When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
5Head
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠄⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⢿⣿
⣿⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⣿
⡟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄
⣇⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡇⢠
⣿⡀⠈⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⣀⠄⠄⣾
⣿⣧⢠⣖⣀⡀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣤⡶⢿⣿⡄⣼⣿
⣿⣿⣏⢿⣦⣬⣙⣒⡤⣌⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣚⣭⣴⣶⣿⡟⣼⣾⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣬⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡹⣯⣿⠿⠦⠬⣭⣭⣥⣼⠾⢿⣿⡿⠟⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡙⢷⣯⣭⣭⣭⣭⣽⣿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣝⠛⠛⠟⠛⢛⣡⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Tanner's life continues its downward spiral
twitchquotes:
After his shift at McDonald's, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, waiting for Kripp's stream to begin. As soon as Kripp's face appears, he begins one of his tirades, insulting and mocking Kripp, the happily-married, multi-millionaire video game streaming sensation. "That'll show him", Tanner mutters to himself, as his life continues its downward spiral.
twitch chat
Kripp
Tanner from High School
Seoul Dynasty is just winning because...
twitchquotes:
Seoul Dynasty is just winning because they go up against easy teams. It’s boosting their win ratio. They should go up against better teams to really show how good they are. I’m not calling them bad. I just want to clarify why they seem so good, even though they’re not.
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Liberty Mutual Auto Insurance
twitchquotes:
🚶You owned a car 🚗🚗 for 4⏰📅 years⏰👍. You🚶 named it👱 Brad👱. You💑❤💗 loved💕Brad💕😙. And then you🚶⚠ totaled⚠🚧🚗🚙 him🚦. You two 💏💑had been through everything 👬together🎭. 👬2 boyfriends👬, 🔨🔧3 jobs🔫,❌ nothing ❌could replace👱 Brad🍆🍆. Then Liberty Mutual📞📞📞 calls, and you break into your 😊happy😊 💃dance💃💃🍆.
twitch chat
Own a musket for home defense
twitchquotes:
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat