[Copypasta] Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.
August 2021

Classic

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Rick Astley paradox

twitchquotes: If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.
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June 2020

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Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan 🇯🇵 , heart surgeon ❤️👨‍⚕️ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady hand😳✋️. One day, Yakuza boss 🙇🏻need 🆕 heart💘. I do operation🔪⚔️. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😵😪! Yakuza very mad👿. I hide🙈 in fishing boat🐟🚣🏻‍♀️, come to America🎇🎊🇺🇸. No english🤐, no food😩, no money📉🚫💲. Darryl 👨🏿give me job🙌👨🏻‍💼. Now I have house🏡, American car 🚗 , and new woman 🆕👱🏻‍♀️. Darryl 👨🏿save life⛑. My big secret🙊: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good 👍surgeon. The best👌💯!
July 2019

Emoji Pasta

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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

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I sexually Identify as

AMOGUS (youtube video) v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠁⣀⢀⢀⠀⣀⠀⣀⠀⠀⡀⣀⠙⢷⡀⠺⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⢰⢿⣿⢻⡿⣿⢿⣯⡼⣧⡇⣿⡆⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⡀⠀⠘⢷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢷⣄⠈⢙⡷⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡴⠾⠋⠁⣠⡶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣤⡀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠐⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣶⠻⠟⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⣠⣤⠤⠤⣄⡈⢻⡄⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢰⡖⠲⣶⣶⢤⡤⠤⣤⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠻⣷⣶⡶⠾⠃⠈⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⡿⠿⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢀⣉⣛⠛⠉⢠⡙⠲⢿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡇⠀⣿⣧⣤⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣌⠛⠿⠿⠖⣎⣤⣶⡛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠙⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠠⢤⡀⠀⢀⡬⠟⣻⣿⣯⠍⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣠⠶⠶⠶⢶⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠋⠀⠀⣳⣾⡴⠂⠀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣰⣛⣛⣺⣀⣀⣸⣆⣀⣀⣸⣇⣀⣀⣸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠉⠓⢦⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣷⣼⣵⣻⡄⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⣀⣸⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠛⠛⢻⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛ ⣀⣀⣸⠁⠀⠀⢀⣶⣶⣦⠀⢀⣟⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀
November 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing