[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Never lucky veganism

twitchquotes: In a new study scientists aimed to find the origin of luck by studying an internet celebrity known as Kripparian, famous for playing a children's card game for thousands to watch, after inumerous claims of being "never lucky" while playing said game. The scientists eventually isolated a single variable known only to this particular individual: veganism. While it might yet be soon to draw any conclusions, scientists seem to agree that a meat-rich diet is indeed the cure for "never lucky".
twitch chat
April 2018
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Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer

twitchquotes: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) OVERCONFIDENCE IS A SLOW AND INSIDIOUS KILLER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2015

Classic

Pog googly eyes

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣭⣼⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀ ⡆⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣧⡉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣿⣮⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⣾ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⢼⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣀⣀⠄⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣇⠈⢿⣿⡟⢁⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠠⣿⡆⠄⠄⠘⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠩⠿⠍⠙⠻⠈⠉⣰⣿⣿⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣷⣶⣷⣦⣼⣻⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣒⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⡯⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2020

Kripp

░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▓▓▓▄▄▄░░░░░ ░░░░▄▄▓▀▀▀▀▀▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▄░░░ ░░▄▄▓▀▀░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▀▓▄░ ░▐▓▓▌░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▓▌ ░▐▓▒░░▄▒▒▓▄▄▒▒▒░▒▄▄▄▒▒▓ ░▓▓▌░░░░░▒▒▒▒▀▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ░▐▓░░░░▒▒▓▓▓░░░▒▓▓▓▓▓▒▓ ░▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ░▄░░░░░░░▒▒░▄▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▌ ░▀░░░░░▒▒▒▒▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▌ ░░▐░░░░░▒▓▓▀▀▓▓▓▓█▓▓▒▒▌ ░░░▒▒▒▒░▒░░░▒▓▓▓▓▒▓▓▓▓░ ░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌░ ░▄▄▓▓▒▓▄▓▓▓▓██████▓▓▀▒▄
November 2014
Kripp

Running dog

┈┈┈┈╱▏┈┈┈┈┈╱▔▔▔▔╲┈┈┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈▏▏┈┈┈┈┈▏╲▕▋▕▋▏┈┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈╲╲┈┈┈┈┈▏┈▏┈▔▔▔▆┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈┈╲▔▔▔▔▔╲╱┈╰┳┳┳╯┈┈┈ ┈┈╱╲╱╲▏┈┈┈┈┈┈▕▔╰━╯┈┈┈┈ ┈┈▔╲╲╱╱▔╱▔▔╲╲╲╲┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈╲╱╲╱┈┈┈┈╲╲▂╲▂┈┈┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╲╱╲╱┈┈┈┈┈
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing