[Copypasta] 69 nice

twitchquotes: Oh you think you’re funny eh? Yeah you’re so funny commenting nice on a number that represents reproduction. Yeah so funny. Wouldn’t it be nice if somebody came at your doorstep at 4:20 am with a bat that has 69 written on it? Yeah that will be as funny as your joke.
twitch chat
October 2020
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AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

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twitchquotes: T𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕒 𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕝 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕗𝕠𝕟𝕥. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕔𝕠𝕡𝕪 𝕚𝕥. 𝔾𝕠 𝕒𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕, 𝕥𝕣𝕪.
twitch chat
December 2017

Are you really shitting on Pokémon Unite bro?

Are you really shitting on Pokémon Unite bro? That’s pretty fucking cringe. This is a highly skilled game that requires teamwork. Communication. Hard work. Blood. Sweat. Tears. If your puny mind fails to see this game is all about skill then just go back to playing baby ass LoL you fucking pleb.
July 2021

DJ

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ascii art
January 2024

Reynad became his final form, the Reynoodle

twitchquotes: Reynad layed in his bed. Something just wasnt right. He felt cold and uncomfortable. He needed something, but what? He went out to the kitchen to see if he could find something to do the trick. On the top shelf he found it. He laid back in bed and poured the spaghetti sauce all over his noodle body to keep warm for the night. Reynad became his final form, the Reynoodle. EleGiggle
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad
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