God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Response to Pokimane's tease that she might leave Twitch
tare you kidding me? i spent so much money on you, tier 3 every month and you’re not even going to be on Twitch anymore? this is unjust! not to mention the countless channel points ive collected to redeem on POKI stickers and maybe even more! ResidentSleeper, L streamer.
Pokimane
Become one with the awkward
twitchquotes:
Ｗｈｅｎ Ｒｅｙｎａｄ ｄａｒｅ， ｍｙ ｐａｌｍ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｆａｃｅ． Ｉ ｂｅｃｏｍｅ ｏｎｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ａｗｋｗａｒｄ， ａｎｄ ｃｒｉｎｇｅ． Ｐｌｓ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ．
twitch chat
Reynad
Fancy LUL
WIN LOSE STREAM EAT GIMME GIMME
twitchquotes:
I WIN 
I LOSE I STREAM I EAT GIMME GIMME
I LOSE I STREAM I EAT GIMME GIMME
twitch chat
Kripp
Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.