[Copypasta] Nothing is complex for me

twitchquotes: Nothing is complex for me. I figured out flat earth when everyone on the planet was either bought into the lie or supporting it. I am a borderline genius as tested at 10 years old I am sure the number would be much higher now since I have increased my intelligence over the years. I am right you are wrong, it really is as simple as that. The DEVIL is in the details.
twitch chat
July 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021

Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022

Send nudes but fancy

Pardon me Madam, but I was curious as to what you look like under those tasteful fabrics you are wearing. Perhaps you would do me the honor of removing them and photographing your perfect skin so I can gaze upon your beauty?
January 2021

Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'

twitchquotes: My favorite streamer is the Kripparrian. I often find my self watching his old vods just to stare and look at his 'salty boy' body. Any BM plays he performed really showcased his pristine hearthstone skill. Sometimes i pause the stream and masterbait numerous times. The reveal of his diablo t-shirt never ceases to excite me. Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Lightning McQueen (Cars)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣉⣁⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⡄⢲⣯⢍⠁⠄⢀⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣏⣉⣹⠿⠇⠄⠽⠿⢷⡈⠿⠇⣀⣻⣿⡿⣻ ⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⢛⡃⢉⢣⡤⠤⢄⡶⠂⠄⠐⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡦⣿⡿⠛⡇⣼ ⡿⢫⣤⣦⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠺⠿⠙⠋⠄⠄⠄⠢⢄⠄⢿⠇⠂⠧⣿ ⠁⠄⠈⠁⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⡤⠴⠖⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢠⡞⠄⣸ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⠭⠦⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣂⣿ ⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⠄⠄⢀⠈⣠⣤⣤⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠈⠑⢙⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing