[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020

Kripp's IQ is officially more than 1000

twitchquotes: nice win man you totally outplayed him on every level, every single play you did showed a whole new level of skill and meta beyond our mortal brains understandings, i have no idea how its even humanly possible to be so amazing at this card game as you are Kripp, your IQ is officially more than 1000
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

I know Pikachu dittos are pretty wild looking

twitchquotes: I know Pikachu dittos are pretty wild looking, but I'm hoping viewers watch w/ an open mind. Beneath what looks like Quick Attack spam is actually a lot of depth in the MU. Knowing when to press the B button is important. Pika dealing with his own height is intriguing too.
twitch chat
March 2019

Super Smash Bros

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Donger

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing