[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Kermit the frog caused 9/11

Kermit the frog caused 9/11. In the 2002 TV film "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie", there's a part where an angel shows Kermit an alternate reality where he was never born. For whatever reason, the editors didn't really think about it, and continued to use footage with the twin towers still standing for this scene, however they aren't there in his original universe. Therefore, something that Kermit did in his life, did in fact cause 9/11 in Muppet lore.
February 2021

Sanic Hegehog

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–€β–β–„β–‘β–€β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„ β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€ β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
July 2015

Trump Biden fanfic

Trump wins the election by one vote. He tries to find out who the last vote was. It was Biden. He then says to Biden β€œafter all this you still voted for me?” Trump then changes his vote to Biden which then makes it a tie. They both get very emotional. Biden then leans in and makes out with trump on national television. They run away and live the rest of their lives together. Which leaves Kanye west as the 46th president of the United States.
November 2020

2020 US Election

Stuck in Kripp's basement

twitchquotes: |Μ…|(Μ…|Μ…β—‰Μ…|Μ…β—‘Μ…|Μ…β—”Μ…|Μ…)Μ…| HELP I'M STUCK IN KRIPP'S BASEMENT |Μ…|(Μ…|Μ…β—‰Μ…|Μ…β—‘Μ…|Μ…β—”Μ…|Μ…)Μ…|
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp's IQ is officially more than 1000

twitchquotes: nice win man you totally outplayed him on every level, every single play you did showed a whole new level of skill and meta beyond our mortal brains understandings, i have no idea how its even humanly possible to be so amazing at this card game as you are Kripp, your IQ is officially more than 1000
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing