twitchquotes:
NA THIS EU THAT IM JUST WIDIN IN TWITCH CHAT
NA THIS EU THAT IM JUST WIDIN IN TWITCH CHAT
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(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I thought my parents were rap battling
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck mann fick fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
My parents were fighting and I thought they were rap battling so I came in and started beatboxing. Fuck fuck fuck why am I such an idiot fuck fuck fuck
Bowling simulator: E-Bowler
twitchquotes:
Hello my name is Kenneth Jizbombski, president of Viral Games, Inc. Recently sales of our most popular Bowling simulator "E-Bowler" have plummeted. Please help my small company by going out and getting E-Bowler any way that you can. I want E-Bowler to spread infecting people with it's incredible gameplay!
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Kripp
I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite
twitchquotes:
๐๐๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ท ๐พ๐น ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ฑ, ๐ฒ'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฒ๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป 90 ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ต๐ต ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ'๐ป๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท ๐ถ๐ฎ? ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด ๐ช๐ฐ๐ช๐ฒ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฝ, ๐ฒ'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ท 69 ๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ท๐ญ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ๐ท๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ฝ. ๐'๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ท ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ท๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ, ๐ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐พ๐ท๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐น๐ธ๐ท๐ผ. ๐จ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ณ๐พ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ท ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐๐ช๐ฝ, ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ฑ.
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Fortnite
I finally did it. I out-pizza'd the Hut
I finally did it. I out-pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life.
After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out-pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeรฑo," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeรฑo." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out-pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger.
A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. M-mom, dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi-" a single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out-pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty county road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone.
At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out-pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one.
With a free side order of pain.
Random Koala fact of the day
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Hafu