It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
Unbench the kench
twitchquotes:
UNROLL THE TADPOLE 
UNCLOG THE FROG UNLOAD THE TOAD UNINHIBIT THE RIBBIT UNSTICK THE LICK UNIMPRISON THE AMPHIBIAN UNMUTE THE NEWT UNBENCH THE KENCH PERMIT THE KERMIT DEFOG THE POLLIWOG
UNCLOG THE FROG UNLOAD THE TOAD UNINHIBIT THE RIBBIT UNSTICK THE LICK UNIMPRISON THE AMPHIBIAN UNMUTE THE NEWT UNBENCH THE KENCH PERMIT THE KERMIT DEFOG THE POLLIWOG
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
A New Toucan Has Arrived
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββAβNEWβββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββTOUCANβββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββHASβββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββARRIVEDββββ
ββ ββββββββββββββββββ ββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Classic
Chemical Vegan
Spice! 
And everything nice! 
These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect streamer. But Professor Reynad accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction - Chemical Vegan! Thus, the Kripp was born! 
I have to print out chat in order to read it
twitchquotes:
Hey guys, my monitor isn't working. I have to print out chat in order to read it. The paper and ink are really expensive, so please don't spam! Thank you.
twitch chat
Classic
A girl... AND a gamer?
A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~