[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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AYAYA

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⡛⣿⣿⣿⣯⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⢟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡻⣿⣿⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠻⡫⣢⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣨⣝⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢕⠸⣛⣩⣥⣄⣩⢝⣛⡿⠿⣿⣿⣆⢝ ⣿⣿⢡⣸⣿⣏⣿⣿⣶⣯⣙⠫⢺⣿⣷⡈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣟⣒⣋⣙⠊ ⣿⡏⡿⣛⣍⢿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣝⡮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣋⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡕⣡⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿ ⣦⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⢛⠷⡹⣿⠋⣉⣠⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣿ ⣷⡝⣿⡞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠁⣠⣤⣤⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡹⣿⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡿⠟⠉⡀⠄⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣼⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⠿⢟⣻⡽⢚⣤⡞⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿
October 2018

Weebs

Classic

Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool

twitchquotes: Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool, remember me, dork? I thought I'd pop in after finishing my first 60 reps at the gym - y'know, that place REAL men go to? Anyways, guess you're still playing video games - AS USUAL. Have a nice life, "gamer"
twitch chat
July 2019

Tanner from High School

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

My name is Yoshikage Kira

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
September 2019

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

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