Waiting for adblock to be disabled
Sort by:

Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English

Bi God’s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradūāten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the “Internet”? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spēking wit minen aspīeris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spīen aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spītǒus frivōl thou namest “thine lif”. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed! Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cǒuthest hauen knouen what unblessed pūnīciǒun thine littel “gleu” glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tǒng stille. But thou cǒuthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
February 2021

Navy Seal

Lego City copypasta collection

Prepare for landing at LEGO city airport. The giant passenger plane has just arrived. Lower the luggage, and prepare for boarding. Hey! Build the stairs, board the passengers, and take off! The airport collection from LEGO city. There is a traffic jam at LEGO city. Stop! The main bridge is out and needs to be repaired! Hey! Bring in the giant crane, rig the crane, lift up the heavy road and help your city! The construction collection from LEGO city. There's a new fire station at LEGO city! Build the new fire station! Start the fire trucks! And rush out the garage! Hey! Open the garage door! Race to the rescue! And save your city! The new fire collection from LEGO city. The big container ship arrives at the new LEGO city harbour! Load the ship, with the big harbour crane! Hey! Build the crane, lift the heavy containers! Load the ship! And set out from the harbour! The new transport collection from LEGO city. Emergency in LEGO city harbour! The big container ship is on fire! Quick! To the fire station! You can launch the new fire boat! Hey! You can build the fire boat! Attach the motor! And rush out to put out the fire! The new fireboat is fast! Powerful! And perfect for the job! You can save the day! With the new fire boat in LEGO city! Batteries not included. Each set sold separately.
December 2020

Lego City

I used to be a real ad

Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018

I am a sub with cash

twitchquotes: Hey you poor, underage trash. 🗑️ You know what the symbol next to my name means? Means I am a sub. Means I am a VIP. Means I got cash. 💵 What you got? You got shit. 💩 You poor non-sub trash ought to pay me and my sub-bros some respect. 💯 We subbed because we have cash. 💵 Real life jobs, real life credit cards.
twitch chat
May 2019

plebs vs subs

Press CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch The Twitch Anti-Bot Algorithm(TM) has detected you may be a bot. Please press the A key on your keyboard and then press the key combo CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot.————————————————————————
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad

Darth Bearish the Regarded

Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"? I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you. It’s an ancient Bear legend. Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called. But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
June 2022

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

WallStreetBets

moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity

twitchquotes: Don't get it twisted chat. moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity or for a better emote or anything. It was a selfish desire to personally absolve the broadcaster of his poor use of ultimate abilities. He wants to forget, but this we cannot allow. Every McCree Q to respawn, we moon2LULT. Every Winston ult jumping off the edge, we moon2LULT. Every time he presses Q at 20 HP and dies instantly, we moon2LULT. You must be vigilant, vertical scrolling communication room. moon2LULT
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

KFC rejection letter

Hi Sophie, Thank you for your application to Team KFC. We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for. But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future. Best Wishes, Team KFC
October 2021

Don't take it personally

twitchquotes: hey i just want to let you guys know i really want to win and if i say something about your skill its just because im frustrated and i dont want any of you guys to take it personally but ive been having some rough games
twitch chat
May 2017

League of Legends

Kripp please lick your knee

twitchquotes: Please for the love of god Kripp just lick your goddam knee. I've been sitting here for 10 hours straight watching that boney *** knee of yours by your big lushous mouth. Please just fulfill this one wish I have and lick that sexy *** knee of yours so I can blow my creamy load all over myself and slowly fall into a deep sleep.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Easter emoji pasta

April 2021

Emoji Pasta

This copypasta pushed your comment into the void

twitchquotes: Oh, were you trying to send a message in this chat? Sorry pal, didn't see you there. In fact, I don't think anybody saw your message. Chat is just moving too fast with all these people spamming large amounts of text. Thems just the breaks kid, welcome to twitch. Don't even bother trying to share your opinion, because at the end of the day, the only thing that the rest of the viewers will remember is this meaningless copypasta that pushed your comment up into the void.
twitch chat
August 2020

my friend is intellectually inferior for me for being christian

Ok, so today I was talking to my friend over text. I asked him what's his favorite anime but then he told me that he doesn't watch it and thinks it's boring. I was confused as to why he didn't watch anime. I told him about how much I like to watch anime "for the plot" but he didn't really show much interest. I then asked him if we could play Among Us later but then he said he has to go to church this afternoon. I never knew he was a Christian. I was asking him why he believed in God and he didn't reply so I told him he's intellectually inferior to me and that his parents indoctrinated him into believing in God. I was sending him scientific studies that show proof that atheists are more intellectually superior to people who believe in religion. I later found out that he was attending a funeral at the church.
December 2020

Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020

I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night

I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night. I know I know. Another "I had a dream about Jerma" post. I've been thinking about whether or not to post this for the last 3 days, since everyone and their grandmas are doing these posts. But whatever. Three nights ago I dreamt that I was watching a jerma stream and he did something so utterly hilarious that I bursted out laughing so hard that I actually woke up from it. I looked for my phone to write down what he was doing (because it was 2 am and I needed to go back to sleep) but I couldn't find it for the life of me. Then in the corner of my eye a webcam appeared and it was Jerma laughing his ass off saying "chat he can't find it" and "he doesn't know pepeface". I was still dreaming lmao. I saw chat and it was just a wall of OMEGALULs. The whole situation was hilarious so then I woke up for real this time. Unfortunately because of the nature of the dream I can't remember what he was doing originally that was so funny. I think he was choking on a piece of bread or something.
March 2022
Jerma985
I used to be a real ad

Eadric the Pure requests Brotherman Bill

twitch chat
October 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool

twitchquotes: Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool, remember me, dork? I thought I'd pop in after finishing my first 60 reps at the gym - y'know, that place REAL men go to? Anyways, guess you're still playing video games - AS USUAL. Have a nice life, "gamer"
twitch chat
July 2019

Tanner from High School

NA REJOICE! UMA JAN IS HERE!

twitchquotes: NA REJOICE! UMA JAN has crossed the ocean to show you the light! UMA JAN will teach you that sidelanes exist! UMA JAN will teach you that you can win a game before 40 minutes! NA REJOICE! UMA JAN IS HERE!
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

HAFU TURN OFF THE VIBRATOR

twitch chat
October 2014
Hafu
What happened to this ad? :(

FunPlus Pheonix logo

twitchquotes: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠟⢡⣿⣧⣴⡶⠶⣦⣄⣀⣼⣿⡌⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠀⠉⢋⣽⣿⣇⠀⠹⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡟⣿⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣿⢻⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠁⠹⣇⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠇⠀⣸⠏⢘⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣇⠘⠧⠀⠠⡶⠤⠽⡿⢿⡿⣧⢤⣤⢼⡿⠿⢤⣶⡤⠤⠾⣧⣾⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⡇⠰⢶⡇⢸⡇⣿⢀⠻⢸⣿⡄⠈⢿⠃⢀⣾⣣⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣶⣄⣀⣇⣸⣿⣇⣘⣁⣿⣸⣆⣸⣿⣿⡄⠀⢀⣾⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡏⣩⠉⡏⣿⣿⠉⣿⢹⠋⣭⣹⣿⣿⠃⠀⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣤⣴⡇⠿⢿⠀⠿⢸⠗⠦⢸⣿⠃⢀⣾⡄⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠓⠛⠛⣳⡶⢞⡷⢒⡞⢳⠒⢾⠳⢶⣞⠛⠓⠒⠒⠛⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣋⣰⡏⠀⣼⠀⠘⣇⠀⢳⣄⣹⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢶⣴⣿⠀⠀⣿⣤⡾⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠷⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing