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So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?

Hippity 🐰hoppity 🐰HOES 👯its Easter 📅🍭🍫and you 👉🏻know what that means. 👅👄💦💦💦Big 🐇bunny 🐰daddy 😫😫😫is going to bring all his sluttiest 😏😳chicks 🐥🐥some of his sweet 🍫candy🍬 DICK 🍆💦👅Jesus 👳🏾died 🙅🏻❌for a whole 💝life of sin😏😏😏, but the Easter 🥚🥚🥚Daddy👱🏻 only CUMS 😫🍆once 1️⃣a year😳. Send➡️ this to 1️⃣5️⃣of your SLUTTIEST 🚺🚺🚺disciples 💒to get bunny 🐇CUMMIES 💦💦💦for your Easter 🍫🐥🐰and have daddy 👱🏻🐇put his white😏❕ chocolate 😩🍫CUM 🍦into one1️⃣ of your👉🏻 eggs. If you get ❌🚫none❌🙅🏻🤦🏻‍♀️ back you’re 👉🏻a stillborn🚼❎ egg 🥚🍳(prude) 👼🏻😒😒if you get five 5️⃣back you’re 👉🏻daddies 🐇peep🐣🐣🐣 show if you get 1️⃣0️⃣ back 😩you’re a chocolate🍫🍫 WHORE 😏👯if you get all 1️⃣5️⃣ you’re daddies🕺🏼 CARROT 🥕🥕💦💦CUMPIE 🍰🍰🍰

When i was 13, i came out to my parents as a morbius male. They couldnt accept my morbality, so they sent me off to camp. They just didnt understand— i was morbed that way. At the camp, they gave us electromorb therapy to morb us into beta males. I resisted the treatment, being a morbius male, you cant morb me out of being morbed. I fooled the counselors into thinking they had successfully morbed be into a beta male, and i returned home. To this day, i live a double life— one for my parents, who still cannot accept morbality, and one where its always morbin time.

So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!