[Copypasta] you will never be on my intellectual level

twitchquotes: listen until you guys have read fichte, kant, schelling, hegel, goethe, novalis and hamann in the original german, you will never be on my intellectual level, you are plebs who are addicted to reddit and think rick and morty is a deep show, your children will be dysgenic losers and mine will be serious winners and well-educated, they'll probably smack the glasses off your children for fun and then go read homer in the original greek.
twitch chat
August 2020
I used to be a real ad
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It’s Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)

It’s Morbin time! # FAQ ## What does this mean? It’s time for Morbin. ## Why did I do this? There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to: I am very Morby I see you being morbin-able You morbed me first ## Is Morbius THE movie of all time? Yes ## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct. Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
June 2022

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July 2022

Confessions

Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer

twitchquotes: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) OVERCONFIDENCE IS A SLOW AND INSIDIOUS KILLER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2015

Classic

Navy Seal

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2019

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Unlucky Skeleton

⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀ ⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡟⡗ ⣿⠉⣿⠉⣿⡏⠹⡏⢹⡏⢹⣿⣿⠉⣿⠉⣿⡟⢋⠛⣿⠉⡟⢉⡏⠹⠏⣹⣿ ⠀⠀⠙⠏⠯⠛⣉⢲⣧⠟ ⣿⠄⣿⠄⣿⡇⡄⠁⢸⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⠄⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⠄⡀⢻⣿⡄⢠⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠠⢭⣝⣾⠿⣴⣿⠇ ⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣧⣿⣤⣼⣧⣬⣭⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣧⣤⣤⣿⣤⣷⣤⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢐⣺⡿⠁⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠀ ⠀⠀⣚⣿⠃ ⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷⢒⣢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣶⣶⣄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⡿⣿⣦⠬⢝⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠁ ⠠⢿⣿⣷⠺⣿⣗⠒⠜⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠟⠁ ⠀⣰⣿⣷⣍⡛⣯⣯⣙⡁⠀⠀⣠⡾⠁ ⠀⠨⢽⣿⣷⢍⣛⣶⢷⣼⣠⣾⠋ ⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣖⠬⣹⣶⣿⠟⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠚⠿⠿⡒⠨⠛⠋ ⠀⠀⠀⠐⢒⣛⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⢘⣻⣭⣭ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⢚⣺⣿ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄ ⠀⠀⢸⡿⢿⣿⢿⡿⠃ ⠀⠀⠘⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡿⠉⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡟
July 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing