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[Copypasta]legs man or a breasts man
twitchquotes:One time I was asked if I was a legs man or a breasts man, I said I was into shaved pussy and anal and now Iβm "banned from KFC" and "a possible sex offender"
One time I was asked if I was a legs man or a breasts man, I said I was into shaved pussy and anal and now Iβm "banned from KFC" and "a possible sex offender"
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft
Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon
twitchquotes:Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex
twitchquotes:I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex. I mean sleep. Together. Under a blanket. In your bed. While your laying on my arm with my other hand on your tummy. With the window cracked, so its chilly and we have to cuddle closer. No talking, just the muffled cries.
I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex. I mean sleep. Together. Under a blanket. In your bed. While your laying on my arm with my other hand on your tummy. With the window cracked, so its chilly and we have to cuddle closer. No talking, just the muffled cries.
Among Us concerned father
Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game βAmong Usβ after playing it on his computer. While i didnβt mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'susβ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said βkickedβ. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying heβll βejectβ me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Dripβ, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a βcrewmateβ. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use βventβ to get there. I donβt know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game βAmong Usβ after playing it on his computer. While i didnβt mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'susβ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said βkickedβ. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying heβll βejectβ me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Dripβ, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a βcrewmateβ. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use βventβ to get there. I donβt know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?