[Copypasta] i'm a gourmet god

twitchquotes: if you can affirm something you've eaten that I haven't then I'll sub. I'll give you 3 chances to make it fair since i'm gourmet god PS: Don't waste a guess on "dick". ;)
twitch chat
July 2019
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Sadge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⣉⣉⠙⠿⠋⣠⢴⣊⣙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⢀⠔⡩⠔⠒⠛⠧⣾⠊⢁⣀⣀⣀⡙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡡⠊⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣌⣾⣿⠏⠀⡈⢿⡜ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⣤⣶⠏⢁⠈⢻⡏⠙⠛⠀⣀⣁⣤⢢ ⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣄⡀⠣⣌⡙⠀⣘⡁⠜⠈⠑⢮⡭⠴⠚⠉⠀ ⠁⠀⢀⠔⠁⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢀⣠⢠ ⡀⠀⢸⠀⢼⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣭⣟⣛⣛⡿⠷⠶⠶⢶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣾⡿⠿⣫⣾ ⠇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⢗⣿⣿ ⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Greggnog

First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem. Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it. Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up." I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight. He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
December 2020

Classic

Jacking Off Emoji

November 2021

NSFW

Emoji Pasta

Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto and I am begging you to stop drinking so much OJ. Since you became popular on the Twitch our sales have decreased by over 69% because Canadians want to be like you. For *** sake please drink some apple juice! If you continue drinking OJ, I wont be able to feed my family anymore
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

So you're going by "c9Sneaky" now nerd?

twitchquotes: So you're going by "c9Sneaky" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Antwan250 the boy you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic
twitch chat
April 2018
Sneaky

Tanner from High School

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