[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Happy toilet paper

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠔⠒⠒⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⡼⢿⣷⡝⡄⢨⣿⣯⡑⡄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⣷⣾⣿⢃⠇⠸⣬⣿⡇⠇⡇⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⠈⢻⠟⠁⠀⠈⠛⠿⠝⠃⠸⡀⠀⠀⠣⣀⡠⠎⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣗⢀⠠⠤⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡙⢢⢀⣠⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡍⢻⠙⠲⠶⠶⠖⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⢷⣤⣬⣍⣱⣶⣶⠖⠉⠹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠢⢏⣐⣋⣩⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠉⠀⠒⠂⠀⠤⠄⢀⡀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠒⠉⠉⠙⢧⣀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⠙⠢⠤⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
November 2020

Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks

Let’s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts don’t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
September 2020

Ben Shapiro

I use this chant to summon Sneaky

twitchquotes: ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆・゚ My di ck is small, my butthole is leaky, I use this chant to summon Sneaky ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆・゚
twitch chat
March 2016
Sneaky

Daddy, are the Spammers gone?

twitchquotes: ┻┳| •.•) Daddy, are the Spammers Gone? ┻┳|(҂`_´) ,︻╦╤─ ҉ NOPE,SON GET BACK IN YOUR BEDROOM
twitch chat
February 2016
Riot Games

For people that use "XD"

twitchquotes: But the real question is, when this musing entered your mind, did you really make such a face? Was it so funny that your face contorted into a gaping wide-mouthed smile as your eyes aggressively squinted shut? Did you truly "ex dee"? Were you able to see your screen as you typed with your eyes held steadfast as though they were steel vice grips clamping with hundreds of pounds of force?
twitch chat
February 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing