It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
I used to be a real ad
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UNO skip card
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⢠⣾⡿⠿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀
⢸⣿⢠⠞⣩⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⡆
⢸⣿⣄⣈⣉⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⣿⠏⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⡟⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠘⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⣴⣿⣿⢿⣿⠿⠋⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀
⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣋⠛⢿⣿⠀
⢸⣷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠞⣡⡼⢸⣿⠀
⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣥⣴⣿⠟⠀
Classic
OVERCLOWNFIDENCE
Poop
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Riot Games
Classic
League of Legends
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Classic
WallStreetBets
Circle game got'em
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣄⡀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢠⡀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⣷⡄⠀⠣⣄⡀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⣿⣿⣦⠀⠹⣿⣷⣶⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⢛⡙⢻⠛⣉⢻⣉⢈⣹⣿⣿⠟⣉⢻⡏⢛⠙⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣇⠻⠃⣾⠸⠟⣸⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⡀⠴⠞⡇⣾⡄⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣟⠛⣃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿