[Copypasta] What did you just say about my positions

twitchquotes: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my positions, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Wharton Business School, and I've been involved in numerous insider trades on Alibaba, and I have over 30,000% returns. I am trained in trading on margarine and I'm the top trader in the Bridgewater Associates. You are nothing to me but just another pump before I dump. I will wipe your gains the fuck out with swiftness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of brokers across the USA and your brokerage account is being traced right now so you better prepare for red dildos, faggot. The dildos that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call tendies. You're fucking broke, kid. I can manipulate any stock, anytime, and I can bankrupt you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my market manipulation. Not only am I extensively trained in pumping and dumping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the SEC and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable portfolio off the face of robinhood, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit red dildos all over you and you will drown in them. You're fucking broke, kiddo.
twitch chat
September 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Leifman the Salt King can save the world

twitchquotes: A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Salt king, a moderator named Leifman. And although his moderating skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to save any chat. But I believe Leifman can save the world.
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The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

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Viewbot #21701 reporting for duty

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid HEY MrDestructoid KRIPP MrDestructoid VIEWBOT #21701 MrDestructoid REPORTING MrDestructoid FOR MrDestructoid DUTY MrDestructoid
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August 2015
Kripp

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Tyler can you say geodude

twitchquotes: Hey tyler, can you raise your arms and say "geodude" 3 times. Thanks!
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May 2016
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β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–’β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ
April 2017

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing