[Copypasta] Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old"

twitchquotes: Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!
twitch chat
November 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I'm better than professional valorant players

Wait, these are PROFESSIONAL valorant players? I'm better than all of them and I'm in bronze. I purposely empty my vandal clip down to 1 bullet because I kill all my opponents with 1 tap ease. Tenz looks like he could use some lessons from me directly. I'm bronze by the way.
August 2021

Valorant

The Feed Lord is here

twitchquotes: Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana slowly stroked his beard. There was only one thing on his mind. "I have a need..." he smirked. "A need to feed." His hand moved from his beard to his mouse. He locked in kog maw with a grin. "The Feed Lord is here."
twitch chat
August 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Donger

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œ β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–’β–„β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–’β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resistaβ€” radio static
March 2021

LULW pointing at WeirdChamp

twitchquotes: LULW LULW πŸ‘‡ β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € LULW πŸ‘‰ WeirdChamp πŸ‘ˆ LULW β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € β € πŸ‘† LULW LULW
twitch chat
September 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing