[Copypasta] Bees fly anyway bUrself

twitchquotes: bUrself According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. bUrself
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April 2016
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forsenCD PICK A CARD

twitchquotes: forsenCD PICK A CARD ✨ forsenCD ANY CARD ✨ forsenCD THE 2 OF WIVES? ✨ forsenCD EXCELLENT CHOICE ✨
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November 2019
OfflineTV

AITA for drop kicking my 2 month old sister down the stairs?

Some backstory required: Earlier today I was trying to relax but she wouldn't stop fucking making annoying ass googoo gaga noises. So today, I see her, and she is actually standing up! First I think to take a picture and tell my parents, but than I remember what an entitled bitch she is. I run forward, and leap forward and plant both my feet in her face as we both tumble down the stairs. I told my parents that she crawked in front of me whilst I was about to use the stairs so I'm out of trouble, and the surgery went fine and she is basically fine although she seems to have fucking learned her lesson as she 'talks' a lot less now. Next time she does this I'm uppercutting her entitled little baby skull
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

Cake

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇
ascii art
August 2019

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
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June 2016
Kripp

MY DONGER HAS BEEN SPOOKED

twitchquotes: ༼つ☯﹏☯༽༼つ MY DONGER HAS BEEN SPOOKED, AND YOURS WILL BE TOO ༼つ☯﹏☯༽༼つ
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October 2014
imaqtpie
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