[Copypasta] you will never be on my intellectual level

twitchquotes: listen until you guys have read fichte, kant, schelling, hegel, goethe, novalis and hamann in the original german, you will never be on my intellectual level, you are plebs who are addicted to reddit and think rick and morty is a deep show, your children will be dysgenic losers and mine will be serious winners and well-educated, they'll probably smack the glasses off your children for fun and then go read homer in the original greek.
twitch chat
August 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

NOT ANOTHER CHILDREN'S CARD GAME

twitchquotes: Kripp sighs sitting at the dinner table. β€œI have to play hearthstone again, FUCK!” Rania consoles him, β€œIt’s okay sweetheart. I love you.” Kripp responds in tears β€œI have been having fun playing POE but I only got 6k viewers last night, how will we eat if I don’t play that goddamned Hearthstone for these morons!” Rania wraps her arms around Kripp’s neck, β€œIt’s okay baby, it’ll be different, when Artifact comes out!” Kripp lets out a scream, β€œNOT ANOTHER FUCKING CHILDREN’S CARD GAME!”
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Artifact

The pandemic in 2028 is kinda sus

Year is 2028 The pandemic has gotten so bad we are all forced to wear colored isolation suits with their own oxygen tank and no hands for contact. Those infected are turned into sociopathic murders that try to secretly kill everyone, but still dress and act like the rest of us. I work as a spaceship engineer in the Skled along with 9 other people. We just got notified that one among us was infected, but we still have to keep maintaining the ship otherwise it will explode. We are trying to figure out who it is by voting. 2 of us are already dead and i saw red vent, but nobody believes me. I think the others want to vote me off. This might be the last thing i'll write. Goodbye. Tell me wife i love her.
January 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Coronavirus

COVID

Bender

───────────────────────────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ──────────▄▄▀░░░▀▄▄────────── ────────▄▀░░░░░░░░░▀▄──────── ──────▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€ β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ ────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀────
September 2021

So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was β€œpregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020

What if we all spam the same thing?

twitchquotes: πŸ€” what πŸ€” if πŸ€” we πŸ€” all πŸ€” spam πŸ€” the πŸ€” same πŸ€” thing? πŸ€”
twitch chat
May 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing