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What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?

twitchquotes: What if I... put my Minecraft bed... ๐Ÿ˜ณ next to yours... ๐Ÿ˜ณ aha ha, just kidding.. ๐Ÿ˜‚ unless.. ? ๐Ÿ˜ณ
twitch chat
August 2019

Classic

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜Ž Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff โ˜บ๏ธ to my impostor body pillow, ๐Ÿ˜ฑ but when I came, ๐Ÿ‘ป I started floating, ๐Ÿ˜ฑ and think I got teleported into the skeld. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.๐Ÿคค ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ I immediately was transported back to earth, ๐Ÿ˜ญ and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, ๐Ÿคช as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter ๐Ÿ’ช โ€œIM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTERโ€ I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me ๐Ÿคค but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ™โ˜น๏ธ She then said I was going to a magical place called the โ€œmental asylumโ€ ๐Ÿค” Iโ€™m not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

What happened to this ad? :(

Team Liquid visited an orphanage in Taipei

twitchquotes: After their game, Team Liquid visited an orphanage in Taipei. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope", said Charlie, age 6.
twitch chat
May 2019
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

Jacking Off Emoji

November 2021

NSFW

Emoji Pasta

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

What happened to this ad? :(

Gr8 b8 m8

twitchquotes: Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8, I hope you r8 8/8 .. m8.
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you

twitchquotes: Kripp if you're here right now reading this I want you to know I dream of you. Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you. I'll say things like "hey guys how's it goin' Kripparrian here", and for a brief moment I feel you inside me...
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Bees fly anyway bUrself

twitchquotes: bUrself According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees donโ€™t care what humans think is impossible. bUrself
twitch chat
April 2016

Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(โ„ โ„โ€ขโ„ฯ‰โ„โ€ขโ„ โ„) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ฯ‰๏ผผ) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!๏ผˆ๏ผพใƒฏ๏ผพ)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary.

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary. I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "ๆˆฆใ„, ๆˆฆใ„" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.
April 2022

Anime

Weebs

Attack on Titan

I used to be a real ad

You cheated not only the game, but yourself

twitchquotes: You cheated not only the game, but yourself. You didn't grow. You didn't improve. You took a shortcut and gained nothing. You experienced a hollow victory. Nothing was risked and nothing was gained. It's sad that you don't know the difference.
twitch chat
April 2019

Classic

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

every youtube comment

No one: Not a single soul: This video: exists This comment: hold my beer Me: so you have chosen death Death: that's a big yikes from me dawg Also death: I wasn't expecting special forces Me: mom can we have death Mom: we already have death at home Death at home: surprised pikachu face This video literally makes me cry every time Who else is watching this in ???? This video: wait that's illegal Also this video: why do I hear boss music??? Thumbs up so he sees this comment in 14 years when this video gets recommended! Edit: thanks for the likes XD
December 2020

Classic

Ban one MingLee, get the whole dynasty

twitchquotes: MingLee Ban MingLee One MingLee Lee MingLee And MingLee You MingLee Get MingLee The MingLee Whole MingLee Dynasty MingLee
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

ME ICEFROG ME SPAM NO 700 IF BAN

twitchquotes: OSFrog ME ICEFROG OSFrog ME SPAM OSFrog NO 700 OSFrog IF BAN OSFrog
twitch chat
December 2016

Dota 2

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Danger of being a roleplaying streamer

twitchquotes: Don't forget. As Kaceytron once said... Forsen is a 19 year old Russian fanboy that has obvious drug and alcohol problems. Let's all share this message to let people be aware of the danger of being a roleplaying streamer. 1 Kappa = 1 Prayer.
twitch chat
March 2016
Forsen

Unseen donger is the deadliest

twitchquotes: (เธ‡ อ  อ ยฐ ู„อœ ยฐ)เธ‡ แด›สœแด‡ แดœษดsแด‡แด‡ษด แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€ ษชs แด›สœแด‡ แด…แด‡แด€แด…สŸษชแด‡sแด› (เธ‡ อ ยฐ ู„อœ ยฐ)เธ‡
twitch chat
June 2017

Classic

Based? Based on what?

Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly
December 2020

Classic

Based

You don't let Perfect World organize next time

twitchquotes: BrokeBack You are running Dota 2 Major. You let Perfect World organize because you think they can do it. Perfect World instantly shit on Shanghai major. Everyone lose their shit. You don't let Perfect World organize next time because you're not stupid. BrokeBack
twitch chat
February 2016
Dota Major

Dota 2

I used to be a real ad

President's Day Emoji Pasta

ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธtime to hop onto that founding father dick๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿปor should i say founding DADDIES!!!๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ out here tryna get rammed from behind ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMOREโ˜„๏ธโ˜„๏ธโ›ฐ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh โ„๏ธโ„๏ธ๐ŸŒฌwinters๐ŸŒฌโ„๏ธโ„๏ธ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheets๐ŸŒช๐Ÿ’‘โ“โ“โ“be the monica Lewinsky ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปto my bill clinton๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ baby and i wont deny i had ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†โ™‹๏ธsexual relationsโ™‹๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ† with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programs๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธโœ๐Ÿปsend this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSES๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผwho will throw the nastiest neck๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐ŸŒฌ๐Ÿ’ฆ on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAY๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿšจโค๏ธ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonight๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ
February 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

President's Day

Text-to-Speech Playing