[Copypasta] Logan Paul Apology but I replace "apologize" with "cum"

I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and I don't expect to be forgiven. I'm simply here to cum. So what we came across that day on the woods was obviously unplanned and the reactions you saw on tape were raw, they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down, and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently, but I didn't, and for that from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to cum to the internet, I want to cum to anyone who's seen the video, I want to cum to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But, most importantly, I want to cum to the victim and his family. For, my fans, who are defending my actions, please don't, they do not deserve to be defended. The goal of my content is always to entertain, to push the boundaries, to be all inclusive and in the world I live in I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said, I made a huge mistake, I don't expect to be forgiven, I'm just here to cum. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm disappointed in myself, and I promise to be better. I will be better, thank you.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. It’s a 🏳️‍🌈🐻 legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation… He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… transitory. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
May 2022

WallStreetBets

All intensive purposes

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
September 2021

Smoke weed everyday

twitchquotes: ╭━━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰━━┳╮╭┳━━┫┃╭┳━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰━━╮┃╰╯┃╭╮┃╰╯┫┃━┫╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰━╯┃┃┃┃╰╯┃╭╮┫┃━┫╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰━━━┻┻┻┻━━┻╯╰┻━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╭╮╭╮╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃┃┃┃┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃┃┃┃┃┣━━┳━━┳━╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰╯╰╯┃┃━┫┃━┫╭╮┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰╮╭╮╭┫┃━┫┃━┫╰╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╱╰╯╰╯╰━━┻━━┻━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╭━━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮ ┃╭━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃ ┃╰━━┳╮╭┳━━┳━┳╮╱╭┳━╯┣━━┳╮╱╭╮┃┃ ┃╭━━┫╰╯┃┃━┫╭┫┃╱┃┃╭╮┃╭╮┃┃╱┃┃╰╯ ┃╰━━╋╮╭┫┃━┫┃┃╰━╯┃╰╯┃╭╮┃╰━╯┃╭╮ ╰━━━╯╰╯╰━━┻╯╰━╮╭┻━━┻╯╰┻━╮╭╯╰╯ ╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭━╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╭━╯┃ ╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╰━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╰━━╯
twitch chat
June 2016
imaqtpie

Mr Bear song (that's where your hopes go to die)

Well There's all sorts of creatures, down on Dangley Doodle Farm. Like wise old Mr Octopus, with way too many arms! There's Mr Pig! And Mr Cow! They're always in good moods. But That's cause they don't know they'll soon be sliced up into food! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to turn into despair. Mr Bear! What's That over there? That's where your dreams go to die! Mr Racoon! Wants to go to the moon. He'll end up as a bus driver soon! Mr Porcupine! Thinks he'll read the news at nine, he'll end up as a janitor, who stinks of turpentine. Mr Tiny Mouse! Thought he'd own a massive house. Ended up in a bed sit where he can't control the louse! Mr Horse! Though he'd go into professional sports. Now he's an alcoholic and he's on his third divorce! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the place your life becomes an endless questionnaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to die. Lower your expectations! Maybe you could get a job in telecommunications. No matter how you try you'll never reach the League of Nations. The best you'll get is middle rank in trading operations! So lower your expectations! You'll never win an oscar, so there's no congratulations. The future that is coming will not meet specifications. And no amount of visualisations will save you from your own deterioration Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the tramp who thought he'd be a multimillionaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where self-esteem goes to die. Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the disappointment that is waiting everywhere! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your schemes go to die! That's where your dreams go to die! That's where dreams go to die!
April 2022

OJ warriors

twitchquotes: Wᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏғ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴅᴇᴘᴇʀᴇssɪᴏɴ ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs. Kʀɪᴘᴘ ɪs ᴛᴇsᴛɪɴɢ ᴏᴜʀ ғᴀɪᴛʜ ʙʏ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴅ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ᴀs ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ʀᴇsᴜʟᴛ ᴏғ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴜɴʜᴏʟʏ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜ. Iᴛ ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴʏ ᴀs OJ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴘᴜᴄɪɴᴏ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴇғᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing