[Copypasta] It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

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I cannot get over how much Kripp complains

twitchquotes: I cannot get over how much this guy complains as soon as he doesn't get extremely lucky. He is so incredibly narcissistic that he truly believes nobody else is allowed to do well or draft effective cards. We are all just guests who play in Kripp's world of hearthstone. To suggest that you are better than Kripp must simply mean that you have better RNG. What an arrogant failure of a man
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

In Korea, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

Le fedora has arrived

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆleโ–ˆโ–ˆfedoraโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆhasโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆarrivedโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
February 2015

Classic

FLIP THAT TABLE

(โ•ฏยฐโ–กยฐ)โ•ฏ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป FLIP THAT TABLE. โ”ปโ”โ”ป ๏ธต ใƒฝ(ยฐโ–กยฐใƒฝ) FLIP THIS TABLE. โ”ปโ”โ”ป ๏ธต ๏ผผ\('0')/๏ผ ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป FLIP ALL THE TABLES เฒ _เฒ  Son... เฒ _เฒ  Put. เฒ __เฒ  The tables. เฒ ___เฒ  Back. (โ•ฎยฐ-ยฐ)โ•ฎโ”ณโ”โ”ณ (โ•ฏยฐโ–กยฐ)โ•ฏ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป NEVER!!!!
July 2015

Classic

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