twitchquotes:
Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)
The other day, it was “take your kid to work day” at my dad’s job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldn’t help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, “Is this the Among Us but real??” My dad replied “No, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.”
As we entered the building, my dad said “Son, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.” He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said “Does anyone wanna play some Among Us?” However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled “Executive Meeting Room”. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me “Hey buddy, are you lost?” I noticed that his nametag read “Hugh Johnson, CFO”. “Does CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?”, I asked. “No, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!” He was yelling at me. So I said “You’re sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have a… HUGE JOHNSON?! That’s funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!” I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said “Wanna play some Among Us guys?”
The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said “Young man, go back to the first floor now!” But the sexy woman I just couldn’t listen to as I admired her. “No, because you have big tits.” Her jaw dropped, and she said, “Young man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!” She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said “Do you like what you see?” Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. “I’m so hot~~~~” I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldn’t find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
Trolling with Among Us
Among Us / Amogus
GME investor thinking what they will do after they're rich
If all this plays out as the DD states (it will), the system is going to be bled so bad it's going to make the recession look like childs play. Even if it's a fraction of the maximum damage some of the highest end DD states, we are still going to breach numbers beyond our wildest dreams. I think it is important that you take more than a few moments to yourself to recognize the gravity of that kind of lifechanging occurrence.
Personally, in my dream world after all this is over, I'd like to imagine the following scenario:
Apes gain enough money to impart systemic change on a global scale. We have apes from literally every corner of the world in this play. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if a scientist on Antarctica was in on this. That is a global redistribution of wealth. This isn't just the US that benefits. The Europoors are here in droves, I've seen posts from a Phillipino trying to help his dad and a South American who cobbled together 3 months wages to buy 1 share of Gamestop. ONE SHARE FOR THREE MONTHS WAGES! Imagine that level of poverty disparity for one second. That person is going to come into that global economy money. If she held out to the top end, imagine what kind of change she could impart on her community to help invest in infrastructure, businesses, technology. Things that are lacking in her neighborhood. I live in Mexico (but am American) and personally, I would love to use the money to help fix Mexico's sewage problem so we can finally drink the tap water.
Maybe these projects can't be done on a governmental scale. You'll be helping a percentage of your community that you can afford with the money you have. But, if everyone, and I mean everyone, who made money off this play used it to invest in their communities, imagine the growth?
The World Health Organization said that it would only cost $30 billion dollars to fix world hunger. What if we get trillions? Individually, across the entire world, we could grow just about every nook and cranny of society based on what we know for our respective territories. Remember the age old issue of "starving children in Africa"? As an American, we literally hear that all the time from our parents if we don't clean our plates off. It's like making a joke of a serious issue that has gone ignored for god knows how long. Maybe the wealth that gets transferred to individuals in Africa will be more effective than the money that is being used now for infrastructure and societal projects in those regions because they actually care because they're a regular, empathetic, caring person. I don't know what all the current problems are in the world. Media is not a very good outlet for communicating all the problems in the world because there are just TOO MANY. but I know what the current problems are in MY area. Really, as long as you're investing in other people who do these things because they have more expertise, that is totally fine. Playing the stock market is actually a really good way to vote with your money. Just contribute back.
So, in my perfect world, none of you bought actual lambos (well, maybe treat yourself if you end up one of the $500 million/share moonshotters). None of you bought mega mansions or $100,000 watches. You lived an upper modest life, because you deserve that for having the cohones to play this play. You don't support those industries that cater exclusively to people who have so much money they'd rather buy something monumentally expensive than be more mindful of their environment and try to improve it. Imagine if all of us just became more asshole rich people? The people we used to hate because all they did was buy luxurious items while the world burned around them. What you did was you were maybe a Flint, Michigan resident and you helped fix the plumbing to some degree, but got the city to pay you based on the water usage. You were a resident where power is inconsistent and you build some solar panels and charged the city for their use. You were a citizen where food is sparse and poverty is immense, and you invest in farms and you sell locally. Whatever you're passionate about that's a problem in your area.
And not just that:
We continue our immense collective power to amass information on stuff that's important that will also make us a shit load of money (because the more we make, the more we can fix our own problems). I really hope we don't see a day where the DD stops flowing. We can't let such an information engine die after this. Can you imagine what knowledge we'd find if we dedicated our efforts on learning something else like we did with GME?
Going further than my previous example, I would love to see a world where there are focused mega-projects we decide to work on as an investigative unit. Dig into theories of why they're not working, what could be done to improve it, and who can or is doing it so we can financially support them (assuming they have sound business models).
I'm definitely writing this stoned off my tits, so maybe this will be just the musings of someone who likes the stock, but it felt like something worth talking about because I'm not sure we'll get another opportunity like this for generations. I can't even really think of the LAST massive citizen wealth distribution we had and frankly, I'm too lazy to google it, but it was a long ass time ago I'm sure.
I'm just really jazzed about all this. It feels like a giant ass step forward for humanity, if I'm being honest (and again, really stoned. In fact, the longer I write this, the more stoned I'm becoming). I feel like the world powers lost their grip on control for a moment and you know what? Everything is alright. Maybe one day we will actually ease up on all this conflict and start working together as a species.
End rant. Lord. If anyone actually reads this, I'll be surprised xD.
Edit: Oof. Just read this nasty piece of news: https://futurism.com/the-byte/scientists-mass-extinction-organisms-flee-equator What if this becomes our next project? Fix the environment, one city at a time.
Thanks for joining me in my musings
Edit2: You know what I'm gonna do? When I get my tendies I'm gonna hire some software coders and web designers to make a site that tracks the perceived importance of issues, voted on by the people and link them to subreddit communities for people who want to help. You might have to look at some ads, so I can keep it free, but it could be a nice way to rally the world to certain causes or act as a metric for world notice/care/importance.
WallStreetBets
1/1 Webspinner
twitchquotes:
Hi Reynad, I just wanted to thank you for not ruining my life. I was lucky enough to go on a date with a girl last night and she ended up wanting to ride my 1/1 webspinner. She wasn't on birth control but luckily I was able to use code TEMPOSTORM to get 100% off teenage parenthood 
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Reynad
Hearthstone
Fairy tale of Reynard and Lea
twitchquotes:
Let me tell you the fairy tale of Reynard and Lea. Once there was a magical salt-shaker named Reynard. He lived in a magical kitchen where the princess Lea would make sandwiches. One day Lea shook Reynard too hard and he broke, spilling salt everywhere. 
twitch chat
Reynad
Logan Paul Japanese Forest
ay yo what's up #logang today we're going to be heading in the #japanesesuicideforest here in japan, but first of all make sure to smash that like button, share this video, and subscribe for more vlogs like this one right here, also make sure to follow me on twitter, instagram google +, and like my page on facebook and pintrest. before heading in here i just wanna say suicide is not a joke but is that a dead body i'm not fucking with ya'll let's get the camera in there. as you can see this person is dead if you don't want to end up like him make sure you stay subscribed you know he probably ain't have no friends but if your in the #logang you know logan is your best friend haha chilling anyways thanks for watching guys and i won't be monetizing this video but make sure to check out my merch in the description, and dont forget to like share and subscribe and peace out #logang haha