[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Crying laughing hands on face emoji (ICANT emote)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⡯⠝⠛⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠛⠫⢽⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⠗⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣎⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠠⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢯⢿⣿ ⡿⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠰⠶⣶⣤⣌⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠤⡀⠀⠀⠑⢔⠒⠢⢄⠀⠈⢎⢿ ⣷⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠉⠁⠐⠠⢀⠀⠈⠐⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠢⠀⠘⣿ ⡾⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠊⡲⠤⠄⡀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⢿ ⡇⠀⢀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣁⠀⠦⣀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⢸ ⢧⡰⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣌⠀⠉⠙⠳⠦⣭⣔⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⡾ ⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠈⠙⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⢿ ⣇⣇⠀⠀⡰⠃⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣈⡑⢠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸ ⣿⣿⣧⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢺ ⣿⣿⣿⣽⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⢸⡇⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣒⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⢤⣼⣳⣯⣿⣷⣿⣤⣯⣾⣿⣿
December 2021

PepeClown

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡠⠤⠄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠄⠒⠒⠒⠂⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠈⠳⠤⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⢖⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣛⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢥⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣾⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⠽⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣧⣄⡈⠛⠛⠛⣛⣛⣳⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀ ⠀⠘⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⣀⣠⠤⠤⣤⣖⡺⢟⣩⠥⢒⡊⠭⠭⠝⢑⣒⠲⠤⢭⢖⣪⠭⠜⠓⢒⣒⠒⠒⢒⣛⢷⣄⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣠⠞⠉⢀⣤⣿⡭⠷⡺⠚⠉⢩⣾⣩⡿⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠲⡠⠒⠁⠀⣴⣈⡿⠷⣦⠀⠈⠈⠙⠻⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡭⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠘⠓⠒⠲⡉⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣬⣷⣶⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⣿⣶⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠓⣿⠶⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠂⠀⠈⠑⠠⢀⠈⢛⣿⣿⠛⠋⣀⡀⣀⠠⠐⠂⠀⢀⣀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣍⡀⠤⠤⠒⢊⡍⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢠⣄⣤⣾⣿⣷⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⡎⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡤⠤⠶⠦⢤⣤⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣤⢶⠛⠁⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣅⡀⠐⠦⣤⣤⣀⣈⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⠴⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠳⠶⢤⣄⣉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠉⠁⣀⣴⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠒⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠶⠒⠋⠉⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠙⠦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠑⠒⠦⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠤⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⠴⠚⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠒⠦⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⡤⠒⠒⢢⠖⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠩⠇⠀⠀⠀⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠜⠒⠤⠀⠐⠒⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡄
July 2021

Pepe

Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018

Professor Utonium

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September 2021

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

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