[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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When Kripp gets topdecked, it's seen as a bit of salty fun

twitchquotes: When Kripp gets topdecked, it's seen as a bit of salty fun. BUT when Reynad gets a 420 YOLO Rag Pro 5000 hit to the face with 6 different minions on the board, lethal next turn, together with top-deck skill command with one mana webspinner, he's called Salt God?
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My wife told me to talk dirty to her

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut. She said “dirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is. She said “dirtier!” So I said “I’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.” She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
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⡿⡿⣻⢿⢿⢿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠍⠊⠌⠌⠌⠂⠊⠄⠂⠙⠿⠻⡻⠻⢛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢿⢿⢿⣻ ⣗⡽⡮⡷⣽⣺⣽⣿⣾⠟⠈⠄⠄⡀⢁⠂⢘⠈⡈⡠⠁⠄⢀⠘⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⠳⠻⣯⣿⣽⣞⣵⡳ ⣗⢯⢫⢯⣷⡿⣽⠏⡁⠁⠄⠄⠄⢄⠅⠐⡂⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠐⡑⠄⠌⡄⠅⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣻⣾⣳⢯ ⣿⡴⣤⠅⢓⢹⢜⠁⡀⠄⠄⡡⠈⠂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠘⢀⠄⠄⡀⠄⠠⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣟ ⠿⢿⠻⢝⣿⡿⢢⢁⢀⢑⠌⠄⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣰⣴⣴⣬⣄⣀⠂⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢟⣿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⣸⣾⣛⢈⠄⢸⠐⠄⠨⠄⠄⠄⡀⣜⣞⣾⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⢴⢼⣐⢬⠠⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⠋⣀⣵⣿⣽⡇⢃⢘⠜⠅⠈⠄⠄⢀⢔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⢾⢿⣳⢷⢿⡯⣷⣿⡌⠄⠄⠨⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿ ⠄⣿⣿⡟⣾⠇⢠⠧⠁⠄⠄⡀⠄⣰⣿⣿⣯⡏⣯⢿⢽⡹⣏⢿⡺⡱⢑⠽⡹⡺⣜⢄⠅⠄⠈⡀⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣾⣻⢳⣝⡯⢡⢹⣇⠄⠐⠄⠄⢠⣺⣿⣿⣿⢾⣿⢽⡵⣽⡺⣝⢎⢎⢶⢕⢌⢭⢣⢑⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⠧⢃⡳⠉⡈⢮⠃⠄⠄⠇⠄⣔⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣯⣯⢿⢼⡪⡎⡯⡝⢵⣓⢱⢱⡱⡪⡂⠄⠐⠄⠂⠄⠰⣿ ⡿⢡⢪⠄⢰⠨⣿⠁⢈⣸⠄⠄⢿⢿⣻⢿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣮⢮⣯⣾⡵⣪⡪⡱⣹⣪⡂⠄⠄⢈⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣈⡖⡅⠄⢪⢴⢊⠁⢐⢸⠄⠄⡨⡢⡈⠈⠉⠻⢟⣷⡿⣟⢗⣽⡷⣿⢯⣞⣕⣧⣷⡳⠅⠄⠅⢐⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⡣⡟⠜⠸⡁⣷⠁⠄⢅⢸⡀⠄⠄⠈⡀⠥⠄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠐⣷⡳⠙⠕⠩⠘⠁⠃⠁⠄⠄⠄⡂⢆⠄⠄⠄⣸ ⣻⠍⠄⢣⣣⠏⠠⠐⠌⣪⠃⡐⢔⢌⡛⡎⡢⠄⢀⢄⢠⣳⣿⡎⠄⠄⢀⠤⠄⡈⠌⠊⠄⢀⠘⠨⠄⠄⠄⢸ ⠑⠠⢂⢮⡳⠠⠂⠁⡅⡯⠐⢨⡺⡌⡯⡪⣞⣼⣵⡧⣟⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄⠐⡢⣒⢆⢐⢠⠁⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⢻ ⢅⢢⠫⡫⠙⠨⠄⣃⢎⡗⢈⠰⠸⡸⡸⣝⣿⣿⡗⡽⣽⣿⣿⣿⠄⢐⣔⢽⣼⣗⣷⢱⠁⠄⠅⠁⠐⠄⠄⢾ ⡵⣰⠏⡐⠱⡑⢨⡬⢻⡕⠐⠈⡪⡣⡳⡱⡳⠱⢍⣳⢳⣿⣿⣿⠄⢐⢵⢻⣳⣟⢎⠪⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⡷⠁⡀⠄⠨⢂⣸⢉⠆⢑⠌⢠⢣⢏⢜⠜⡀⡤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠠⠄⠨⡗⡧⡳⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⢖⠠⠄⢰⠁⢴⣃⠞⠄⠕⣈⣺⣵⡫⡢⣕⣷⣷⡀⠄⡈⢟⠝⠈⢉⡢⡕⡭⣇⠣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⢻⡐⢔⢠⠪⡌⢌⠆⠐⢐⢨⣾⣷⡙⠌⠊⠕⠁⠄⠊⡀⠄⠠⠄⠡⠁⠓⡝⡜⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⡀⠄⣿ ⠘⢨⢪⠼⠘⠅⠄⠂⠄⡀⢻⣿⣇⠃⠑⠄⠒⠁⢂⠑⡔⠄⠌⡐⠄⠂⠠⢰⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣡⢱⣶⣿ ⢢⢂⠫⡪⣊⠄⠣⡂⠂⡀⠨⠹⡐⣜⡾⡯⡯⢷⢶⢶⠶⣖⢦⢢⢪⠢⡂⡇⠅⠄⠄⠈⠄⢰⠡⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢑⠄⠧⣟⡎⢆⡃⡊⠔⢀⠄⠈⣮⢟⡽⣿⣝⡆⠅⠐⡁⠐⠔⣀⢣⢑⠐⠁⡐⠈⡀⢐⠁⠄⠈⠃⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⢑⠁⢮⣾⡎⢰⢐⠈⢌⢂⠐⡀⠂⡝⡽⣟⣿⣽⡪⢢⠂⡨⢪⠸⠨⢀⠂⡁⢀⠂⠄⢂⢊⠖⢄⠄⢀⢨⠉⠛ ⡰⢺⣾⡗⠄⡜⢔⠡⢊⠢⢅⢀⠑⠨⡪⠩⠣⠃⠜⡈⡐⡈⡊⡈⡐⢄⠣⢀⠂⡂⡁⢂⠄⢱⢨⠝⠄⠄⠄⠄
February 2021

Troll face 2

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May 2021

A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
February 2021
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