[Copypasta] It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

I used to be a real ad
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A severe lack of cute emotes in chat

twitchquotes: Konichiwa Kripp-kun AYAYA . This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like AYAYA and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

Riot's MIGHT SPAGHETTI CODE of elo hell

twitchquotes: ItsBoshyTime IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING, Riot's MIอซอ„Gฬ…ฬ„อญองฬ‘ฬ‹อ†Hฬƒฬ„ฬพฬƒอจอ’Tฬˆฬอจฬ‹อŠอฎYฬฬ„อ„ อจฬ…อ„Sฬƒอฃอ‹อ—อฉPฬ…อฏฬŠฬฬŒAอฬ’GฬฟHEฬ‚ฬอŒTอ‚ฬฟฬ‘อซTอคอฎองIฬพอŠอฅฬ‹อŠ ฬƒฬŒCอฆฬฝOอฌอฆDฬŽฬEอŠอจฬŠอฏออฃฬ† อ—อ‹ฬ‰ฬ†อฆฬฝoฬ”ฬ‘ฬอŠฬƒฬ†fฬ“อŒอฌ ฬ‘อฉอฃอคelฬ‰oฬ’อฌอ—ฬšอค อคอฏอŒอฉhฬฟอคeอ’ฬ‹ฬ’ฬ„lอชฬŽฬพฬอŠlฬ€อ‹ฬšฬŠ has leaked onto your computer. Bug splats and lost elo will come to you unless you COPY and PASTA this message 3 times ItsBoshyTime
twitch chat
March 2016
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Mic Muted

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
March 2015

Classic

Math is "mental abuse to humans"

twitchquotes: You know how some people say that math is โ€œmental abuse to humansโ€? Well, lemme tell you one thing: โ€œMathโ€ is an abbreviation for โ€œmathematicsโ€, so youโ€™re only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for โ€œexcept mostly at truly intelligently cool studentsโ€! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, youโ€™re not truly intelligent or cool! Youโ€™re dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Donโ€™t forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
twitch chat
October 2020

Classic

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