[Copypasta] Coca Cola shortage

twitchquotes: THIS JUST IN: Stores across the world are reporting a major shortage of 'store brand Cola'. Sources indicate that over 20 million bottles were sold within minutes of an endorsement by some dirty Romanian living in Athens.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Welcome to the $5 strip club

twitchquotes: So I went to a Strip Club in Greece the other night and guess who i saw there. It was the Kripp with hundreds of 5 dollar bills. So the Stripper goes in a hot pose, Kripp smiles and pours himself a glass of OJ. Kripp said "Welcome to the 5 Dollar Club" and they went into a private room. Not sure what .happened then but i guess he gave her a brofist.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Please wake up, we miss you

twitchquotes: If you’re reading this, you’ve been in coma for almost 20 years now. We’re trying a new technique. We don’t know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope it works. Please wake up, we miss you.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Classic

Blessings to you, Oh Salty One

twitchquotes: Blessings to you, Oh Salty One. This is Pope Francis, leader of the Catholic Church. My son, why do you avoid choosing Priest for your arena runs? Are you so afraid of attaining Salvation? It worries me that you prefer playing the murderous rogue or the destructive mage to the humble priest. You have sinned much already through your veganism, but atonement can be reached through more Priest runs. Thank you and God Bless.
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–„β–‘ β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–Œ ░▐▓▒░░▄▒▒▓▄▄▒▒▒░▒▄▄▄▒▒▓ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ░▐▓░░░░▒▒▓▓▓░░░▒▓▓▓▓▓▒▓ β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–“β–’β–“β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–’β–„
ascii art
November 2014
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing