It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas
Mods can't ban me at this pace
twitchquotes:
π’ SLOW AND STEADY π’ WINS THE RACE π’ MODS CAN'T BAN ME π’ AT THIS PACE π’
twitch chat
MODS
Classic
Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.
Classic
Look subs, I have more money than you
twitchquotes:
[Μ²Μ
$Μ²Μ
(Μ²Μ
5Μ²Μ
)Μ²Μ
$Μ²Μ
] Look subs, I have more money than you
[Μ²Μ
$Μ²Μ
(Μ²Μ
5Μ²Μ
)Μ²Μ
$Μ²Μ
] Look subs, I have more money than you
twitch chat
Classic
plebs vs subs
Kripp's gotta hit up the bathroom
twitchquotes:
"Give me a second, guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom" He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a swift kick down the stairs. As Dex yelps loudly in pain, Kripp overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this game!" as loudly as he can. Rania tries to calm him down, but Kripp swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Kripp wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Zven checks his PayPal
twitchquotes:
After his loss, Zven stays up deep into the night. As the rest of TSM sleeps, he opens up a new window to check his PayPal. A smile stretches across his face
twitch chat
Riot Games