and I become one. My donger starts to shake, and I close my eyes, letting out a small moan as our "Bro Fists" e-touches. "Kripparrian.. this Bro Fist is for you" I whisper to myself. Kreygasm
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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