[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS (text)

β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€      
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Ben Shapiro's naughty girl

Let's say you've been a bad girl. Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty girl even. Ok, and if you were a naughty girl, you would be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking, you would be my little cumslut. Now, let's say you're also daddy's girl. Now that we have established that you are both a bad girl and daddy's girl, I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking. Am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking, and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Jack Ma goes missing

Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him πŸ˜”
January 2021

WallStreetBets

I will cut off your dick if you cheat on me

(✿ β—•β€Ώβ—•) α“„βœ‚β•°Uβ•―
April 2021

Le fedora has arrived

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆleβ–ˆβ–ˆfedoraβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆhasβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆarrivedβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘ β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
February 2015

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing