[Copypasta] Coca Cola shortage

twitchquotes: THIS JUST IN: Stores across the world are reporting a major shortage of 'store brand Cola'. Sources indicate that over 20 million bottles were sold within minutes of an endorsement by some dirty Romanian living in Athens.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle

twitchquotes: There is one sign the Kripparrian can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Morosan, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for Twitch and Youtube, if you seek liberalization, come here to this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, tear down this wall!
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

ATTENTION 2003 KIDS

twitchquotes: ❗️❗️❗️ATTENTION 2003 KIDS❗️❗️❗️!!! This πŸ‘‡ is the last year of being a kid πŸ˜”πŸ‘¦πŸ‘§! Because NEXT πŸ‘‰YEAR! We gon be T33N4G3RSπŸ’πŸ™…πŸ’…!! PARTYING πŸŽ‰πŸ’ƒ DRINKING 🍻🍸🍹🍷 MAKING OUT AND SEX πŸ‘…πŸ’¦πŸ˜³ PERIODS 😩🍫 HEARTBREAKS πŸ’”πŸ˜ͺ MIDDLE SCHOOL SOPHOMORES (7TH GRADE)
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

This is Catarrian's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian, this is the Catarrian's mother. I am writing to in human words because the Catarrian feels he has been mistreated. He tells me "meow" which means that he feels you are not giving him enough stream time. And he also said "Nyaa," which means you better pet the Catarrian
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kripp suffers from Casualitis

twitchquotes: Romanian doctor say in thick accent, "He suffer from Casualitis, too many salts in blood." OJ is injected into the Kripp, but he continues to mumble "Really bro," and "Wow," numerous times. A priest enters and rips a bag of pepperonis over the Kripp. Papparin say "Drink with me friends," and offer cappucino to all.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat (β€œChat”) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (β€œnl_Kripp”) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing