[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄‒⁄ω⁄‒⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/Ο‰οΌΌ) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!οΌˆοΌΎγƒ―οΌΎ)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

IF YOU TOUCH THE ARMOR, GO TO SLEEP

twitchquotes: SLEEP TEST πŸ›‘οΈ IF YOU TOUCH THE ARMOR, GO TO SLEEP ⎝ ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
August 2019

Hearthstone

We Live In A Society

We Live In A Society in which us Gamers are ridiculed, mocked, shunned, bullied and ridiculed for simply choosing to undertake a hobby which requires critical thinking, lightning-fast reflexes and JUST AN OUNCE (in case you can’t tell, that is an understatement) more brainpower than what is required your typical ball game. However, females, in their backwards and downright unreasonable thinking, see us as bottom-dwelling, subhuman freaks and would rather settle for the bottom line of evolution, aka jocks (or β€œChad”). In order for Our Society to progress, this mindset must be completely eradicated and us Gamers, with our genetic high intelligence, impeccable combat knowledge and indescribable reasoning skills, must be allowed to impregnate females of our choosing with our seed. If this current course continues, humanity as a whole will be plagued with low-IQ specimens and unsatisfactory evolutionary progress. Do you think that extraterrestrial, intellectuals beings will look upon us as a species, no, as a SOCIETY, to be communed with, to be seen as EQUALS, if our highest evolutionary success is measured by how far you can throw a ball? Don’t make me laugh, sir. Aside from your basic genetic and evolutionary advantages to be gained by having females (of our choosing) breed with us Gamers, we can also assure that they will be treated like the Goddesses that we see them as. No more will they be spending countless nights being physically abused and emotionally destroyed by your Common Chad. They will be shown courteous treatment of the highest quality by a true Gentlemen. Instead of Chad taking Stacy out to a restaurant, only to leave her the bill and abandon her that very same night to coitally engage with Veronica, they will be subjected to sublime culinary delights, tender strips selected from the finest breed of Poultry your normie brain could not even begin to comprehend, personelly delivered to my safe haven beneath my mother’s residence, paid for in currency I am earned by doing simple, gentlemenly duties for my beloved Matriarch. And she will euphorically enjoy her meal as I give her the foot massage she had craved for so long, a simple pleasure denied by the very selfish and obsolete mind of Chad. So you see, the next time you seek to inquire if our movement is mere β€œsatire”, You may wish to simply stop. Just stop, and instead of mocking us Gamers, perhaps try, as futile as it may be, to engage in intelligent discussion to the level of our satisfaction. Because you see, their time is coming. The age of the Chad is over. The age of the Gamers is upon us. Gamers Rise Up.
March 2021

Equal rights equal fights

I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg. So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
May 2022

BionicBunion

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–’β–€β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–“β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–„ β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–“ β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€
November 2014
patashu
Text-to-Speech Playing