[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
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More Copypastas

My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Here in my garage with my pasta linguini

twitchquotes: Here in my garage with my pasta linguini, but you know what I like more than pasta linguini? Macaroni. That's why I bought 7 new cupboards and filled them with over 2,000 new Kraft macaroni and cheese boxes. It's like the master chef Betty Crocker said, "the more you eat, the more you pasta."
twitch chat
March 2016
strifecro

Cat anime girl

⣿⡟⠙⠛⠋⠩⠭⣉⡛⢛⠫⠭⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠖⠋⣀⡤⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⡭⠭⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⣞⣡⠴⠚⠁⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⡴⠁⡜⣵⢗⢀⠄⢠⡔⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⡜⠄⡜⠄⠄⠄⠉⣠⠋⠠⠄⢀⡄⠄⠄⣠⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⠸⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⣀⣠⣬⣭⣛⠄⠁⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿ ⣏⠄⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⢀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣸⠈⠄⠄⠰⠾⠴⢾⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⣾⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠄⠆⠄⣦⣶⣦⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣋⣀⣈⠙⠛⡛⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡆⢀⣈⣉⢉⣿⣿⣯⣄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⡜⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣧⣽⣍⣾⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⢿⣿ ⣿⡿⠰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠩⠔⠒⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠘⣿ ⣿⠃⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢀⠄⠄⡀⡀⢀⣤⣴⣤⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⢹
November 2020

Weebs

Daniel Craig Cock And Ball Torture

As Daniel Craig says goodbye to the role of James Bond, let us revisit one of the greatest films in the series. Casino Royale (2006) Daniel Craig receiving some intense cock and ball torture at the hands of Mads Mikkelsen has to be my favourite scene from any Bond film. Right next to the opening of Skyfall. How appropriate is it that a character who has been the face of masculinity for half a century, nearly gets emasculated by someone who possesses none of that virility. Le Chiffre (played by Mikkelsen) is in many ways the opposite of Bond. He lacks the vigour, sex appeal, and chivalry of 007. When a warlord threatens to cut off his girlfriend’s arm, Le Chiffre, out of fear does not object, to which even the warlord comments that she should find a better boyfriend. He suffers from Asthma and Haemolacria (Acute Haemolacria tends to occur in fertile women because of hormones). He even comments during the c and b torture session that he desires to ruin the body that Bond has taken such good care of (There is a hint of jealousy in his voice as he says this). And yet, it is Bond who is strapped to the chair. The camera zooming in on his grimacing face at every strike to his manhood. This castration is also a symbolic one. The weakness and decline of the British empire is a key theme that is explored throughout the Craig Bond films. The idea that the CIA had to donate money to Bond so he could beat a man at a game of Poker, and yet still end up at the mercy of this traditionally impotent individual who is unaffiliated with any country, and has amassed all his power through his ability to control money — paints a damning picture of the power of modern day Britain. And it says a lot about what power really means in our modern world. The opening theme by Chris Cornell is truly remarkable, and some of the action sequences here are the series’ most memorable. For me, this is the greatest Bond film ever. As the man himself says goodbye to the role with the release of No Time To Die, it must be said that no one has embodied the character of James Bond and humanized him quite like Craig has. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Casino Royale. The ice-cold blue eyes that occasionally hint at soft vulnerability, will truly be missed. Daniel Craig can walk away with pride knowing he has been the greatest ever to play such an icon.
December 2021

AITA for wanting to play Fortnite?

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?
March 2021

Fortnite

Am I The Asshole?

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