[Copypasta] Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

This guy's such a bad player!

twitchquotes: โ˜‘ "This guy's such a bad player!โ€ โ˜‘ โ€œYou seen my deck guys, there was nothing I could've doneโ€ โ˜‘ "How am I losing against these NOOBS" โ˜‘ โ€œThis is hearthstone guysโ€ โ˜‘ "I lost" โ˜‘ โ€œHe played like trash and got luckyโ€ โ˜‘ โ€œFUCKIN' EHโ€ โ˜‘
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

Krippis casualis

twitchquotes: Krippis casualis! oอกโ•ฎเผผ เฒ ะ”เฒ  เผฝโ•ญoอกโ”โ˜†๏พŸ.*๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พŸ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage far too small for himself. Malnourished because of his "vegan" diet, his ribs are clearly visible through his coat. He barely has the energy to move, let alone enjoy life. Yet, he knows there's hope. He knows he could draw attention to himself, as he hears Kripp constantly talking to someone. In a single act of defiance, Dex barks to draw attention to his dire situation. "Quiet, Dex" is his only reply as Kripp ignores his pleas yet again.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Kripp with sunglasses

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–’โ–„
ascii art
January 2015
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing