[Copypasta] This is my son Nestor

twitchquotes: For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.
twitch chat
June 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Need a STEM mind for Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: Teenagers and man children according to who? You? What is your standard? I'm a fan of Rick and Morty, and I've been watching since episode one. Most of my friends who are scientists love the show, because it has a sense of humor and plot lines that you need a STEM mind simply to follow, let alone interpret and appreciate. Most of the people who diss the show are standard literature, philosophy, sociology a business majors who would rather watch shit like The Office or How I Met Your Mother and other shit-tier shows. Get off your high horse
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Kripp with sunglasses

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–„β–‘ ░▐▓▒░▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▒▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▓ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–β–“β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘ β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–“β–’β–“β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–’β–„
January 2015
Kripp

I love Carl from Brawl Stars

Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
December 2020

BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing