whats that? holy shit. holy fucking shit. you fucking genius. did you actually just correct someone's spelling? you fucking madlad. i can't believe i just witnessed one of the greatest achievements in human history right now. i think im gonna cry, im so excited. to be honest, i would suck your dick to reward you for your HUGE contribution to the human race if the line wasnt so long. you know what? fuck it. ill let you fuck my wife. ill pay you to fuck her. only for the slim chance that one of her kids will have a small part of your magnificent iq. ill mortgage my fucking house just so you could have 15 minutes with her, while hoping that your MASSIVE cock won't rip her in half. after that, we should start a religion for you. fuck jesus, the only thing this dick did is resurrect himself. you are entitled to the praise he's getting. we should make you immortal. losing you would mean stopping the human evolution and we would all revert to monkeys, not that we are more than monkeys in your majestic presence. I suggest we go to the UN and tell them to hand over all their authority to you, im sure you can unite all the people of the world just with a single swing of your cock, making the entire population wet in the process. just before that one more thing: can you shut the fuck up? nobody cares about that fucking typo you single chromosomed retarded gnome. I bet you think you are so fucking smart and witty after pointing something that didnt bother anyone. God, you are fucking pretentious, i bet you actually believed all of the text above. Did you think i would let you fuck my wife? She is only 12 you sick paedophile. Im calling the police so you could be tortured for eternity while your remains will be forcibly fed to everybody from your family or anyone even remotely related to you while they are forced to anally fuck a penguin. no, seriously do you think i'm joking? i'll come to your house and fuck your ass with a cactus. not that you would feel it after all the things you already had up there. you're a fucking twat that doesnt contribute to society and you deserve to die slowly.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
AROOOOGA eyes pop out jaw drops
twitchquotes:
Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
twitch chat
So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay
So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party."
He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.
His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
Wife attack AITA?
I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
Jumping Mario
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▒▄▄▄▒▒▒
▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▀▓▓▓▀█░░░█▒▒
▒▒▒▒▄▀▓▓▄██████▄░█▒▒
▒▒▒▄█▄█▀░░▄░▄░█▀▀▄▒▒
▒▒▄▀░██▄░░▀░▀░▀▄▓█▒▒
▒▒▀▄░░▀░▄█▄▄░░▄█▄▀▒▒
▒▒▒▒▀█▄▄░░▀▀▀█▀▓█▒▒▒
▒▒▒▄▀▓▓▓▀██▀▀█▄▀▒▒▒▒
▒▒█▓▓▄▀▀▀▄█▄▓▓▀█▒▒▒▒
▒▒▀▄█░░░░░█▀▀▄▄▀█▒▒▒
▒▒▒▄▀▀▄▄▄██▄▄█▀▓▓█▒▒
▒▒█▀▓█████████▓▓▓█▒▒
▒▒█▓▓██▀▀▀▒▒▒▀▄▄█▀▒▒
▒▒▒▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Troll face 5
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣛⣛⠛⠒⠲⠶⠦⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠏⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⠶⣛⣩⣥⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣤⣤⣭⣭⣉⣉⣛⣛⣻⣭⣥⠬⡍⠛⢶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠃⠀⠀⣠⡶⢋⡵⢛⡩⠵⠒⠒⠒⠒⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⠤⠤⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠘⢁⡴⢋⣴⢿⠒⠈⠉⣏⠉⠐⠒⡾⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠀⠀⢀⣀⣈⣙⣆⡀⠀⠀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠟⣁⠀⠁⢀⣤⣦⣤⡀⠘⠀⢈⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣇⠖⠉⠙⠅⠀⠀⠉⠉⠑⢦⡈⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⢿⣧⠤⠤⠤⠄⠀⠖⣿⠀⠃⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠐⠁⢸⡇⠀⣀⣰⠉⠠⠀⠀⣰⣶⣷⣶⠀⠀⠀⢱⡈⢻⣦⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⣱⠋⢀⣴⠶⠚⠻⢶⣤⡘⢧⣄⠆⠂⠀⡉⠉⣉⣀⣀⠉⣠⡟⠁⠀⠉⢻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠟⠛⠀⠀⢈⡿⢍⢢⢹⡇⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⡇⢠⣿⠁⠀⢰⣦⡀⠉⠉⠀⠈⠙⠲⠾⠾⠶⠶⠶⠚⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣯⡑⠢⢤⣀⣂⣀⣨⠤⠒⠛⠃⠘⡆⡇⡧⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⡇⢸⡇⢠⣴⣾⠋⠛⢷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⠤⠴⢠⠶⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⠀⠀⡼⢡⢣⡇⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⣧⠘⠿⠀⠀⠸⣧⡀⠀⠈⢻⡿⢶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠸⣆⠐⠟⠻⠷⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠛⠃⠑⠤⠀⢀⣼⣿⡇⢀⠤⢂⣾⠃⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣌⠑⠦⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣷⣤⣸⣷⡀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣶⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣠⡴⣿⠉⣿⣿⠀⠀⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⣼⠁⠀⠈⠉⠙⣿⠛⠛⠻⢿⠿⠛⠛⢻⡇⠀⢸⡀⣹⣿⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣿⣄⣀⣀⣸⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣦⠀⠘⣿⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠘⢷⡀⠘⡟⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠻⣾⡃⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣄⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⣹⠇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣄⠈⠛⠷⣼⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⡿⠀⢸⠇⣘⣧⠟⠀⢀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢷⣄⡀⠀⠙⠻⠷⠶⣶⣾⣿⣤⣀⣠⣿⣄⣀⣴⠷⠶⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⢀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⡤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀