[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
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come on chat. smoke with me

twitchquotes: FeelsOkayMan 🚬 πŸ’¨ come on chat. smoke with me.
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Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle

twitchquotes: I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
twitch chat
April 2020

Tempostorm royalty fees

twitchquotes: (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) Dear Mr. Kripp. We at Tempostorm have heard that you have used the coined word "Tempo" in a stream today. Reynad will contact you shortly regarding royalty fees. Have a good Tempo Day Back (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ)
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Mic Muted

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘
March 2015

Classic

RIP Hugh Hefner emojipasta

Rosa sat🚌 so I could walk🚢🏾 MLK walked🚢🏾🚢🏾 so I could runπŸƒπŸΎObama ranπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸƒπŸΎπŸƒπŸΎπŸƒπŸΎ so I could flyπŸ™πŸ½πŸ¦…πŸ¦… HughπŸ‘΄πŸ» diedπŸ’€β˜ οΈ so I could nutπŸ˜«πŸ‡πŸ†πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ #RIP
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

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