[Copypasta] Golden Kappa beta test

twitchquotes: Kappa ItsBoshyTime TWITCH WARNING: ItsBoshyTime This chat has been chosen for the Golden Kappa beta test. Every 100 Kappa s, one will be Golden!
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October 2016
I used to be a real ad
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The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

Jerma crushed by a CRT television

On September 20th, 2018, authorities arrived on the scene Thursday to find Jerma (Jeremy “Nine-hundred eighty-five” Elbertson, 32) dead on the scene. Medical experts say he died from natural causes after being pinned under a CRT television weighing only 35 pounds.
January 2022
Jerma985

Bear

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ascii art
November 2014

deIlluminati

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠭⠽⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠗⠒⠓⠾⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠛⠚⠋⠁⠓⠲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣋⡈⣘⢉⢁⣈⠑⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣽⢞⣂⣁⣀⡄⣭⣉⡑⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣶⣭⣿⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣌⣉⡚⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⡯⠋⠍⠀⠈⡉⠊⢉⡽⢛⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⡾⣟⠲⠛⠆⠈⠉⠉⠩⢿⣧⣔⣺⣼⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⢿⢁⣉⣤⣤⣶⣦⣴⣤⣴⣰⣽⡿⣞⣭⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣟⣱⣶⣿⣿⣿⡇⠰⣻⣿⣟⣿⣟⡷⣟⢾⣷⣯⣗⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡷⣿⣿⡿⣙⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣽⣿⢱⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⣭⣙⠌⠩⠓⠃⠡⠙⠻⠿⠿⠽⠛⢁⠁⢚⣿⣾⣷⠿⡛⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣰⠲⡌⠣⠌⣁⠂⠠⠀⠂⠀⠤⢤⢤⢐⡒⠽⣋⣋⠮⠥⡒⢏⣛⣩⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⡽⣯⣉⡳⠀⠄⠌⣄⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣊⡭⠵⠖⠒⢪⣍⣙⣦⣤⡽⢧⠀ ⣰⣟⡷⡆⠽⣃⢉⡐⣂⠄⣁⠐⠀⢂⢐⢀⠓⡐⢒⡚⣇⢉⣫⠡⠭⢲⡾⣛⣾⡆
ascii art
September 2020

How Melee players describe Ultimate

twitchquotes: Smash community: ultimate is fun! Melee players (not part of smash community) : First time I got ultimate and tried it, after having played Fox-only on Final Destination for years in Melee, I was so disappointed. I couldn't Doowop a Skippity Uppity Airslap into a Wavedashed Cockdump Sparklenut. You aren't even allowed to Spitshine a ledge canceled Dickknob after twirlywhirly dibbidybobbidyboo 2: Electric Boogaloo.
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

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