[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Domo Kun

─────────▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄───────── ───────▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄─────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„ β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β–„β–€β–’β– β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β– β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€ β”€β”€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β–β–’β–’β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–β–„β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–„β–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–„β–€β–€β–„β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ───────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀───────
ascii art
September 2021

Hearthstone cardback

β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–€β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆ
ascii art
July 2015

Hearthstone

πŸŽ„πŸŽ„MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHESπŸŽ„πŸŽ„!!

πŸŽ„πŸŽ„MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHESπŸŽ„πŸŽ„!! Now that it’s finally DICKmas πŸ‘…πŸ’¦Santa’s about to slide πŸŽ…πŸΎπŸ˜‰ down your hot πŸ”₯ hot πŸ”₯chimney tonight. So lick πŸ’¦πŸ’‹those juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnog🍼, it’s about to get wet down at Santa’s workshopπŸ†πŸ†! Don’t forgot to slide down that XXXtra πŸŽ…πŸΎπŸŽ…πŸΎ big North Pole, and make sure your πŸͺ cookie πŸͺis yummy enough for Santa to eatπŸ‘„! πŸ‘€ But are you bad enough to handle Santa’s giant juicy 8=candyπŸ‘ŠπŸΌCOCK=DπŸ’¦?? Send this to πŸ”Ÿ of your baddest bitch elvesπŸ’πŸΌπŸ’πŸΎ If you get 5️⃣ back, youre on the naughty list this yearπŸ†πŸ’¦! If you get πŸ”Ÿ back you better be ready for Santa’s hot ♨️CUMlateβ˜•οΈπŸ’¦πŸ˜­ If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you’ve got the most bitchin 🍬peppermint 🍬pussy in the North Pole! ❄️⛄ Hope you get to blow 🌬 lots of XXXmas πŸŽ„dick, and that you get lots of XXXmas πŸŽ„CUMMIES πŸ’πŸ’ HAVE A SLUTTY πŸ’¦πŸ†πŸ‘…DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! πŸŽ…πŸΎπŸŽ…πŸΏπŸŽ…πŸ½πŸŽ…πŸΌ
April 2022

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day

Happy PresiDICK’S πŸ†πŸŒπŸŒ½ DAY‼️ Time ⏰⏰ to honor the DADDIES πŸ‘¬πŸ‘¬ of our nation πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ George SLUTsington πŸ‘―πŸ‘―, Benjamin SPANKlinπŸ‘‹πŸ‘, John HanCOCK πŸ†πŸŒ½πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ These POUNDING πŸ”¨βš’ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their πŸ˜»πŸ“ƒCUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌for LADY LIBERTY πŸ—½πŸ‘…πŸ™€ Raise that ASS πŸ‘ to πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ Abraham LinCUM πŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 🌲 WOODrow Wilson πŸ˜πŸŒ²πŸ˜‰, Bill CLIT-on πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ˆ, and the CUMmander in chief, πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€BarCOCK Obama πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€ Don’t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE πŸ‘€πŸ˜© DICKlared war πŸ”«πŸ’£ on those CUMMIES πŸ’¦πŸ’‚πŸ’‚ Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you won’t be pounding πŸ”¨that presidential PUSSY πŸ™€πŸ™€ Get 5️⃣ back and ur a White House HOE 🏠 Get πŸ”Ÿ back and ur the SUCKretary of state πŸ“”πŸ˜™πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
February 2024

President's Day

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

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