It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election
twitchquotes:
I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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2020 US Election
Classic
Watch out I'm driving (Truck)
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
โโโโโ โ 
WATCH OUT I'M DRIVING
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
โ(@)โโโโโโโ(@)(@)โโโโโโโโโโโโโ(@)โ
WATCH OUT I'M DRIVING
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
โ(@)โโโโโโโ(@)(@)โโโโโโโโโโโโโ(@)โ
Classic
I have gotten the covid vaccine about 20 times now
I have gotten the covid vaccine about 20 times now. 4 Pfizer, 12 moderna, 4 Johnson. Once I got my first vaccine, I started cravings for it. There is something so great knowing I am reducing the spread of the coronavirus with each of them. I am feeling so empowered. I think I may be addicted ngl :sweat_smile:. At least it won't kill me.
Coronavirus
Classic
COVID
Whoโs Joe? Joe Momma
"Whoโs joe?" a distant voice asks.
Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location.
The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar.
โJoe Mommaโฆโ the creature whispered.
The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear.
"I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.
Classic
I'm just a memer
twitchquotes:
ใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ 
โ just a memer ใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝใใฝใฝ
โ just a memer ใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝ๏ฝใใฝใฝ๏ฝใฝใใฝใฝ
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