twitchquotes:
One time I was asked if I was a legs man or a breasts man, I said I was into shaved pussy and anal and now I’m "banned from KFC" and "a possible sex offender"
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. It’s a 🏳️🌈🐻 legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation… He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… transitory. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
WallStreetBets
Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster ad
twitchquotes:
Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! 
The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere.
Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere.
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Don Han'Cho tells Kripp to disenchant his collection
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp its Don Han'Cho 
from da grimy goons. I got a job for yah. I know about a warehouse holding thousands of pounds of arcane dust. I got a tip that this place is called "collecteen manajaire" sounds french or somethin I don know. Anyways what I want you to do is da sneak in to dis place and look for a button called "deez ench ant". You whack dat and da goons will take care of da rest. You game?
from da grimy goons. I got a job for yah. I know about a warehouse holding thousands of pounds of arcane dust. I got a tip that this place is called "collecteen manajaire" sounds french or somethin I don know. Anyways what I want you to do is da sneak in to dis place and look for a button called "deez ench ant". You whack dat and da goons will take care of da rest. You game?
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
A man has fallen into the river in Lego City! (uwu version)
a man has fawwen into teh riwer in lego city! owo
start the rescuwu hewicopter
HEY nuzzles u
Buiwd teh hewicopter and owoff to the resucuwu
prepare the lifeline, lowoer the stwetcher and make teh resucuwu
the newu emewgency cowwection fwom lego city!!!
Lego City
Bear King Burry vs TSLA
Bear King Michael Burry in the ring, slappin TSLA with a metal chair. His glass eye open wide with rage as he batters TSLA relentlessly.
"The valuation..." crunch "makes...." crunch "NO.... " crunch "SENSE!" he roars with maniacal autistic glee.
TSLA struggles for the edge of the ring, but coughs blood as each hit lands, and eventually stops moving. Bear King Burry drops the chair.
Bear King Burry turns to the crowd
"Was this your champion!? Was TSLA supposed to be your chosen one!?"
A child in the crowd turns his face into his mother's side and cries.
On the side of the ring WSB can barely move. TSLA was supposed to tag them in, but couldn't make it to the side in time.
"Get up TSLA" WSB whimpers hopelessly, a single tear rolling down their cheek. "Get up..."
Bear King Burry turns to WSB
"Now it is your portfolio's turn. Get in here you little bitch."
"Excuse me." Someone replies from behind BKB. "I believe I can give you the fight you want."
A robed figure is administering smelling salts to TSLA. The figure puts TSLA on its shoulder and carries TSLA gently out of the ring.
"And just who the fuck do you think you are?" BKB rumbles ominously.
BKB's fingers squeeze so tightly on the chair that metal bends.
"Who am I?" the robed figure inquires.
The robed figure stands straight and stretches to their full height. They must be at least 7' tall.
The crowd stops crying and watches in stunned silence.
"Who am I?" The figure repeats menacingly.
The figure turns around to face BKB, ripping off his robe. A gleaming light fills the stadium. Before us stands a Golden deity, rippling with muscle. If there is an ounce of body fat it is currently in hiding, only to make way for seemingly endless coiled golden musculature.
The figure looks directly into Bear King Burry's eyes.
"I'm Goldman Sachs, and i'm here to kill you."