[Copypasta] you will never be on my intellectual level

twitchquotes: listen until you guys have read fichte, kant, schelling, hegel, goethe, novalis and hamann in the original german, you will never be on my intellectual level, you are plebs who are addicted to reddit and think rick and morty is a deep show, your children will be dysgenic losers and mine will be serious winners and well-educated, they'll probably smack the glasses off your children for fun and then go read homer in the original greek.
twitch chat
August 2020
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More Copypastas

I met a man named madlife

twitchquotes: Back when I was in korea, I met a man named madlife, and he came up to me and said "this is how you play thresh you young wippersnapper" and I stood up out of my chair and said "okay" and that, is how the american madlife, machinegunnerusmc was made.
twitch chat
November 2014
machinegunnerusmc

Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021

forsenBoys

⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠹⠟⣩⣭⣤⣬⣍⡻⠁⣤⡄⢤⣤⣬⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣈⢿⠄⠄⠤⠤⢠⣿⡿⣩⣤⣍⢻⡷⡀⣿⡇⠠⠬⢹⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣷⣯⠺⠿⠿⠿⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⢈⣬⡃⣶⡇⣶⣶⣾⡟⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡌⢷⣶⣌⠛⢩⣼⡿⠁⠽⡇⢰⣦⠐⣉⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⣃⣘⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣍⣋⣐⣛⣋⣴⣀⣀⣀⣻⣿⣄⣋⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⢩⣴⣶⢰⣶⣬⠁⣤⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⢀⣶⣦⠹⣿⢰⣶⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⢺⣿⣐⣒⠘⠛⠂⠈⢻⢐⣒⡒⡒⢘⠊⠻⢇⠹⢨⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡷⠆⠙⠫⠻⠿⡑⠄⣉⡣⠙⠛⠋⠂⢸⣽⡇⠹⣷⠘⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⡧⢌⠉⣀⠃⠂⠽⠇⠈⠉⡉⣉⢸⣿⡇⣦⠹⣷⡜⠂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⣀⣀⣀⣠⣆⣀⣀⣀⣈⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣧⣀⣈⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣶⡆⣶⣶⡶⣦⠙⠟⣩⣴⣶⢰⣦⣍⡙⡐⣶⣦⢀⣶⡶⠄⣡⣶⠶⣶⣦⣍⢻ ⡇⣿⡇⣐⡒⣨⡾⠃⢰⣿⢋⣤⣦⡘⡿⠷⢰⠸⢇⡼⣿⢡⠄⣿⣇⣐⠂⠘⢛⣸ ⡇⡿⠁⢛⣛⠻⠶⠄⠸⠍⠸⣿⣿⡇⣰⣻⢰⠇⣾⡌⢀⣾⠷⠌⠙⡓⠛⠿⠤⠙ ⡇⢤⡅⡈⣉⣀⡈⠁⡀⢻⢧⢈⢋⣴⡴⠏⡌⣸⣾⠇⣼⣿⠄⢶⣦⠉⢉⡈⠄⢀ ⣧⣈⣁⣈⣀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣦⣤⣀⣈⣤⣴⣾⣄⣀⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣄⣈⣠⣴⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

Tanner from Rome

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Octavian" now plebian? Haha what's up spurcifer, it's Tannerius from Rome. Remember me? Me and the other legionaries used to give a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I can see not much has changed. Remember Seira, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, she's my concubine now. I make over 200 sesterces a year and drive a quadriga chariot. I guess some things never change huh? Nice catching up. Patheticus.
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

Text-to-Speech Playing