[Copypasta] What did you just say about my positions

twitchquotes: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my positions, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Wharton Business School, and I've been involved in numerous insider trades on Alibaba, and I have over 30,000% returns. I am trained in trading on margarine and I'm the top trader in the Bridgewater Associates. You are nothing to me but just another pump before I dump. I will wipe your gains the fuck out with swiftness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of brokers across the USA and your brokerage account is being traced right now so you better prepare for red dildos, faggot. The dildos that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call tendies. You're fucking broke, kid. I can manipulate any stock, anytime, and I can bankrupt you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my market manipulation. Not only am I extensively trained in pumping and dumping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the SEC and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable portfolio off the face of robinhood, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit red dildos all over you and you will drown in them. You're fucking broke, kiddo.
twitch chat
September 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Mythological Topdecking Skills

twitchquotes: Eแดœส€แด‡แด‹แด€, Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜แด€ส€ษชแด€ษด! I แด€แด Pแด‡ส€ษชแด‹สŸแด‡s Tแด‡sแด›ษชแด‹สŸแด‡s, Rแด€ษดษชแด€'s า“แด€แด›สœแด‡ส€. Wแด‡ แด€ส€แด‡ so สœแด€แด˜แด˜ส sสœแด‡ สœแด€s า“ษชษดแด€สŸสŸส า“oแดœษดแด… แด€ ส™แด‡แด€ส€แด…แด‡แด… แดแด€ษด wษชแด›สœ แดสแด›สœoสŸoษขษชcแด€สŸ แด›oแด˜แด…แด‡cแด‹ษชษดษข sแด‹ษชสŸสŸs แด€ษดแด… แด€ sษชแดขแด€ส™สŸแด‡ แดoแดœษดแด›แด€ษชษด ษขษชแด€ษดแด›! Kแดœแด…os แด›o สoแดœ แด€ษดแด… แด˜สŸs ษดo แด€ษดษขส€ส cสœษชcแด‹แด‡ษด แด›แด‡แด›ส€แด€แดขแดขษชษดo.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

Vegeta

โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–’โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€ โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ”€โ”€ โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ”€โ”€ โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–‘โ”€โ”€ โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–“ โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–’โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–“โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–’โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–‘โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’ โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–“โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ”€โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€ โ–’โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€ โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–’ โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ–ˆ โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆ โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–“โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ”€โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–“โ”€โ–’โ”€โ–’โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ–’โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–‘โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–’โ–’ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
September 2021

I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020

Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma

FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... Iโ€™ve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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