twitchquotes:
if you can affirm something you've eaten that I haven't then I'll sub. I'll give you 3 chances to make it fair since i'm gourmet god PS: Don't waste a guess on "dick". 
twitch chat
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xQcOW
Discord made me racist
Last time when I was 9 years old, my 29 years old roblox friend told me to download an app called discord.
So after using discord for 3 years, I found multiple racist servers that I joined. They all send nazi and geroge floyd.
They say n word and shit and now I say the n word too. I think saying n word is so funny. I say heil hitler too 😂😂😂
Everytime I post gore, me and the boys can’t stop laughing. We jack off to fortnite sex too.
I am now racist and a nazi 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Discord
Wanna buy some dongers?
twitchquotes:
༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴ Psst… Moderator, you wanna buy some dongers?
twitch chat
How I got into Harvard
Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview.
As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. 
Rick and Morty
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AgonTFT