[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

AITA for wanting to play Fortnite?

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?
March 2021

Fortnite

Am I The Asshole?

Don't download Discord

====鈿狅笍ATTENTION鈿狅笍 ==== If you see an app called Discord DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT. It will install a virus called Discord, and if you run it, it will launch Discord ====鈿狅笍ATTENTION鈿狅笍====
February 2021

Discord

Born to be a Twitch channel mod

twitchquotes: You can say that I was born to be a Twitch channel mod. I catch a glimpse of copypasta, the adrenaline starts pumping. A whiff of drama, I snap into duty. My streamer calls for a chat ban, I erase that motherfucker from the history books of this channel. There is no !command I won鈥檛 code, no timeout I won鈥檛 give, no Twitch laws I won鈥檛 overlook, and no order I won鈥檛 obey to make my streamer happy. And if you become his problem, well, I鈥檓 sorry to say that I鈥檒l become yours.
twitch chat
December 2019

MODS

Classic

Yuumi isn鈥檛 so great?

twitchquotes: Yuumi isn鈥檛 so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a champion with such skill expression and movement options in League? Yuumi puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a chamption with her skill and options in the game again. Riven breaks the game. Vladimir breaks the game. Yuumi breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
twitch chat
May 2019

League of Legends

Please stop the 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣 in your chat

twitchquotes: Hello KRIPP aka GRIPPARRIAN. Please stop the 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣 in your chat. I am from dubai and "銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣 " means "your aunt has a goat ***" in arabic. I am watching with family after my aunt's funeral and we all find this extremely offensive. Will subscribe so you can fist me like a bro when it stops. Please no dan marino gran torino
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing