[Copypasta] It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
July 2022

Classic

Confessions

I highlight every message

twitchquotes: Lmao you call yourself a [insert streamer] fan? I'm fucking loaded on channel points bro. I highlight every message because I'm just that jacked. Try talking in chat again when you're a true fan
twitch chat
January 2020

Classic

Big shoutout to NA LCS

twitchquotes: Big shoutout to NA LCS. My mother has sleep anxiety problems, but on weekends she sleeps like a bear. All I ask of her is to watch 10 minutes of NA LCS.
twitch chat
July 2015
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Somewhere in a parallel universe, Europe didn't need to be saved by America

twitchquotes: ★  ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸  ★  :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * . .  ¸ .   °  ¸. * ● ¸ . ...somewhere   ° ☾ °  ¸. ● ¸ .  ★ ° :.  . • °   .  * :. .in a parallel universe* ● ¸     ° ☾ °☆  . * ¸.   ★ ★ ° . .    . ☾ °☆  . * ● ¸ ..EUROPE...° ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ ° :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * DIDN'T NEED TO BE SAVED BY AMERICA ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ °
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

EU vs NA

UwU sentence deterioration

twitchquotes: Imagine reading a post, but over the course of it the quality seems to deteriorate and it gets wose an wose, where the swenetence stwucture and gwammer rewerts to a pwoint of uttew non swence, an u jus dont wanna wead it anymwore (o´ω`o) awd twa wol owdewl iws jus awfwul (´・ω・`)
twitch chat
April 2019

Weebs

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing