[Copypasta] Quibi is shutting down

twitchquotes: Quibi is shutting down. What’s the fuckin point anymore? Now what am I supposed to do when I go to a restaurant and they tell me my table won’t be ready for another eight minutes? How am I supposed to pass those eight minutes using a cell phone and internet connection without quibi exclusive content only available on quibi? Where else can i get “quick bites” of content streaming directly to my mobile phone for viewing on the go? As if 2020 wasn’t bad enough now I can’t watch any more murder house flip, the show where they renovate houses where human beings have lost their lives at the hands of their loved ones and sell those houses to rich cosmopolitan couples looking to move out of the city? What’s the point? I for one am not “content” with the current state of the “content”
twitch chat
October 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

FeelsDankManRead

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⣾⠛⠛⣷⢀⣾⠟⠻⣦⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⢰⡿⠋⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⣬⡄⠄⠄⠄⣭⡅⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⢋⣉⣭⣭⣥⣬⣤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⣵⣿⣟⡉⣥⣶⣶⠶⠶⠬⣉⡂⠹⣟⡫⠽⠟⢒⣒⠒⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣃⡈⠄⠄⠘⠃⡰⢶⣶⣿⠏⠄⠄⠙⡛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣉⣉⣩⣭⣶⣿⡿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⣋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢩⣶⣒⠒⠶⢖⣒⣚⡛⠭⠭⠭⠍⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣬⣭⣭⣭⣤⡤⠤⠶⠟⣋⣀⣀⡀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠋⠈⢳⠄ ⣴⣦⡒⠬⠭⣭⣭⣭⣙⣛⠋⠭⡍⠁⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⠛⠉⢻⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⠤⢬⢍⣼⣦⡾⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡇⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⢦⣄⣇ ⣿⣿⡿⣋⣭⣭⣶⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⠄⡜⠄⠄⠄⠔⣿⣿
November 2021

Pepe

A Reddit comment summarized and compressed

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
August 2021

Shotgun Pepe

⡏⠛⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⣀⡀⠄⠹⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠄⢈⡄⣄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣧⠘⢹⣦⣄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣷⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡈⣙⠟⠉⠉⠙⠋⠉⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⡄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⣀⠄⢠⣀⠄⡨⣹ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣇⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠈⠋⠄⠄⣠⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿
January 2019

Pepe

YA SPAM IT

twitchquotes: ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ノ THIS IS OUR CHAT MODS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ノ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)̄ YA SPAM IT (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)̄
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November 2014
Kripp
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