[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
I used to be a real ad
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PepePls

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Pepe

I'm the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on

Hi (name), I'm the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on. On behalf of the owner, the staff team and myself, I would like to personally extend my thanks to you for the $1,000 you forked up to help keep our server alive! Our modeler is happily working on the custom pony character that came with the donor package, however I regret to inform you that we don't currently have a way to send you the 20" "horse shaft" you requested but our team is working on it. Once again, thank you sincerely for the donation, and we hope to see you back on the server soon. Best Regards, PinkieCraft Server Manager "Keep on clopping."
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YoDa

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣿⣴⠈⠉⠁⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠁⠉⢿⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⡀⠀⠑⡀⠘⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡀⣄⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⡿⠛⠉⠛⠿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠿⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢠⣦⠀⡉⣑⣤⣿⣇⢀⠛⣠⢀⣆⠀⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣶⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⣤⠠⣤⠤⣠⣿⠏⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠹⣿⣶⣶⣶⣴⠟⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠅⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿
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YoDa

Am I racist? (serious)

Hello r/blacklivesmatter. I have a question. So before I explain what happened, lemme just say this. I’m white (oppressor) and I’m very bad because I’m white. I recently was texting my friend (also oppressor) and was using some emojis to convey what I was saying. I generally use the default skin toned emojis which are a bright yellow color. One day though, my finger slipped and I accidentally used one of the darker skin toned 🖐 emoji. After realizing the horrible act of racism I’d just committed, I immediately deleted the reply as it had been rooted in racism and there’s no excuse for that. I then profusely apologized over Instagram messages to all of my accomplices, friends and acquaintances of color. A majority of them had responses that said that what happened was completely fine but I realized their opinion was probably white washed because of me (oppressor) and other white people (domestic terrorists/oppressors). So now I ask, am I racist because of this?
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So I’m an AMC shareholder

So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
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WallStreetBets

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