whats that? holy shit. holy fucking shit. you fucking genius. did you actually just correct someone's spelling? you fucking madlad. i can't believe i just witnessed one of the greatest achievements in human history right now. i think im gonna cry, im so excited. to be honest, i would suck your dick to reward you for your HUGE contribution to the human race if the line wasnt so long. you know what? fuck it. ill let you fuck my wife. ill pay you to fuck her. only for the slim chance that one of her kids will have a small part of your magnificent iq. ill mortgage my fucking house just so you could have 15 minutes with her, while hoping that your MASSIVE cock won't rip her in half. after that, we should start a religion for you. fuck jesus, the only thing this dick did is resurrect himself. you are entitled to the praise he's getting. we should make you immortal. losing you would mean stopping the human evolution and we would all revert to monkeys, not that we are more than monkeys in your majestic presence. I suggest we go to the UN and tell them to hand over all their authority to you, im sure you can unite all the people of the world just with a single swing of your cock, making the entire population wet in the process. just before that one more thing: can you shut the fuck up? nobody cares about that fucking typo you single chromosomed retarded gnome. I bet you think you are so fucking smart and witty after pointing something that didnt bother anyone. God, you are fucking pretentious, i bet you actually believed all of the text above. Did you think i would let you fuck my wife? She is only 12 you sick paedophile. Im calling the police so you could be tortured for eternity while your remains will be forcibly fed to everybody from your family or anyone even remotely related to you while they are forced to anally fuck a penguin. no, seriously do you think i'm joking? i'll come to your house and fuck your ass with a cactus. not that you would feel it after all the things you already had up there. you're a fucking twat that doesnt contribute to society and you deserve to die slowly.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
She needs a man that can treat her right
twitchquotes:
What the fuck man. I'm literally sitting here on the verge of tears. Slaving away in this dead end job saving up for the end of the month splash. I was this close. Maybe I should have done that overtime, if I could get her that money earlier I might have been able to convince her in the dono message. She needs a man that can treat her right, a man like me. I would open the car door for her EVERY TIME, I would pull out her chair at a restaurant, I would lay my twitch hoodie over puddles to protect her from the filth.
twitch chat
Simps
Mom, twitch chat is not a documentary on Nazis!
twitchquotes:
Ｍｙ ｍｏｍ ｊｕｓｔ ｗａｌｋｅｄ ｉｎｔｏ ｍｙ ｒｏｏｍ ａｎｄ ａｓｋｅｄ ｗｈｙ Ｉ ｗａｓ ｗａｔｃｈｉｎｇ ａ ｄｏｃｕｍｅｎｔａｒｙ ｏｎ Ｈｉｔｌｅｒｓ ｔｏｐ ｏｆｆｉｃｅｒｓ． Ｉ ｔｏｌｄ ｈｅｒ "Ｎｏ ｍｏｍ ｉｔ＇ｓ ｊｕｓｔ ｔｗｉｔｃｈ ｃｈａｔ ｍｏｄｓ" Ｓｈｅ ｃａｌｌｅｄ ｍｅ ａ Ｊｅｗ ｈａｔｅｒ ａｎｄ ｂｕｒｎｅｄ ａ Ｓｗａｓｔｉｋａ ｉｎｔｏ ｍｙ ｆｏｒｅｈｅａｄ．
twitch chat
Trump
Math is "mental abuse to humans"
twitchquotes:
You know how some people say that math is “mental abuse to humans”? Well, lemme tell you one thing: “Math” is an abbreviation for “mathematics”, so you’re only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for “except mostly at truly intelligently cool students”! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, you’re not truly intelligent or cool! You’re dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Don’t forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
twitch chat
Classic
Here you go again you simp
twitchquotes:
Here you go again you simp. pokiYikes If youre so butthurt about poki being the cooler, swagger and more beautiful streamer then why dont you just stop and think about what she means to me. I give her my paycheck. I almost had to take a mortgage out just to buy food but you know what? It doesnt matter. Pokimane reads when I sub each month and she gives me a smile so its worth. Sorry for rambling I just cant deal with you pathetic simps ✋
twitch chat
Pokimane
Simps
Tired of getting Sniped?
twitchquotes:
Tired of getting Sniped? No problem! Here at Sniper Deflectors™ we can shield your Arena Queue from incoming Snipers with our new patent-pending SniperShield™ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming sniper shots right back to the sniper-guild recruiter (definitely not DRIVEZY), causing them to effectively Snipe themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
twitch chat
Kripp