[Copypasta] Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro

I was driving with a friend I grab his leg instead of the gearstick We both laugh and I unzip his pants I park the car while fondling with his balls, my friend is laughing because he knows it's a joke and we're just friends I start sucking his dick and was about to choke on it because I'm laughing so hard My friend is also laughing his ass off, he starts making train noise while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO" He then cums and then I swallow it all and kiss him while both laughing cuz we know it's a joke. Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro.
May 2022
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What could possibly be that washed up?

twitchquotes: Hey QT, my family just got back from Hawaii. We noticed this obese life form washed up on shore. We walked over to see what could possibly be that washed up. My brother poked it with a stick and it twitched and said "wow that actually fuckin killed me" wonder what it could be?
twitch chat
June 2019
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020

Albanian virus

twitchquotes: Hi, I am an Albanian virus but because of poor technology in my country unfortunately I am not able to harm your computer. Please be so kind to delete one of your important files yourself and then forward me other users. Many thanks for your cooperation! Best regards, Albanian virus
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS (text)

โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ€โ€โ€โ€โ€
ascii art
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Byron, you have such a beautiful smile

twitchquotes: Byron, you have such a beautiful smile, luscious lips, smooth skin, gorgeous bald spot and an amazing STICC body, can I eat your ass? :)
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful
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