[Copypasta] legs man or a breasts man

Vandelar from the castle jousting team

twitchquotes: Hail Kripp, 'tis I, Vandelar from the castle jousting team. How does life treat you today? I notice you continue to fool around with children's playing cards, some things never change! Art thou still playing the wizard of warcraft children's game? I never had time for such pursuits, for I found myself occupied with defending my honor, and laying with beautiful wenches. Alas, it was nice to see thou again, write me and we shall visit the tavern Kreygasm

twitch chat

May 2016

Kripp

Gr8 b8 m8

twitchquotes: Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8, I hope you r8 8/8 .. m8.

twitch chat

October 2014

Classic

Troll Face 2

░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▓▓▓▄▄▄░░░░░ ░░░░▄▄▓▀▀▀▀▀▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▄░░░ ░░▄▄▓▀▀░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▀▓▄░ ░▐▓▓▌░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▓▌ ░▐▓▒░░▄▒▒▓▄▄▒▒▒░▒▄▄▄▒▒▓ ░▓▓▌░░░░░▒▒▒▒▀▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ░▐▓░░░░▒▒▓(◐)▓░░░▒▓▓(◐)▒▓ █░▀▄░█▄█▀▄▄░▀░▀▄▄▀░░█░█ ░█░░░▀▄█▄█░█▀▄▄▄▄▄▀██░█ ░░█░░░░█░███▄█▄█▄███░░█ ░░░█░░░▀▀█░█▀█▀█▀███░█ ░░░░▀▄░░░░▀▀▄█▄█▄█▄▀░█ ░░░░░░▀▄▄░▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀

ascii art

September 2016

Barry Bee Benson v2 (Bee Movie)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠠⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠉⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⣀⣤⣦⣷⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣷⣿⣿⠟⣫⠕⠒⢚⠹⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⠟⠓⠂⠀⠀⠠⢨⣤⠉⠂⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⡤⢶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡏⡄⢢⣖⠠⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡾⠗⢻⡷⠈⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⠀⠈⠋⠀⠀⠄⢀⠀⠉⠀⠀⢱⠀⠀⠐⠖⣖⠒⠋⠉⠁⣀⣀⣤⣾⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠐⠒⠒⠈⠀⠀⢀⣠⢆⡞⠀⠀⠀⣼⣏⠃⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⡀⠀⠀⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣶⡶⣿⣿⣿⢟⡥⡊⠀⠀⠀⣼⣟⠂⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣆⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠧⠀⠙⠻⣿⣈⠀⠀⢀⣾⢟⠎⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⢀⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠁⠜⠻⣾⣴⣿⣯⡂⠀⢀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⣿⣿⢡⣻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠈⠀⠘⠈⠛⠷⣷⣿⣷⣶⣌⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣼⣿⣿⠃⢸⠃⠻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⡤⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣶⣿⣿⣯⣀⣟⣠⣴⣷⣾⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⣟⣷⠒⠄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⣰⣿⣿⡿⠃⣸⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠟⠛⠛⠚⠫⠀⠠⠙⠠⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠤⠾⠿⠿⠋⠐⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

ascii art

June 2021

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.

August 2021

[Copypasta] legs man or a breasts man

Vandelar from the castle jousting team

Gr8 b8 m8

Classic

Troll Face 2

Barry Bee Benson v2 (Bee Movie)

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Confirm Subscription