[Copypasta] Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020
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The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021

Soyjak Pointing

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July 2022

Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Who is TUCK and why does everyone want to FRUMP him?

twitchquotes: Hello Twitch chat, i am new to Twitch and wanted to know who this "T U C K" guy is and why everyone wants to "F R U M P" him? I thank you for your answers and pls no copy pasta this spam Greyface Kappa Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Spiderman Logo

β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–Œβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–€β–„β–Œβ–„β–β–„β–€β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€ β”€β–β–ˆβ”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ”€ β”€β”€β–€β–€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β”€β–€β–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€ β–β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€ β”€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β”€β”€
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing