[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle

twitchquotes: I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
twitch chat
April 2020

Hey chat this is your real rank

twitchquotes: 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 hey chat this is your real rank ⎝ LUL
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Type !sellout to receive your free brofist

twitchquotes: Kripparrian is giving away TWO BROFISTS during this week’s Hyper X giveaway! Type !sellout to receive your free brofist or some RAM or whatever. Remember to subscribe, follow and no copypasta focaccia lasagna
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

sellout

Troll face 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⡴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡴⠶⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠷⠶⢦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠐⠒⢒⡀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠒⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⢀⠀⢊⠥⢐⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢑⠠⢉⠂⢀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠶⠛⣉⣩⣽⣟⠳⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠛⣻⣿⣯⣉⣙⠳⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⠞⠋⠀⢁⣤⣤⣤⣌⡁⠀⠛⠛⠉⣉⡍⠙⠛⠶⣤⠿⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠻⠶⠞⠛⠉⠩⣍⡉⠉⠋⠀⣈⣤⡤⠤⢤⣄⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀ ⢰⡏⠀⠀⣴⠋⠀⢀⣆⠉⠛⠓⠒⠖⠚⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠒⠒⠛⠛⠉⣰⣆⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠘⡇ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⣧⢠⡴⣿⠉⠛⢶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠠⠤⠤⠄⣶⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣘⠛⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⠶⠛⠉⣿⠷⠤⣸⠃⠀⢀⡟ ⠈⢷⡀⠄⠘⠀⠀⠸⣷⣄⡀⠈⣿⠛⠻⠶⢤⣄⣀⡻⠆⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠐⣛⣀⣤⡴⠶⠛⠋⣿⠀⣀⣠⣾⠇⠀⠀⠋⠠⢁⡾⠃ ⠀⠀⠙⢶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⡙⠻⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠀⣿⠛⠛⠳⠶⠦⣴⠶⠶⠶⠛⠛⠋⢿⡀⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⠟⢉⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣤⣼⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣿⡀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⢿⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣦⡀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⢿⡀⠀⣀⣴⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⣀⠀⣀⠀⠀⡈⠛⠷⣾⣇⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣼⡷⠾⠋⢁⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⣦⣉⠒⠬⣑⠂⢄⡉⠙⠛⠛⠶⠶⠶⠾⠷⠶⠚⠛⠛⠛⠉⣁⠤⢐⡨⠤⢒⣩⡴⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣤⣉⠀⠂⠥⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠄⠀⠠⠌⠂⢈⣡⡴⠖⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡴⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠳⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠖⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

Sneakily squeak until light of dawn

twitchquotes: When I fart Kripp feel the fart. He hard press A and D and try to avoid the fart. But Kripp smell the fart. My viscosity meter is always highest when Kripp in the room. We sneakily squeak until light of dawn. All becoming well met.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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