[Copypasta] you will never be on my intellectual level

twitchquotes: listen until you guys have read fichte, kant, schelling, hegel, goethe, novalis and hamann in the original german, you will never be on my intellectual level, you are plebs who are addicted to reddit and think rick and morty is a deep show, your children will be dysgenic losers and mine will be serious winners and well-educated, they'll probably smack the glasses off your children for fun and then go read homer in the original greek.
twitch chat
August 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp finally picks Pogo

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Kripparian, thank you so much for finally picking Pogo! Ever since you picked Pogo, his grades have gone up, he finally got a girlfriend, and he's stopped masturbating all day in his bedroom. I was certain my little Pogo was going to end up a lifeless virgin loser for his entire life, but your kind actions have put Pogo on a path for success. Thank you, thank you, you have my sincerest gratitude. Much love, Pogo's mom.
twitch chat
June 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Auto-Pay feature

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Classic

I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021

Handsome Shrek

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢩⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡧⣦⠄⢧⡙⢿⣟⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⡈⠂⠄⠸⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠰⢠⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢒⣂⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢛⣻⣿⣿⡟⢁⣠⣴⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢇⡄⣆⣤⣀⣦⡄⢈⣉⣛⣭⡀⠙⠭⡛⠿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣷⡾⣼⣿⠈⠉⠄⠄⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⠿⠄⠈⠛⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣄⣀⡲⢦⣤⣼⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣟⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢡⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠉⠁⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄
March 2021

Shrek

Text-to-Speech Playing