It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
Doublelift dodges Imaqtpie in queue
twitchquotes:
Doublelift fired up his stream for another day of soloQ, but foolishly forgot to check if Imaqtpie was in a game. He opened up QTβs stream to find him sitting in queueβ¦ He frantically began tabbing between his client and QTβs stream, then one after the otherβ¦ both queues popped. βI need the toiletβ he said to his chat. He ran to the wall and unplugged his internet. He was safe for another day.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
Malta vs Penguins
Somewhere in a parallel universe, Europe didn't need to be saved by America
twitchquotes:
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Β° βΎ β ΒΈ. ΒΈ γβ
γ :.γ . β’ β Β° β
γ .γ *γ.γ.γγΒΈ .γγ Β° γΒΈ. * β ΒΈ .γ...somewhereγγγΒ° βΎ Β° γΒΈ. β ΒΈ .γγβ
γΒ° :.γ . β’ Β° γ .γ *γ:.γ.in a parallel universe* β ΒΈ γγγγΒ° βΎ Β°β γ. * ΒΈ.γγγβ
γβ
Β° . .γγγγ.γβΎ Β°β γ. * β ΒΈ ..EUROPE...Β° βΎγβ
Β°β ΒΈ .γγγβ
γΒ° :.γ . β’ β Β° β
γ .γ * DIDN'T NEED TO BE SAVED BY AMERICA βΎγβ
Β°β ΒΈ .γγγβ
γΒ°
twitch chat
Classic
EU vs NA
Wasting time on Twitch, must be me
No girlfriend βοΈ Shrek is love. Shrek is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.ο»Ώ