[Copypasta] Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Uninstalling valorant

UNINSTALLING VALORANT ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▢   ╭━╮╭━╮╭╮ ╱      ╰━┫╰━┫╰╯╱╭╮      ╰━╯╰━╯ ╱ ╰╯           COMPLETE
June 2021

Valorant

Classic

PagChomp

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣯⣥⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⠟⠉⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣡⣼⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣟⣭⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⡀⢀⣩⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⡛⠛⠛⠛⢋⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⠛⠛⠓⠠⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣦⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣜⡻⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⣰⣾⣷⣶⣿⣾⣖⣻⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⢉⡽⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡤⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠛⢶⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠲⣴⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠄⠈⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city? I thought not. It's not a story the Playmobils would tell you. It's a LEGO legend. Man Lego was a Dark Lord of building, so powerful and so wise he could use the bricks to influence the constructions to create rescue helicopters… He had such a knowledge of building that he could even keep the ones he cared about from falling. The dark side of the LEGOs is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice threw him into the river in LEGO city. Ironic. He could rescue others from the river, but not himself.
December 2020

Lego City

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Are you going to pay for another pizza?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! So here I was enjoying my favorite food (pizza) and watching your stream having a good time when it started to taste extra salty. It turns out you were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza. Are you going to pay for another pizza or will I have to call the cops? This is serious.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

salty

Quibi is shutting down

twitchquotes: Quibi is shutting down. What’s the fuckin point anymore? Now what am I supposed to do when I go to a restaurant and they tell me my table won’t be ready for another eight minutes? How am I supposed to pass those eight minutes using a cell phone and internet connection without quibi exclusive content only available on quibi? Where else can i get “quick bites” of content streaming directly to my mobile phone for viewing on the go? As if 2020 wasn’t bad enough now I can’t watch any more murder house flip, the show where they renovate houses where human beings have lost their lives at the hands of their loved ones and sell those houses to rich cosmopolitan couples looking to move out of the city? What’s the point? I for one am not “content” with the current state of the “content”
twitch chat
October 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing