[Copypasta] What did you just say about my positions

twitchquotes: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my positions, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Wharton Business School, and I've been involved in numerous insider trades on Alibaba, and I have over 30,000% returns. I am trained in trading on margarine and I'm the top trader in the Bridgewater Associates. You are nothing to me but just another pump before I dump. I will wipe your gains the fuck out with swiftness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of brokers across the USA and your brokerage account is being traced right now so you better prepare for red dildos, faggot. The dildos that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call tendies. You're fucking broke, kid. I can manipulate any stock, anytime, and I can bankrupt you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my market manipulation. Not only am I extensively trained in pumping and dumping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the SEC and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable portfolio off the face of robinhood, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit red dildos all over you and you will drown in them. You're fucking broke, kiddo.
twitch chat
September 2020
I used to be a real ad
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twitchquotes: Jebaited BUSH OUTDATED Jebaited OBAMA OVERRATED Jebaited HILLARY ELIMINATED Jebaited TRUMP CONGRATULATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited NOW WE EMIGRATED Jebaited
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2016 US Election

Transcript of me cleaning my keyboard and reassembling it

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June 2021

Cinco de Mayo origin

Most people don’t know but back in 1912, Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of this delicious condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, which was to be the port for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest ever shipment on mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. This ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the tantalising condiment, and were eagerly awaiting the delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. The anguish was so great that they declared a national day of warning which they sill observe to this day. The national day of mourning occurs every year on the 5th of May, you probably know it as Cinco de Mayo
May 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing