God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Investing in gourd futures
Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
WallStreetBets
I screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral
Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus ππππππππππππ
Among Us / Amogus
Two beefy cholos
twitchquotes:
Asked for two beefy cholos at taco bell, I'm so embarrassed, I thought it was a menu item, instead two chefs came out from the back and massaged my prostate
Asked for two beefy cholos at taco bell, I'm so embarrassed, I thought it was a menu item, instead two chefs came out from the back and massaged my prostate
twitch chat
Dyrus
Your elo doesn't mean you play at that skill level
twitchquotes:
Your elo doesnβt necessarily mean you play at that skill level. Iβve been silver a couple seasons but i play at a platinum level. Iβve played a lot of games with plat/diamond players and managed to carry (mostly aram)
twitch chat
League of Legends
15 camels
twitchquotes:
Hey Forsen, this Ali Muhammed from ISIS camp in Syria. Because you played that Skrillex song defiling our god we will now bomb your home unless you pay us 15 camels.
twitch chat
Forsen