[Copypasta] Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Space Spam

twitchquotes: Everybody get up, it's time to spam now We got a real spam goin' down Welcome to the Space Spam Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Spam, alright Come on and spam and welcome to the spamCome on and spam, if you wanna spam
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here. I finally see that you got your vegan bitch ass to work. Remember, you're forced by contract to show off this game in all its splendor. And not only I'm paying you with a fuckton of money, but you also might get your wife back soon enough. So you better start getting some kills and play decently, or you will have to say goodbye to your midget dog. Happy gaming.
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

sellout

Kripp at Blizzcon

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, not sure if you remember me. I sat 3 rows behind you at Blizzcon 2014. I know I will never be a front row pro like you, but I want to let you know that your big head ruined me and my boyfriends experience. I know $200 might not be a lot to you, but I didn't spend $200 to watch the back of your head absorb the front part of your hairline, so next time, scoot over, k?
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hi Kripp, this is Pogo’s mom

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, this is Pogo’s mom. I noticed you haven’t been picking my son for your team in gym class. Pogo has been having a really tough time since his dad and I split up, and it doesn’t make it easy on him when you reroll and say, "We’re never taking Pogo". I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if someone said that about you. Pogo has mech synergy and can be combined into one big Pogo if you have 3! Why don’t you try being a bit more inclusive?
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Cattarrian's warning to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, Cᴀᴛᴛᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ʜᴇʀᴇ. I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴍʏ ᴄᴏɴsᴛᴀɴᴛ Mᴇᴏᴡᴇʀɪɴᴏ ɪs ᴀɴɴᴏʏɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴜᴛ I ᴀᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀʀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Sᴜᴄᴄᴜʙᴜs. Yᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ, I ᴀᴍ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴇʀ ʟᴀsᴛ BF ᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ Cᴀᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴜsɪɴɢ Bʟᴀᴄᴋ Mᴀɢɪᴄ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴᴜᴛs. Iᴛ's ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴀᴛᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛɪʟʟ sᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ. Rᴜɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ʀᴜɴ!!!
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing