[Copypasta] A reply to 'k'

K? K what? The letter before L? The letter after J? Did you know that in JK the K stands for “kidding?” So your reply is “kidding?” or K as in Potassium? Do you need some Special K for breakfast? K as in I can K/O you? Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks? Sharks have a K in it. "K"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "K"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is "K" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "K" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "K" on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? "Hey, look, everybody! It's that "K" guy!" That's who you are. You're going to be known as the "K" guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said "K".
April 2021
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Naxx beta key on Kripp's Pornhub profile

twitchquotes: NAXX BETA OUT Iɴғᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ғʀᴇᴇ Nᴀxx ᴋᴇʏ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ's ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ ᴘʀᴏғɪʟᴇ (ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜʟɪɢʜᴛᴇᴅ ᴄᴀᴛ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ). Gᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ǫᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ɢᴏɴᴇ, ᴏɴʟʏ 463 ɴᴀxx ᴋᴇʏs ʟᴇғᴛ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Helicopter just dropped down to say

damn this shit crazy dawg but ▬▬▬▬▬.◙.▬▬▬▬▬ ▂▄▄▓▄▄▂ ◢◤█▀▀████▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◢◤ █▄ █ █▄ ███▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ╬ ◥ █████ ◤ ══╩══╩═ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ just dropped down to say ╬═╬ ╬═╬ You hella gay, no cap ╬═╬ ☻/ ╬═╬ /▌ ╬═╬ / \
December 2020

Y U NO

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄█▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄█▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀█▄▄░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄█▀░░░░░░▄▄▄░░░░░░░░▄▀█▄░░░ ░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▄░░░░▄▀▀░░░█▄░ ░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░▄█▀▀▀█▄░▄█▀▀▀█▄░▀▄ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░██░▀░██░██░▀░██░░█ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▀█████▀░▀█████▀░░█ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░█░░░░░█ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██▀▀▀▀█░░░░█ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░▄▀▄▄▄▀░░░░█ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▀▀▀▀▄░░░░░█ ░░░░░█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▄█▄█▄█░░░░░█ ░░░░░░█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀█████▀░░░░▄▀ ░░░░░░▄█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▀░ ░░░░▄█▀▄░░▀▄▄░░▄▄░░░░░░░▀▀▀▄▄▀▀░░░ ░░▄█▀░░░▀▄░░░▀▀▀██▄▄▄▄▄▄█▀▀░░░░▄▄░ ▄▀░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░▄█▀▄░▄▄▄░░░░▀██▀ ▀░░░░░░░░░░█▄░░░░▄█▄▄▄█████▄▄▄▀▀░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀█▀▀▀▀▀░▀██▀░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
December 2020

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you? 💦😉 🧻Corona🤧 is CUMMING💦 for us and you’ve just tested 😱positive🦠 for being 💋NAUGHTY😉 🙅‍♀️Social distancing is in effect🚫 and I want to spend my 🤷‍♂️quarenTEEN🔞 with YOU 😍 So grab your 🧴isopropyl-lubricant 💦 and CUM👅 over so I can administer👩‍⚕️ your treatment😉 and inject💉 you with the vaccine🍆 We’ll spend the 🗝lockdown🔒 flattening the curve📉 and FATTENING DEM’ 👏🏿 CURVES 🍑 Get ready for 14 days of 💯THICC DICC DIAGNOSTICS😭 and sitting on my facemask😷 Send this ✉️ to covid-19 of your sloppiest 💦💦SYMPTOMATIC🤒 SLUTS🤫 If you get 5 back, you’re a Wuhan bat🦇 bitch 👎 If you get 10 back, you’re a 😉horny💄healthy💪hoe😘 If you get all 19 back👏 your ass🍑 is the ANTIDOTE💊 and it’s in high demand 👬🏿
March 2020

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
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