[Copypasta] Quit gaming 8 months ago. Bought a new car

Only one cure to the memes

twitchquotes: there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\ there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\

twitch chat

May 2016

imaqtpie

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.

January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain

twitch chat

June 2020

Please remove Leifman's mod status

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, it has come to my attention that one of your mods "Leifman" has been abusing his authority as mod and banning people for no good reason. I would appreciate if you took some time out of your schedule to take action and remove his mod status. Thank you!

twitch chat

January 2015

Kripp

Megaman

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ascii art

November 2014

[Copypasta] Quit gaming 8 months ago. Bought a new car

Only one cure to the memes

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

Classic

WallStreetBets

Lonely Moby Dick

Please remove Leifman's mod status

Megaman

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