[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

A collecion of OwOs and their uses

twitchquotes: A collecion of OwOs and their uses: OwO : Standard use, for noticing bulges owo : When the bulge isn't as big uwu : When you're not impressed by the bulge or there isn't one Γ’wΓ“ : Mischievous OwO, for when you're feeling devious β–‘wβ–‘ : The OwO for people who wear glasses ●w● : The OwO if you're wearing sunglasses Owo : For feeling confused of the bulge β™‘wβ™‘ : The legendary OwO, used for bulges so large that you get heart eyes from it. Do not use this emote lightly, for the power of it is great
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

My family keeps making Amongus references

It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at home😯🀬 don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" πŸ€” and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„ But then the worse partπŸ˜‘ every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS πŸ˜† but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention πŸ˜―πŸ˜…πŸ€£ The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, β€œWhy, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was β€œHuh?” but he kept cutting me off and going β€œhuh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Chat stop spamming XD

twitchquotes: Hey chat, right now im very sleepy and unable to read chat. I got my dog reading chat out loud for me so i can enjoy chat with you guys. He keeps yelling "XD" to me so i suspect chat is spamming XD. Plz stop as youre confusing my dog and hes getting upset. Thank you much appreciate.
twitch chat
May 2019

Art of Conquest Developer visits Kripp's stream

twitchquotes: πŸ”§(Art of Conquestβ„’ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to read the script we sent at the appropriate times, as stated. We have arranged for your requested reward of various veggies and rainbowed colored 10-inch cucumbers to arrive within a week at your house. We will send you some thick broccoli if you include "not sponsored" in your stream title. We hope you will enjoy your rewards and wish you and your vegan family a good day.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

Text-to-Speech Playing