[Copypasta] Quibi is shutting down

twitchquotes: Quibi is shutting down. What’s the fuckin point anymore? Now what am I supposed to do when I go to a restaurant and they tell me my table won’t be ready for another eight minutes? How am I supposed to pass those eight minutes using a cell phone and internet connection without quibi exclusive content only available on quibi? Where else can i get “quick bites” of content streaming directly to my mobile phone for viewing on the go? As if 2020 wasn’t bad enough now I can’t watch any more murder house flip, the show where they renovate houses where human beings have lost their lives at the hands of their loved ones and sell those houses to rich cosmopolitan couples looking to move out of the city? What’s the point? I for one am not “content” with the current state of the “content”
twitch chat
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

spagootie

sometimes i like to pronounce spaghetti as "spagootie" and it has been working out fantastically so far. honestly, this single change has improved my life more than you could ever imagine. i highly suggest everyone try this out and see where your life goes. probably make all your dreams come true in like 5 business days. next time you have a big bowl of piping hot marina drenched pasta in front of you say "spagootie time!!" or maybe something like "im so ready for this spagootie!" and see where the magic will take you.
April 2022

I’m a simple guy

I’m a simple guy. I don’t know about all these fancy “financial instruments” or “market dynamics” or “where the clit is.” I like the stock, I buy the stock.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

KkonaW

⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⣦⣤⣤⣤⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻ ⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢶⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣯⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣯⣄⡘⢿⣿⣿⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠿⠋⠻⣿⣷⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⠿⠿⠏⠈⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⣀⡀⠐⠾⣷⣾⣿⣾⣷⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⣠⡆⢀⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣾⣦⣾⣯⣌⣩⣥⣉⣠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠿ ⣿⣿⣿⣍⣨⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠚⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⣠
September 2020

Hey, Kripp! What's up man?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Mike from Woman History class last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Leifman? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my numbah. Just hit me up, man.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Classic

Anyone basing trades right now on fundamentals is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking fundamental analysis when they can't even tell me if lil’ Yachty got another Ferrari much less how stuffed the fucking Oreos are now. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a valuation multiple you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not, you deserve CHGG. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade gourd futures you know about and feel with your hands that it hasn't been spotted by any number of fungal pathogens in the complex ecology of modern supply chains. Or alternatively manipulate markets like the rich investors who funnel you into silver every fucking time like clockwork. Warren Buffet's dad was Paul Revere, if you think that shit didn't help The Wizard of Omaha then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about EBITDA and long term debt-to-equity ratios. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in r/lounge with a fat chick, not on wsb posting "anyone basing trades right now on technical analysis is fucking tool.”
February 2022

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing