[Copypasta] See you in court

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is Anne, just letting you know that the DNA test came back positive and I will be seeing you in court to get my child support. Oh and btw she is now 4 years old and asking where is daddy ***, either way see you in court..
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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Kripp please pet your cat

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, Leon Tidewellow here, CEO of PETA. My sources tell me that you haven't pet your cat in over 3 years, and thats a little too long. I'll give you 5 minutes, if you don't pet the cat then you WILL be brofisted. Have a nice day!.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

When Kripp plays Reno warrior...

twitchquotes: Captain's log, entry 69, stardate 420. It has been 9001 days since the SS Kripp first entered into this game of hearthstone, and still there appears to be no signs of release, no way out. I fear for the lives of myself and my crew, we may all pass of old age before we are freed from this particular game.
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

How did you manage to get out of jail so quickly

twitchquotes: Kripp! Its Andrew from that college party last year. Man I haven't seen you in forever! How did you manage to get out of jail so quickly after beating up that defenseless hooker?!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Finland's national anthem

twitchquotes: Finland mentioned, so here is our national anthem: Isäm maa karjala perkele sauna kirves vaimo 6-1 omakotitalo vene terva mäntysuopa suomempystykorva konepistooli karhu ilves susi kossu viina pontikka metsä kiitos 39-45 veteraani Mannerheim Juti rillaa Seppo Räty Mika Häkkinen sydänkohtaus diabetes Trixi saatana.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp
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