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One time I was asked if I was a legs man or a breasts man, I said I was into shaved pussy and anal and now I’m "banned from KFC" and "a possible sex offender"

Dude this reminds me of this one time me and the bros were just hanging out like five of us and we all got pizza, and we were actually playing some smash too but there were five of us and so we played that game where whoever loses has to switch out with the guy who's not playing and the loser has to blow the guy who won until the next game is up, but not like in a gay way, more in just like some added stakes to win the game, but it was pretty fun tbh so I could see how being gay wouldn't be that bad at the end of the day.

SLEEP TEST 🛡️ IF YOU TOUCH THE ARMOR, GO TO SLEEP ⎝ ResidentSleeper

Quibi is shutting down. What’s the fuckin point anymore? Now what am I supposed to do when I go to a restaurant and they tell me my table won’t be ready for another eight minutes? How am I supposed to pass those eight minutes using a cell phone and internet connection without quibi exclusive content only available on quibi? Where else can i get “quick bites” of content streaming directly to my mobile phone for viewing on the go? As if 2020 wasn’t bad enough now I can’t watch any more murder house flip, the show where they renovate houses where human beings have lost their lives at the hands of their loved ones and sell those houses to rich cosmopolitan couples looking to move out of the city? What’s the point? I for one am not “content” with the current state of the “content”

Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.

Rawr~nuzzles how are you daddy? pounces on you you’re so warm. owo? notices you have a bulge. someone’s happy! nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe. rubbies your bulgy wolgy you’re so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn’t stop growing uwu kisses you and lickies your neck. do you likie? im wagging my wittle baby tail all for your bulgy wolgy! come on daddy dont keep me waiting~

"Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...

monkaS If the coronavirus touches your name ⎝ 🦠 ⎠ you’re infected. monkaS

Hello Streamer. I would like to tell you a story. I am a 44 year old women from Colombia. My babby is 14 yaer old and has ligma so he cannot play vidya games. Everi day he must roll his wheelchair to school where he is bullied because of his condition. When he comes home he has no friends to play with, so the only thing he can do is to watch your stream. Because at least then he will feel good about his life since you are so fucking bad at video games. Fucking loser. Get good.

I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.

I’ll never understand how college and NFL football teams allow kickers that just.... miss... kicks. I feel like there has to be pools of kickers in the USA that won’t miss simple kicks. Or snappers that won’t mess the snaps idk man it seems so SILLY. Would love opinions on this.

I'm significantly more attractive and more interesting than you, and so is my girlfriend. Your girlfriend is very ugly. And so are you. These are facts. Debate me.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ SPARKLE THE ✿*∗˵╰༼✪ᗜ✪༽╯˵∗*✿ SPAM AWAY (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

SPAM 🦀 THIS 🦀 CRUSTACEAN 🦀 FOR 🦀 HBOX 🦀 ELIMINATION 🦀

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ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Hear, hear. All hail Kripparrian of the House TSM, the First of His Name, The One With No Life, King of Wraeclast, Prince of the Docks, Papparrian of the First Men, Emperor of the Great Sarn Sea, Breaker of DeSync, and Father of Cattarian, RIP, First and Last of His Name. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

I AM OCTOSARI Squid4 YOU PLAY ME IN TURN 8 Squid4 I HAVE 8 ATTACK Squid4 I HAVE 8 HEALTH Squid4 I DRAW 8 CARDS Squid4 I HAVE 8 TENTACLES Squid4 MY NAME HAS 8 LETTERS Squid4 AND THERE ARE 8 TENTACLES IN THIS MESSAGE Squid4