[Copypasta] i'm a gourmet god

twitchquotes: if you can affirm something you've eaten that I haven't then I'll sub. I'll give you 3 chances to make it fair since i'm gourmet god PS: Don't waste a guess on "dick". ;)
twitch chat
July 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Jacking Off Emoji

November 2021

NSFW

Emoji Pasta

Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020

Mew

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January 2022

Pokemon

Rainbow Dash

β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–€ β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“ β–“β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▓░░░░░░░▐▄░▓▓▓▓▓▓ β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“
November 2014

LCS, aka "Literally Cannot Sidelane"

twitchquotes: LCS, aka "Literally Cannot Sidelane", is Riot's premier Wildcard region held in the saltiest continent and denoted as such, NA. It is ridiculed for its poor international performance and macro, favouring the "NARAM" style.
twitch chat
February 2020
LCS

League of Legends

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