[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife? Okay, little background. My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald. My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through. Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation. My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole. What do you think?
April 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Will Smith Slap

Trying to study the psyche of Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: I Stayed up for months, trying to study the psyche of twitch chat, i reached insanity and couldnt come up with anything, but along the road i stumbled upon a far greater discovery, i found out that indeed, Kripp, IS BabyRage Never Lucky BabyRage
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

neverlucky

forsenWut

⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦ ⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣛ ⣤⠶⢒⣒⣒⣲⣤⣷⣮⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣸⣿⣿⠟⣋⣭⣭⣤⣤⣭⣙⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠁⠈⠉⠍⡉⡙⠛⠻⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⢠⣴⠄⣠⠄⠉⠉⠛⢦⡙⢿ ⣦⣤⣙⣚⢓⣛⣋⠤⠜⢱⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⣬⣍⠙⠉⢐⣀⣀⣤⡴⠛⣨ ⣦⣭⣍⣉⣉⣭⣴⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣛⣛⠛⠘⣿⣿⣟⣙⠛⣛⢛⣉⣀⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣼⣿⠋⣼⡿⠿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠙⠛⠃⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⡿⠋⠘⠛⢿⣦⣿⣧⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⣸⣿⡏⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣷⣦⣄⠉ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡏⣰ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣸⣿ ⠄⠘⠁⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣧⡤⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢰⣿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⣀⣀⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠿⠈⠋ ⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Called my overweight female friend a heckin chonker today and now she won’t talk to me

My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying “maybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.
August 2021

Ben Brode increased Kripp's odds for going second

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Ben Brode here. After checking your account, we noticed that your odds for going second were accidentally set to "60" % instead of "50"%. We apologize for the inconvenience, as this change was mean to be applied to a "reynad" account. The issue is on our radar, and we will patch it when we can. Thank you and have a good day!
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing