[Copypasta] Promoted to mod status

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.

April 2021

FeelsAmazingMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣩⣭⣥⣭⣭⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣶⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠙⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣋⣭⣭⣭⣭⣔⠻⣿⣿⣿⢸⡴⠆⢀⡾⠟⠁⠀⢰⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣎⠛⠿⠓⠒⠈⠁⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠀⠈⣿⣿⡇⠒⠒⠒⠂⢀⣠⣴⠟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⠒⢋⣴⠿⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⠿⠋⢵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠁⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⣠⣴⡿⠟⣋⣤⣦⡙⢌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠙⠒⠒⠒⠂⠀⢀⣠⡶⠿⢛⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠳⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⢀⣰⠂⢀⣤⣶⠾⢛⣡⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⡏⠀⠟⠃⠀⣿⡉⢥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡙⢎⢻⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠰⡄⠈⠻⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢿⣿ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠈⠻⣦⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣛⡛⠳⠈⡌⢿ ⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠈⠛⢷⣤⡁⠤⣤⣍⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣷⠄⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠀⠀⠙⠻⣷⣶⣬⣍⣒⡂⠈⠍⢐⣛⣩⣥⣴⠾⢋⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⠿⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿

ascii art

September 2020

Pepe

MIC VOLUME TOO LOW

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎｓｕｂｍｏｄｅｏｆｆ，ｉａｐｐｌｙｃａｎｃｅｒｄｉｒｅｃｔｌｙｔｏｃｈａｔ．ｉｓｔａｒｅａｔｔｈｅｃｈａｔａｎｄｓａｙｔｈｅＭＩＣＶＯＬＵＭＥＩＳＴＯＯＬＯＷａｌｌｍａｋｉｎｇｒｅｙｎａｄ

twitch chat

April 2014

Reynad

I think i need a special vaccine

twitchquotes: 😳 what's this? my heart is beating so fast 💓 I feel dizzy 🤪 what is this tension in my lower body?

I am sweating so much 🥵 I think i need a special vaccine 🍆 because I have [insert streamer name]virus 🤒🤒🤒

twitch chat

April 2021

I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT

Oh for the love of God. Enough with the MORBIUS. What’s even the joke???? “Hahahaha hey guys the movie sucks but I pretend it’s good”???? THATS NOT EVEN A FUCKING JOKE. Holy shit my dick is going to fall out of its foreskin if I have to hear, “hehe it’s morbin time” ONE MORE TIME. Not only is it NOT funny, IT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. THE POWER RANGERS HAVENT BEEN RELEVANT IN DECADES. MORBIUS SUCKS THE MOVIE IS COMPLETE TRASH AND IM ASHAMED TO HAVE SPENT MONEY ON IT. You know…. I never would have seen the movie without all of these “memes”(unfunny shitposts). I would have been a MUCH HAPPIER PERSON. So fuck your “MORBIUS” your “mighty morbin more morbs morbidly MORBIUS BULLSHIT” NO ONE CARES, YOU ARENT FUNNY. Does not a singular human being have any independent thought anymore???? “Morb morb morb morb” you’re like a BUNCH OF SEAGULLS. SEA GULLS. What the FUCK does “morbin” even mean????? ITS NOT A WORD. ITS JUST GOBBLE GOOP. I feel like I am the last truly sentient human being on earth. IM BEING DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. TAKE YOUR MORBIUS BULLSHIT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, AND GO OUTSIDE. Maybe if you went outside you could get “morb” bitches on your dick??!!! YOU LIKE THAT, YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE REDUCED ME INTO. I am a shell of a man and all of you collectively are to blame.This meme has spread like a debilitating illness AND I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT. THE FALL OF WESTERN SOCIETY IS HERE AND THIS COMPLETE UNFUNNY DRIBBLE OF A MEME IS PART OF THE PROBLEM. WHAT THE FUCK DOES “gETtiNg MoRBed” EVEN MEAN. it makes ZERO SENSE. ITS JUST GIBBERISH. FUCKING GIBB ER ISH. ITS NOT FUNNY. Saying “morb” LIKE ITS ITS OWN PUNCHLINE IS NOT COMEDY. IT IS COMEDIC AND CULTURAL DEGRADATION. Are we really so stunted as a generation that even the mention of any word that starts with m-o-r-b is FUNNY??? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE. Is it funny because it isn’t funny because praising something bad is now good??????? HOW MANY LAYERS OF IRONY DO WE NEED. HOW FAR DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO. This website has stripped me of EVERY LAST BRAINCELL. GOING ON REDDIT FEELS LIKE IM GETTING A SUPER HERO INDUCED LOBOTOMY. I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT. I know I’m just going to get FLOODED WITH “get morbed, this guy got morbed, what morb does to a man” HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHQHQHAHAHAHAHAHWHHSHWBSQIISHWINSIQKSBDD SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY AGAGAGGAGHHHHHHHHH

July 2022

[Copypasta] Promoted to mod status

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

FeelsAmazingMan

Pepe

MIC VOLUME TOO LOW

I think i need a special vaccine

I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT

Morbius

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