[Copypasta] Among Us pick up lines

Thankful to have you as a crewmate… but do you want to add a letter and become screwmates instead? Hey, are you one of my tasks? Because I really want to do you. Hey, are you a vent? Because I’m the imposter and I’d love to come in you. I have a lot of tasks to complete still, but I’d love to do you first. Hey, call me the MedBay… because I’d love to scan your body. Figuring out the imposter is hard…. but I’ve got something harder. I’m jealous of your hat… Because it gets to be on you. Hey are you busy later? Because I’d love to explore your lower engine. Hey, you’re done your tasks right? Wanna come explore my cockpit then? If you’re the imposter, I’d love to be the vent… That way you can come inside me whenever you want. Damn, I wish you were a task… Because I’d have no problem doing you and over and over. Hey did you just kill me? Because I’ve got a big bone sticking out now…
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

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Among Us wikipedia entry comment (The Amogus Effect)

To: Talk:Among Us The heavy amount of shitposting which satires the videogame "Among Us" seems massive and relevant enough to me to have some sort of brief mention in this article. As there is a lot of satire about whether or not Among Us is "dead" or "overpopulated by 5 year olds". Of course, this section would maintain the formal and encyclopedic tone of Wikipedia articles, but things such as the "Among Us Effect" As seen here:1st or in the Lego Piece 26047 (Image of the aforementioned piece, which looks like the Crewmate in Among Us. This internet phenomenom is so big that you can literally post the Image of a trashcan without any context and many people will get the "Amogus" reference But take all of this with a bit of salt. My goal here is not to get the funnies, but to make wikipedia a better place, and I think this is a way to do it, but If you don't feel like this is the right way feel free to tell me.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

amogus is NOT funny

Oh so you said "AMOGUS". you think that's funny? well listen here you idiot, amogus is not funny. there is nothing funny about saying amogus. it just shows how braindead you are that a single misspelled word is what constitutes as humor for you. it is so dumb how you think that replying amogus to me makes you some sort of comedic genius. among us, is a DEAD game, and amogus is a STUPID meme. nobody cares about amogus, so stop sending stupid copypastas or making amogus jokes. you dont look funny, you look like an idiot, and dont make this into some stupid ironic copypasta ok?
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

amongE

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April 2021
Forsen

Among Us / Amogus

Emote

You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

PLEASE END AMONG US AND MCDONALDS

McDonalds is trying to invade the world. I don't know if you'll believe me, but it's true. I have plenty of evidence. In the USA, a McDonalds opens every 14.5 hours. That is very much. I see Mcdonalds every time I drive my car on the road. I live in a smaller area and there are plenty of McDonalds!. Once I saw two were next to each other! I went to Big Bear to have a nice winter, but a FUCKING MCDONALDS WAS THERE. I went to another country to stay there because I always wanted to go there. No McDonalds! but there was a new problem. AMONG US! PLEASE END AMONG US AND MCDONALDS, I AM SUFFERING
July 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing