[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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NaM emote

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–„β–„β–’β–“β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–„β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–„β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–„β–’β–“β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
October 2018

bears are always fucked

Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a 🌈🐻 this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Discord made me racist

Last time when I was 9 years old, my 29 years old roblox friend told me to download an app called discord. So after using discord for 3 years, I found multiple racist servers that I joined. They all send nazi and geroge floyd. They say n word and shit and now I say the n word too. I think saying n word is so funny. I say heil hitler too πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Everytime I post gore, me and the boys can’t stop laughing. We jack off to fortnite sex too. I am now racist and a nazi πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
June 2021

Discord

Infinite Cum Part 2

Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity. β€œYou’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room. β€œWhere am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos. β€œYou are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.” β€œHow?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity. β€œYou have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity. By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.” β€œWill I not die?” β€œYou can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist” … Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you. Months pass. The cum accelerates. Then years. The cum accelerates. Then decades. The cum accelerates. Then centuries. The cum accelerates. Then eons. The cum accelerates. No one talks to you. You don’t even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity. The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased. Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth. Their plan was flawed.
April 2022

Infinite Cum

You have been permanently banned from this channel

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch You have been permanently banned from this channel. Please review the Twitch Terms of Service for more information. β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
June 2017
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