[Copypasta] Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจWARNING๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจWARNING๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ”ŠTHIS IS A ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEMEโ—โ— ๐ŸธALERT. INCOMING ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEME๐Ÿธ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘ŒHEADING STRAIGHT ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€YOUR WAY. ๐Ÿ”œ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS๐Ÿšง๐Ÿšง NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEMEโ—โ— ๐Ÿธ ๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹ .BUCKLE UPโ™ฟโ™ฟโ™ฟ THEM SEATBELTS๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿ‘ฎ,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT๐Ÿ“ต๐Ÿ“ต AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ๐Ÿšฌ๐Ÿšฌ ๐Ÿ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ๐Ÿšฌ๐ŸšฌDANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
May 2016

Emoji Pasta

Classic

Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(โ„ โ„โ€ขโ„ฯ‰โ„โ€ขโ„ โ„) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ฯ‰๏ผผ) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!๏ผˆ๏ผพใƒฏ๏ผพ)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Everything points to Amogus

๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป เถž ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿฟ
March 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Somewhere in a parallel universe, Reynad isn't salty

twitchquotes: โ˜…ใ€€ใ€€โ˜… ยฐ โ˜พ โ˜† ยธ. ยธ ใ€€โ˜…ใ€€ :.ใ€€ . โ€ข โ—‹ ยฐ โ˜…ใ€€ .ใ€€ *ใ€€.ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ยธ .ใ€€ใ€€ ยฐ ใ€€ยธ. * โ— ยธ .ใ€€...somewhereใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ยฐ โ˜พ ยฐ ใ€€ยธ. โ— ยธ .ใ€€ใ€€โ˜…ใ€€ยฐ :.ใ€€ . โ€ข ยฐ ใ€€ .ใ€€ *ใ€€:.ใ€€.in a parallel universe* โ— ยธ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ยฐ โ˜พ ยฐโ˜† ใ€€. * ยธ.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ˜…ใ€€โ˜… ยฐ . .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€โ˜พ ยฐโ˜† ใ€€. * โ— ยธ ..Reynad...ยฐ โ˜พใ€€โ˜… ยฐโ— ยธ .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ˜…ใ€€ยฐ :.ใ€€ . โ€ข โ—‹ ยฐ โ˜…ใ€€ .ใ€€ * Isn't salty โ˜พใ€€โ˜… ยฐโ— ยธ .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ˜…ใ€€ยฐ
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Classic

Hearthstone

salty

Text-to-Speech Playing