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Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast

twitchquotes: Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast. Oliver and I have some smashing news for you! Your casual playstyle, and ability to endure childrens videogames makes you a proper candidate for the splendid world of Minecraft commentary! Tally ho!
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Sneaky goes 8th in TFT 8 times in a row

twitchquotes: After going 8th 8 times in a row, "Patient 8" hits his head on the wall 8 times in quick succession. The patient only communicates to his "chat"; a bunch of random sentences strung together to find out what will make the patient communicate. The word "Meteos" seems to trigger some sort of erotic response in the patient.
twitch chat
May 2021
Sneaky

Teamfight Tactics

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Worry about a tree, miss the entire forest

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ And if you only worry about a tree, you'll miss the entire forest around it ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ-Sage Dong
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps

twitchquotes: Trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable *** off the face of the continent, you little ***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your *** tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will *** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re *** dead, kiddo.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

This means absolutely nothing

twitchquotes: ✞ĦЇϟ ℳ€∀Иϟ Å฿ϟϴℒÜ✝ℰℒ¥ ℵϴ✞ℋℑИḠ, Ї ⒿṲϟ† ШѦИ✝ ℙ€ѺṔℒ€ †☮ ℭѺℙẎṔÅϟ†ℰℝℐℵϴ ѦℵÐ ϟṔÅ♏ ✞ĦЇϟ ℭ♓∀† ℱÜℒℒ Ѻ℉ ℱѦḠ$
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Inflatable seahorse

twitchquotes: This deck is gayer than a malaysian transvestite f*cking a man on an inflatable seahorse
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kripp show us THE decks

twitchquotes: Enough with the bullshit Kripp. We all know you've hid away the best decks for this expansion to be showing off to the ladies, and we in chat find that really weird. All we want is to watch you win, and yet you play some bullshit hunter for some bullshit reason and all you do is lose. Show us the decks Kripp. Show us THE decks.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tides, you suffer another extremely unjust loss

twitchquotes: Once again, Tides, you suffer another extremely unjust loss. I have no idea why you keep losing game after game, even though you possess superb drafting and world-class champion decision making skills. There’s clearly something not right since you are the best player of Teamfight tactics.
twitch chat
June 2019
TidesOfTime

Teamfight Tactics

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021

I am a cute Korean Challenger Supermodel

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ᴄᴜᴛᴇ ᴋᴏʀᴇᴀɴ ᴄʜᴀʟʟᴇɴɢᴇʀ sᴜᴩᴇʀᴍᴏᴅᴇʟ (>‿◠)✌ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ yᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴄᴀʀʀy ᴀʟʟ ᴀᴅᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴜᴄᴋ ᴀʟʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛ. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

can you say something fun so that i can LOL

twitchquotes: hey @imaqtpie ! can you say something fun so that i can LOL (laugh out loud)! Thanks in advance :D
twitch chat
June 2019
imaqtpie

Geepsy from Romania dreams to play Cardstone

twitchquotes: I am Geepsy from Romania. All of my life I have dreamed to play against top players like Dennis and ray nads in Cardstone. My girlfriend Alextrasza sold our farm to achieve my dream. Wish me luck at Dreamhack!
twitch chat
April 2014
PGL

My name is Reynad!

twitch chat
October 2014
TidesOfTime

Kripp's bike accident

twitchquotes: Toronto authorities reported that Octavian "kripp" Morosan passed away last night in the Toronto east general Hospital after a bike accident near his home
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room

twitchquotes: Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room. "The canvas needed to topdeck exactly that color to win!" he yells. Dex brings Kripp his paintbrush and Kripp tries again. He tries to paint a happy tree but paints a sad cactus. "The canvas is obviously sniping. How else could it know I was painting a happy tree?" Dex barks. "Quiet, Dex!" screams Kripp as he paints the bottom right of the canvas and concedes.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun

twitchquotes: Hi guys, please be careful - if you keep writing the same message, mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun last year at World's. This is your last warning. I am a Twitch moderator.
twitch chat
June 2021

Copypasta being funny is just incomprehensible

twitchquotes: I always thought comedy was something I could never lose my grasp on, but "Copypasta" being funny to anybody is just incomprehensible.
twitch chat
April 2019

Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here

twitchquotes: Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here, I mean I thought this was supposed to be "the worst chat in twitch" and this is all you got!? The KPM in this chat is WAY too low, it is actually depressing. How am I supposed to enjoy chat without dongers, "FrankerZ's", and the occasional elephant?
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.ᕙ໒(˵ ̄ᴥ ̄˵)७ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Krippler and the Donger people

twitchquotes: Krippler's aim is to establish a New Order of absolute Nazi German hegemony in the Twitch Metaverse. To this end, his foreign and domestic policies had the aim of seizing Lebensraum ("living space") for the Donger people. Under Krippler's rule, in 1941 German forces and their European allies occupied most of Europe and North Africa.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing