[Copypasta] Quit gaming 8 months ago. Bought a new car

twitchquotes: Quit gaming 8 months ago. Bought a new car, I have an amazing new girlfriend, I make a shitload of money and I'm buying a house this spring. I party every weekend, I'm never home. I'm enjoying life. Do yourselves a favor. Stop trying to make gaming a career. It's cringe as fuck
twitch chat
September 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Redito I am wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito. I come to watch the tipp stream becaus i want 2ba master. I must ba master of all pokemonarino or my boss "giovanito" will fired me from my businessman job and the helixito will be sad. plz no caparino fettuccine alfredini jigglypuforoni
twitch chat
July 2014
TwitchPlaysPokemon

Pizza

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣷⣤⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⠆⠰⠶⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⢈⣉⠉⣡⣤⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⢡⣾⣿⣿⣷⠋⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠁⠸⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠰⠖⠱⣽⠟⠋⠉⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠉⠖⣀⠀⠀⢁⣀⠀⣴⣶⣦⠀⢴⡆⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣉⡽⠷⠶⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⡄⠛⠋⠘⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣐⣲⣤⣯⠞⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠔⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⣀⡞⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡜⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⠿⣻⣥⣀⡀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⠁⠀⡤⠖⠺⢶⡾⠃⠀⠈⠙⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠓⠾⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
June 2019

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Leifman talk the mumble automatically go to awkward

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ ｔａｌｋ ｔｈｅ ｍｕｍｂｌｅ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ａｗｋｗａｒｄ． Ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ ｇｅｔ ｒｅｋｔ ｂｙ ｔｈｅ ｋｒｉｐｐ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ａｔ ｏｎｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｃｒｉｎｇｅ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｕｎｍｏｄ ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

NaCl deficiency disorder

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, your stream has changed my life completely. I suffer from severe NaCl (salt) deficiency disorder. I had to visit the hospital 5 times a week for salt injections. However, watching your stream supplies me enough salt through the screen. You saved me money time and effort. I can't thank you enough. I owe u my life.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

salty

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