[Copypasta] Quibi is shutting down

twitchquotes: Quibi is shutting down. What’s the fuckin point anymore? Now what am I supposed to do when I go to a restaurant and they tell me my table won’t be ready for another eight minutes? How am I supposed to pass those eight minutes using a cell phone and internet connection without quibi exclusive content only available on quibi? Where else can i get “quick bites” of content streaming directly to my mobile phone for viewing on the go? As if 2020 wasn’t bad enough now I can’t watch any more murder house flip, the show where they renovate houses where human beings have lost their lives at the hands of their loved ones and sell those houses to rich cosmopolitan couples looking to move out of the city? What’s the point? I for one am not “content” with the current state of the “content”
twitch chat
October 2020
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More Copypastas

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. “Are you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. “Soon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they halt—the alternation feature broken—on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a time—hours?—you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Solar energy stocks at night time

It’s nighttime so of course solar energy stocks would be weak as fuck. Wait til morning when the sun rises & pumps them
January 2021

WallStreetBets

So you're going by "Activision-Blizzard" now nerd?

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Activision-Blizzard" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Riot from Highschool. Remember me? Me and Gaben used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Hearthstone the game you had a crush on? Yeah, I have the better card game now. I make over 200 billion a year selling skins and I drive a Boeing 787. I guess some things never change huh loser? Good luck at 'Blizzcon' lol. Pathetic.."
twitch chat
October 2019

Paint me like one of your French grills.

twitchquotes: ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_ Paint me like one of your French grills.
twitch chat
March 2016

Kripp likes his relationships the way he likes games, casual

twitchquotes: 'Pls,' says the Rania, begging Kripp to propose to her. 'My family will be forevr shamed if we no marry.' But the Kripparrian doesn't respond. Instead, he continues playing hearth of stone, the game of casuals. He is too afraid of commitment in a hardcore relationship. Because in the end, the Kripparrian likes his relationships the way he likes his games—casual.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing