[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

NA aka "Not Able"

twitchquotes: NA, aka "Not Able," is a minor region in Riot's League of Legends that is often ridiculed for failing to show up at international performances. It is specifically known for the money wasted to bring in midlaners with dental problems from better regions.
twitch chat
July 2019

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022

FitnessGram Pacer Test

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
September 2016

Classic

Ben Shapiro's naughty girl

Let's say you've been a bad girl. Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty girl even. Ok, and if you were a naughty girl, you would be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking, you would be my little cumslut. Now, let's say you're also daddy's girl. Now that we have established that you are both a bad girl and daddy's girl, I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking. Am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking, and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Hank Hill

⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣀⠤⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⣦⣀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣾⡟⠋⢉⡉⠁⡟⢿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢂⣠⡾⣿⠋⠉⠁⢠⣦⢄⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⢴⡻⣷⡢⣧⢸⣷ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⣿⡀⠀⢞⣁⣛⠤⠃⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸⣷⣀⣸⣖⣀⣸⣿⡿ ⢠⡟⠋⠻⠿⠟⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⡤⠶⠟⠀⠀⠀⠻⡉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠈⣷ ⢸⣄⠈⢹⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠹⣦⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢏⡤⢤⣀⣀⡠⠏⠀⠀⠐⢲⡇ ⠀⠀⠘⣷⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠤⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣊⣯⣽⣵⣷⡇⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⣇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⠉⠠⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠱⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠴⠀⡏
August 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing