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One time I was asked if I was a legs man or a breasts man, I said I was into shaved pussy and anal and now I’m "banned from KFC" and "a possible sex offender"
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What happened to this ad? :(
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monkaEyes
I want to rearrange your guts
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I want to rearrange your guts. No, not with my throbbing cock, not even in a sexual or physical manner. I want to drink kombucha and properly alkalinized water with you. Long walks at sunset to Whole Foods, we will manifest good energy through plentiful probiotics and good health
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Not your naked body
BOGGED
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣶⣾⣾⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢠⡄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⣭⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣴⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢹⣷⣤⣦⣤⣴⣴⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠂⠈⠙⠛⣿⣿⢟⣽⠿⠿⠌⠙⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⡋⠁⠄⣾⢠⣶⣧⠘⣿⢿⣷⢄⡀⣠⣴⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡶⠶⡛⡋⢉⣿⣧⠄⠈⠛⠋⠑⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠸⠃⠄⣼⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠐⠒⠂⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⡟⢿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠅⠄⠄⠄⢰⡿⠿⠿⠛⢢⠄⣶⣶⣴⣶⡶⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⡟⠄⠈⠻⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀⠄⠉⠁⠁⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈
I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing
I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO
twitchquotes:
༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽
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Kripp