When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
What happened to this ad? :(
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Among Us concerned father
Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game âAmong Usâ after playing it on his computer. While i didnât mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'susâ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said âkickedâ. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying heâll âejectâ me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Dripâ, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a âcrewmateâ. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use âventâ to get there. I donât know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
Among Us / Amogus
Spam so I may stay warm
twitchquotes:
Hello chat. My home is very cold and I do not know if I will make it through the night. Whenever the chat spams, my old laptop heats up very quickly. It is the only thing keeping me alive. Please chat, spam as much as possible so I may stay warm and survive the frigid night.
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I once knew this man. He was from the ocean
twitchquotes:
I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
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A dirty joke from the 1400s...
A dirty joke from the 1400s...
In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. âLook also on the other side,â said the poor creature, âmy husband has sometimes taken that road.â
From âThe Facetiae Or Jocose Tales of Poggioâ, a joke book published in the 1400âs by Poggio Bracciolini
eat hot chip and lie
twitchquotes:
any female born after 1993 canât cook⌠all they know is mcdonaldâs , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
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