[Copypasta] Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

The ogrelord. Shrek.

November 2014

Shrek

Kamala Harris loves Fweedom

Senator Kamala Harris started her life’s work young. She laughs from her gut, the way you would with family, as she remembers being wheeled through an Oakland, California, civil rights march in a stroller with no straps with her parents and her uncle. At some point, she fell from the stroller (few safety regulations existed for children's equipment back then), and the adults, caught up in the rapture of protest, just kept on marching. By the time they noticed little Kamala was gone and doubled back, she was understandably upset. "My mother tells the story about how I’m fussing," Harris told the magazine. "And she’s like, ‘Baby, what do you want? What do you need?’ And I just looked at her and I said, ‘Fweedom.’"
January 2021

2020 US Election

I'm going all in boys!

twitchquotes: ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ IM GOING ALL IN B O Y S! ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ Yᵒᵘ Oᶰˡʸ Lᶤᵛᵉ Oᶰᶜᵉ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

lethal

twitchquotes: Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. “Pepperoni” Kripp whispered into Amaz’s elvish ear, as they started making out. “Do…do I win?” Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. “Your deck is crazy” Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. “It’s lethal guys” Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing