[Copypasta] i'm a gourmet god

twitchquotes: if you can affirm something you've eaten that I haven't then I'll sub. I'll give you 3 chances to make it fair since i'm gourmet god PS: Don't waste a guess on "dick". ;)
twitch chat
July 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020

GlitchCat

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠉⡙⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⣚⡯⠴⢬⣱⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⣷⡌⢲⣄⡑⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⢋⠔⣨⣴⣿⣷⡌⠇⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢹⣿⣿⣄⢻⣿⣷⣝⠷⢤⣤⣤⡶⢋⣴⣑⠟⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡀⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸⣿⡄⢁⣸⣿⣋⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣟⡁⠚⣿⣿⡇⡇⠀ ⢀⣠⡤⠤⠾⡘⠋⢀⣘⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⢭⣭⣭⣭⣍⠉⢩⣭⠉⠉⠂⠙⠛⠃⣇⡀ ⠏⠀⠀⢿⣿⣷⡀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱ ⣦⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢻⡄⠀⠀⠘⠛⠉⠂⠀⠙⠁⠀⣼⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠙⠀⠘⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟ ⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣏⠀ ⠀⠀⠛⢶⢰⣶⢢⣤⣤⣄⠲⣶⠖⠀⣙⣀⠀⠀⠀⠤⢤⣀⣀⡀⣀⣠⣾⠟⡌⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠀⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⠸⠟⣡⣤⡳⢦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⣙⡿⢷⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢡⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⢁⡟⣫⣶⣍⡙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣽⡖⣉⣠⣶⣶⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⢡⢎⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢠⠖⢁⣴⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿
October 2021

Y U NO 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⠴⠶⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠤⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠚⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠉⢙⠲⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⡆⠈⡀⠀⠉⠓⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠃⠀⠘⠀⡠⠀⢀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⢍⠢⠑⣦⣀⠀⠡⡄⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⢾⡗⡀⠁⠀⢘⣀⠀⢀⠀⡐⡞⢉⣀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠐⠆⠀⠁⠄⠃⠉⠄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⢀⣤⡌⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠉⠁⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠉⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠐⡦⠄⠀⠀⠀⠠⢂⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠉⠃⠀⠀⢌⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠈⠑⡄⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣤⣴⠆⠀⠘⠓⠶⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠝⠁⠠⠄⢤⣄⡈⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⣈⣄⡐⠠⢄⢂⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠚⠉⠋⢋⡋⢷⠤⡎⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠄⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠛⠁⠈⠛⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠂⢀⡀⠈⠀⠁⠁⠒⠂⠀⠊⢃⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠋⠀⠐⢦⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢦⣄⣀⡠⠈⠀⠀⠈⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡼⠞⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠒⠒⠒⣲⠖⠒⠒⠒⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠙⠦⡀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠄⣜⡰⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⠀⠀⠀⢈⡢⣤⢤⣇⡤⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⣠⠤⠄⡴⠓⠒⠒⠂⠉⠁⠀⠈⠣⡈⠁⣈⠄⠊⠁
January 2021

Real hardcore gamers play at least 4 games at a time

twitchquotes: 2 games at the same time? filthy casual. real hardcore gamers play at least 4 games with one hand tied behind their back. seriously kripp, if you want to keep your viewers you better step it up. sincerely, a soon to be ex-kripplet
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Gaping Butthole OmegaLUL

July 2022
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