[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

AYAYA face

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⡉⠻⣿⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⠄⠁⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣠⡼⠛⣁⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠁⣀⣉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⢫⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣁⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠃⢸⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⠛⣉⣡⣤⡴⠖⠄⠚⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Weebs

Attention all Fortnite gamers

twitchquotes: Attention all Fortnite gamers: John Wick is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the squads in the Tilted Towers, but to do this he needs a golden scar and a couple of chug jugs. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so John Wick can secure the bag and achieve the epic Victory Royal!
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

Fortnite

Ahoy matey, I bring ye much love

twitchquotes: (◕‿X✿) Ahoy matey, I bring ye much love. Y'arr be beautiful inside and out, and ye best know that ye matter so much and everythin' ya do plunders my booty in an amazin' way YARHARHAR. (◕‿X✿)
twitch chat
May 2019

Ninja Assassins is not fun or interactive

twitchquotes: Ninja Assassins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one crit without requiring any battles on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Teamfight Tactics more fun and compelling, but taking 20000+ damage in one Zed crit is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

My pasta is really just not salty enough

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, I just finished writing my most recent copypasta, but it needs something else and I was wondering if you can help. My pasta is really just not salty enough and needs some PJSalt. Pls help me finish my masterpiece.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing