God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico. Me Englando is ferry bad but i just wantet to zay zat i crossed the river in a rubber boot to Murica to become a pro player! One day i saw ur stream and i see how handsome and good u are. Dat day i decided i wanna become like u! Zo i killed my wife sold her, bought a rubber boat and now im here! Zank u for inspiring me! One day i become good player and pimp like u! or else rapist like unle Benni No coparoni peperoni pastarino plz!
twitch chat
Kripp
Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack
twitchquotes:
Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack. His fingers were soft and smelled faintly of cucumber. He slowly pulled out the card, caressing it with his fingers. "I didn't expect it to be so big", he said as he looked at the 7/7 stats. "And only 4 mana?" he said and moaned softly.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?
My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
Classic
Am I The Asshole?
Vandelar from the castle jousting team
twitchquotes:
Hail Kripp, 'tis I, Vandelar from the castle jousting team. How does life treat you today? I notice you continue to fool around with children's playing cards, some things never change! Art thou still playing the wizard of warcraft children's game? I never had time for such pursuits, for I found myself occupied with defending my honor, and laying with beautiful wenches. Alas, it was nice to see thou again, write me and we shall visit the tavern 
twitch chat
Kripp
I donāt know what Overwatch is
twitchquotes:
I donāt know what Overwatch is. Thereās a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I donāt know. And then sometimes if that wasnāt bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when Iām getting a handle on what āJunkrat kin discourseā is yall show up with āThis is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniperā and then SHEāS part of the Overwatchers. āThis is Swedish Beefcakeā could yall? not?? I still donāt know what a Hanzo is.
twitch chat