[Copypasta] This is my son Nestor

twitchquotes: For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.
twitch chat
June 2020
https://www.rollcall.com/2020/06/18/matt-gaetz-and-the-until-now-unknown-adopted-son-from-cuba/
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?

twitchquotes: What if I... put my Minecraft bed... 😳 next to yours... 😳 aha ha, just kidding.. 😂 unless.. ? 😳
twitch chat
August 2019

Classic

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

k3soju bt diff kiyoon fanfic

twitchquotes: Soju and kiyoon lying on their deathbed talking about good old set 5. Soju: Remember how broken BT was hehe. Kiyoon: Yeah haha. The nurse comes in with Sojus daily blood transfusion (BT), what she didnt know is tha kiyoon had paid off the nurse to give him the wrong blood. Soju: Kiyoon im dying, i got downgraded so hard. IK soju, ik... goodbye old friend. Fucking BT diff soju whispers with his last breath...
twitch chat
May 2021
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica

twitchquotes: LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica, having been lost at sea due to his lack of geographical knowledge as well as his lack of map awareness and ending up in the region known for their excellent ARAM skills and elderly pro players. He is specifically known for his knowledge about "freezing" and one-tricking Volibear in level 25 draft pick. He states: "I had to shove the wave and ended up in NA. If we hadn't anchored I wouldn't be hardstuck in the fucking atlantic sea" and "No, my pathing wasn't bad, if the captain had listened to me we could've denied 3 waves". He can be found sailing the bottom of solo-queue just like he almost sailed the bottom of the sea.
twitch chat
September 2020
imls

League of Legends

Reddit and Twitter changed their logos

twitchquotes: My entire life I’ve been a hardcore anti-minority white man who despised anyone who didn’t look like me, but today I saw reddit and twitter changed their logos to the color black, and now I’m sitting here in shock just thinking about my choices in life. Wow.
twitch chat
June 2020
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