[Copypasta] When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021

We wish you a Merry Krippmas

twitchquotes: Κ• Ν‘β—Š Νœβ—‰ Ν‘β—Š Κ” We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas and a Salty New Year. Good top-deckings to you, whereever you are, Good top-deckings for Krippmas, and a Salty New Year. Κ• Ν‘β—Š Νœβ—‰ Ν‘β—Š Κ”
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I am going to donate this big bunch of salt to you!

twitchquotes: This is a very interesting stream Kripp, you always makes me feel better everyday when watching with your oh so sweet voice, i am therefore going to donate this big bunch of salt i saved for you! PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Alright students, how often is Kripp lucky?

twitchquotes: (⌐ Ν‘β–’ ΝœΚ– Ν‘β–’) Alright students, how often is Kripp lucky? γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ Call on me! (⌐ Ν‘β–’ ΝœΚ– Ν‘β–’) Yes little Dong? γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ Kripp is never lucky, sir! (⌐ Ν‘β–’ ΝœΚ– Ν‘β–’) Wrong, Kripp is lucky a reasonable amount of time. Come see me after class for your punishment . Κ•βŒ Ν‘β–’ ͜α΄₯ Ν‘β–’Κ”
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

30% Salty

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘SALTY
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing