[Copypasta] It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

Who’s Joe? Joe Momma

"Who’s joe?" a distant voice asks. Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location. The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar. ”Joe Momma…” the creature whispered. The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear. "I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.
September 2021

Classic

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

Handsome Squidward

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β €β –β Šβ ‰β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ™β ²β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β Šβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’¦β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’’β €β €β €β €β €β’³β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ±β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β ˆβ €β‘€β €β €β €β ˆβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘°β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β‘†β‘œβ β €β €β €β €β’§β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⑂⠀⠇⠱⠀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β’‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’„β‘€β’ β£Ÿβ’­β£₯β£€β ½β‘†β €β‘Άβ£Šβ£‰β£²β£€β’€β‘žβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β£†β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β €β β ‚β ˜β „β£ˆβ£™β‘‘β‘΄β €β €β ™β£„β ™β£›β œβ ˜β£†β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’¦β‘€β €β €β €β’Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β „β Šβ €β €β €β €β‘Έβ ›β €β €β €β’Έβ †β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ “β ¦β’„β£˜β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘ β €β €β €β €β£‡β‘€β €β €β£ β Žβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ β ˆβ‘Ÿβ ’β ²β£„β €β €β‘°β ‡β –β’„β €β €β‘Ήβ‘‡β’€β Žβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘‡β €β €β‘‡β €β €β Ήβ €β‘žβ €β €β’€β €β£β ­β‘€β’±β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β£ β žβ €β €β’ β‘‡β €β €β €β €β β €β’΄β ₯β €β ¦β ¦β‘Όβ €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£€β£€β£΄β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ β €β ‹β €β €β €β’Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β£ β’€β β β €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ¬β ₯β£„β €β €β ˆβ ²β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ™β ¦β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’³β €β €β’€β£Ώβ‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ™β ’β ¦β €β’€β£„β£€β£ β €β’Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β € ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⑼⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣢⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣢⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Classic

Everything points to Amogus

πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘ˆπŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘‰πŸ» ࢞ πŸ‘ˆπŸ»πŸ‘ˆπŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘ˆπŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ
March 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing