I used to be a real ad
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Iโ€™m hoping Seraphine DIES xD

twitchquotes: Iโ€™m hoping Seraphine DIES xD Iโ€™m a Seraphine HATER because sheโ€™s so cute and EVIL! People get so trolled by her beat drop and her voice lines are SATANIC, like the one about high school! Sheโ€™s super DEGENERATE but also smarter than she looks, just like SATAN as a kid XD
twitch chat
November 2020

League of Legends

only the realest player will dunk this

twitchquotes: TriHard / ๐Ÿ€ TRUE BALLER TEST only the realest player will dunk this ๐Ÿ—‘
twitch chat
March 2018

Chat Test

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

What Is This + Ratio

what is this + L + ratio + wrong + get a job + unfunny + you fell off + never liked you anyway + cope + ur allergic to gluten + don't care + cringe ur a kid + literally shut the fuck up + galileo did it better + your avi was made in MS Excel + ur bf is kinda ugly + i have more subscribers + owned + ur a toddler + reverse double take back + u sleep in a different bedroom from your wife + get rekt + i said it better + u smell + copy + who asked + dead game + seethe + ur a coward + stay mad + you main yuumi + aired + you drive a fiat 500 + the hood watches xqc now + yo mama + ok + currently listening to rizzle kicks without u. plus ur mind numbingly stupid plus ur voice is ronald mcdonald.
May 2022

Ratio

This Disney DVD is enhanced with Disney's FastPlay

twitchquotes: ๐™๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐˜ฟ๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ฎ ๐˜ฟ๐™‘๐˜ฟ ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™๐™–๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐˜ฟ๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ฎโ€™๐™จ ๐™๐™–๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™‹๐™ก๐™–๐™ฎ. ๐™”๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™ž๐™š ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™– ๐™จ๐™š๐™ก๐™š๐™˜๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™—๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™ช๐™จ ๐™›๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™ง๐™š๐™จ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ก๐™ก ๐™—๐™š๐™œ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™–๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ข๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™˜๐™–๐™ก๐™ก๐™ฎ. ๐™๐™ค ๐™—๐™ฎ๐™ฅ๐™–๐™จ๐™จ ๐™๐™–๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™‹๐™ก๐™–๐™ฎ, ๐™จ๐™š๐™ก๐™š๐™˜๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ˆ๐™–๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ˆ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ช ๐™—๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ข๐™š. ๐™๐™–๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™‹๐™ก๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ก๐™ก ๐™—๐™š๐™œ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™– ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉโ€ฆ
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad

Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front

twitchquotes: Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm about as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on to me, I'd be like, "No way, bro. I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks." Yup, one gay dude wouldn't stand a chance. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me. Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There goes George Michael!" And they'd all shriek "Where?!" at once, and I'd make a break for it, and they'd be like, "He's getting away! Chase him! I want his butt!" But I wouldn't just give them my butt. They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them and letting them know how much I'm enjoying myself. So, even though I'd have a bunch of ripped guys all taking turns on my butt, I'd still be enjoying it. But only because I forced myself to. It's not like I could fight these guys off. There are too many of them and they want me too much. What am I, Chuck Norris?" I'm not against homosexuality, though. I say to each his own. You're free to do whatever you want.
twitch chat
February 2020

KappaPride

It's pride month,Coming out as impostersexual.

It's pride month and I a 14 year old white girl have decided that I'm sexually attracted to among us,I cannot hold my feelings for the sussy imposter anymore. SUS SUS SUS,there I came,and it was there that I knew,it was the second cuming of Jesus Christ.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Stop the Rick and Morty copypastas

twitchquotes: Just shut the fuck up. This copypasta was never even funny to begin with. I've never even seen the show, and it was obviously a joke. What kind of idiot do you have to be to think that was ever said seriously? But it makes fun of something which is popular, and therefore popular to shit on among the contrarians on Reddit. Come on, really. I actually do have to wonder about the IQs of people who like that pretentious copypasta. You know, I sometimes can't help but superiorly smirk as I imagine their dumb faces struggling to understand words on a mere internet webpage. In fact, I sometimes find myself in paroxysms of ironic Schadenfreude as I envision the visages of the aforementioned Slow-in-the-minds waging war with the Cultural Artifact they proclaim to be analyzing, only to fall, slack-jawed, back into their insensate stupor, the proverbial Undiscovered Country, "from whose bourn no traveler returns" .
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Chinese gibberish copypasta

twitchquotes: ่‡ฃไบฎ่จ€๏ผšๅ…ˆๅธๅ‰ตๆฅญๆœชๅŠ๏ผŒ่€Œไธญ้“ๅดฉๆฎ‚ใ€‚ไปŠๅคฉไธ‹ไธ‰ๅˆ†๏ผŒ็›Šๅทž็–ฒๅผŠ๏ผŒๆญค่ช ๅฑๆ€ฅๅญ˜ไบกไน‹็ง‹ไนŸใ€‚็„ถไพ่ก›ไน‹่‡ฃ๏ผŒไธๆ‡ˆๆ–ผๅ…ง๏ผ›ๅฟ ๅฟ—ไน‹ๅฃซ๏ผŒๅฟ˜่บซๆ–ผๅค–่€…๏ผŒ่“‹่ฟฝๅ…ˆๅธไน‹ๆฎŠ้‡๏ผŒๆฌฒๅ ฑไน‹ๆ–ผ้™›ไธ‹ไนŸใ€‚่ช ๅฎœ้–‹ๅผต่–่ฝ๏ผŒไปฅๅ…‰ๅ…ˆๅธ้บๅพท๏ผŒๆขๅผ˜ๅฟ—ๅฃซไน‹ๆฐฃ๏ผ›ไธๅฎœๅฆ„่‡ช่ฒ่–„๏ผŒๅผ•ๅ–ปๅคฑ็พฉ๏ผŒไปฅๅกžๅฟ ่ซซไน‹่ทฏไนŸใ€‚ๅฎฎไธญๅบœไธญ๏ผŒไฟฑ็‚บ้ซ”๏ผŒ้™Ÿ็ฝฐ่‡งๅฆ๏ผŒไธๅฎœ็•ฐๅŒใ€‚่‹ฅๆœ‰ไฝœๅงฆ็Šฏ็ง‘๏ผŒๅŠ็‚บๅฟ ๅ–„่€…๏ผŒๅฎœไป˜ๆœ‰ๅธ๏ผŒ่ซ–ๅ…ถๅˆ‘่ณž๏ผŒไปฅๆ˜ญ้™›ไธ‹ๅนณๆ˜Žไน‹ๆฒป๏ผŒไธๅฎœ็ฏ‡็ง๏ผŒไฝฟๅ…งๅค–็•ฐๆณ•ไนŸใ€‚ไพไธญใ€ไพ้ƒŽ้ƒญๆ”ธไน‹ใ€่ฒป่ค˜ใ€่‘ฃๅ…็ญ‰๏ผŒๆญค็š†่‰ฏๅฏฆ๏ผŒๅฟ—ๆ…ฎๅฟ ็ด”๏ผŒๆ˜ฏไปฅๅ…ˆๅธ็ฐกๆ‹”ไปฅ้บ้™›ไธ‹ใ€‚ๆ„šไปฅ็‚บๅฎฎไธญไน‹ไบ‹๏ผŒไบ‹็„กๅคงๅ‰ๅ‡บๅธซ่กจ
twitch chat
June 2014
EtrnlWait

Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings

twitchquotes: Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings after this game, there seems to be an issue with the stream. The colors of the video fade and entire screen goes gray every 30 or so seconds
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Missed lethal does not exist

twitchquotes: Missed lethal does not exist. It is all a well planned and intelligent BM. Now, BM is a very fragile subject. Some say it is bad, some say it is good. But only the best of the best BM kings know the truth. Putting your opponent on 1 health and ending turn is NOT missed lethal. Not using Grommash on explosive trap for lethal is NOT missed lethal. It is pure outplay and master-level BM. So, next time you spam 'MISSED LEGAL' in chat like retards, think again. Watch and learn kids, do as the masters.
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team

twitchquotes: Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much Fusion invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but Fusion will soon learn.
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Hello my beautiful goddess Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello my beautiful goddess Kripp. I saw your stream and figured I'd try writing you. You are astoundingly beautiful to me. It would be a pleasure and a privilege getting to know you. I'd love to find out if you are as beautiful inside as you are out. Hope to hear from you soon, sincerely *nazi mod*, your friendly neighborhood white knight.
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

MODS

I am like a boomerang, I will always return

twitchquotes: Dear nazi mods. you may have permabanned my other account, but shitposting will always find a way. I will lie about how to make faces. I will accuse teams of 322. I will raise my dongers. So don't even waste your time banning me, because I am like a boomerang. I will always return. Pls no copy pasterino dongerino cappucino.
twitch chat
March 2014

MODS

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

You see, I have a very high IQ

twitchquotes: You see, I have a very high IQ. Do you want to know why? Well, I'll tell you anyways, I have a high IQ because I watch this amazing television show (which to my surprise piqued my interest unlike many other television shows) Rick and Morty. This show is remarkably intellectual (Like me, mind you) and not like any other animated shows. My most favorite joke from the show is "WUBALUBADUBDUB" it makes me giddy inside and knowing the common folk wont understand the joke makes me laugh even harder!
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS A JOKE

twitchquotes: You all think these are copypastas. YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS A JOKE, it is not a fucking joke. I am trying to CON-VER-SATE. You are so socially inept to even do this and I canโ€™t carry you in this like everything else since it takes two to conversate. Pay attention. Think thoughts. Just do anything. I swear I donโ€™t even know how your parent can tolerate you.
twitch chat
June 2020

I hate Twitch Chat

The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed, the countless years of veganism finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Rania "K"
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

NA LOST TO CORONA

twitchquotes: NA LOST TO CORONA LUL NA LOST TO POLICE BRUTALITY LUL NA LCS IS SO BAD LUL NA PRODUCTION IS THE WORST LUL NA USING TEETH TO DEFEND THEMSELVES LUL
twitch chat
July 2020

EU vs NA

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Alien through telescope

twitchquotes: AlienPls โ € ๏พŸโ €*โ € ๏ฝกโ € โ €๏พŸโ €๏ฝก โ € โ €โ € โ˜†โ € โ €โ˜…โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € ๏ฝฅ๏พŸโ € โ € โ € โ˜…โ € ๏ฝก๏ฝฅโ €โ €โ €๏พŸโ €โ €๏ฝกโ € โ €โ €โ € โ € โ˜…โ € โ € ๏ฝฅ๏ฝฅโ €โ € โ € โˆดโ €โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € ๏พŸโ € โ € โ € *โ €๏พŸโ €โ €โ €โ˜…โ €โ €โ € ๏ฝก๏ฝฅโ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €I CANT BELIEVE MY EYES ๐Ÿ”ญ OMEGALUL ๓ €€ ๓ €€
twitch chat
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing