It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
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In Japan, heart surgeon
Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
Classic
UNO skip card
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⢠⣾⡿⠿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀
⢸⣿⢠⠞⣩⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⡆
⢸⣿⣄⣈⣉⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⢸⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣥⣴⣿⠟⠀
Classic
Bikini Shrek
What could possibly be that washed up?
twitchquotes:
Hey QT, my family just got back from Hawaii. We noticed this obese life form washed up on shore. We walked over to see what could possibly be that washed up. My brother poked it with a stick and it twitched and said "wow that actually fuckin killed me" wonder what it could be?
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
Remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat
twitchquotes:
Wow great game!! 
(remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat, your $1 has been sent to your Paypal account, Bethesda)
(remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat, your $1 has been sent to your Paypal account, Bethesda)
twitch chat
Kripp