[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 2)

When I went into the office the next day everybody ignored me. So I walked up to a coworker and said "Hey, why are you ignoring me, you're a bit sussy!" He reached for the red phone and I was reminded it looked like the Among us character. So I said "When the phone is sus hahahahhah" and I did the Linus tech tips disappointed face. "Get it? Do you use reddit?" He was talking to management when I cut the phone cord and threw it across the office. I said "Red was the imposter! hahahah!" And I did the among us drip song. "Ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding!" He wasn't smiling and he punched me but I said "You're sus! You're the imposter I saw you vent!" He was angry and he tried to punch me again but I grabbed his fist and said "Omae wa mo shinderu." He tried to punch me again he is a loser! He didn't even get my anime reference. So I took off my pants and shoved them on my his head. "You just got pantsed! HAhahahah" and I did the pepe smile and ran out of the office. Who wants to talk to an IMPOSTER? Stupid bitch
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Spider

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November 2014

Identify as an FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft missile

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as an FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft missile. My sole erotic fantasy is to explode inside an attack helicopter with such force that their physical vessel is utterly consumed by the intensity of my fiery passion.
twitch chat
March 2015

I sexually Identify as

a tesla drives down the street in 2021

the year is 2021 A tesla drives down the street unknowing of the danger behind it a beast of American metal and lightning The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can It cannot save him, he can hear the music already "THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY" He realizes he is already dead In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV It stops for no one
December 2020

WallStreetBets

SO MALD

β’°β‘Ÿβ ›β ‚β’ β‘Ύβ ›β »β£Άβ €β €β €β£Ύβ£Ώβ‘„β €β£°β’Ώβ‘‡β €β’°β£Ώβ£‡β €β’°β£Ώβ €β €β’Έβ‘Ÿβ ›β’Άβ‘„ β ˜β »β£Άβ‘„β’Έβ‘‡β €β €β£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β£Ώβ‘β£·β’ β‘Ÿβ’Έβ‘‡β €β£Ύβ£β£Ώβ‘„β’Έβ£Ώβ €β €β’Έβ‘‡β €β’Έβ‘‡ β’ β£€β£Όβ β ˜β’·β£€β£΄β Ώβ €β €β €β’Ώβ‘‡β’Έβ£Ώβ β’Έβ‘‡β£Έβ β ‰β Ήβ£·β Έβ£Ώβ£€ β’Έβ£§β£€β‘Ύ
July 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing