twitchquotes:
if you can affirm something you've eaten that I haven't then I'll sub. I'll give you 3 chances to make it fair since i'm gourmet god PS: Don't waste a guess on "dick". 
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More Copypastas
Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial
twitchquotes:
Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
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Octavian, this is Brian Weiss with Grinding Gear Games
twitchquotes:
Octavian, this is Brian Weiss with Grinding Gear Games. We understand there was an issue with our last financial restructuring that inadvertently canceled the auto-pay into your account. We've gone ahead and rectified the issue, as well as forwarding an additional 10% as an apology. We look forward to your updated commentary regarding our latest content expansion for Path of Exile.
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Kripp
sellout
You are such a large pepperoni, why aren't you a pizza
twitchquotes:
"Kripp my son," say the Papparin, "you are such a large pepperoni, why aren't you a pizza." But the Kripp don't respond. He elopes to Greece and runs his hand through his unshaven face scruff and say "Well met!" to the twisted Succubus. Alone in his heart, Papparin commits sudoku at a Starbucks in San Bernardino with Al Pacino, no cappucino.
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Kripp
Stop the Rick and Morty copypastas
twitchquotes:
Just shut the fuck up. This copypasta was never even funny to begin with. I've never even seen the show, and it was obviously a joke. What kind of idiot do you have to be to think that was ever said seriously? But it makes fun of something which is popular, and therefore popular to shit on among the contrarians on Reddit. Come on, really. I actually do have to wonder about the IQs of people who like that pretentious copypasta. You know, I sometimes can't help but superiorly smirk as I imagine their dumb faces struggling to understand words on a mere internet webpage. In fact, I sometimes find myself in paroxysms of ironic Schadenfreude as I envision the visages of the aforementioned Slow-in-the-minds waging war with the Cultural Artifact they proclaim to be analyzing, only to fall, slack-jawed, back into their insensate stupor, the proverbial Undiscovered Country, "from whose bourn no traveler returns" .
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Rick and Morty
It was a real life gamer girl
So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. “fuck, Fuck!” I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. “Please,” I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?