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1593 copypastas found.

A huge hurricane is coming QTs way

twitchquotes: Its 2019. A huge hurricane is coming QTs way. As theyre packing, they noticed they only have room for 3 pets in their car. A sad voice opens up in QTs mouth - "Dapper, No FeelsBadMan ". He was left behind.
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

Grandmaster accused of cheating, responds hilariously

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
August 2021

Chess

Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner

twitchquotes: Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me :)
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

i was raised to serve my wife

twitchquotes: call me old fashioned but i was raised to serve my wife. i clean the dishes and cook her food. i do whatever she says bc she is my wife and she makes the rules around the house. she owns me. i am her property. if she ever cheats on me it's bc i was lacking.
twitch chat
May 2020

Simps

Great job Mods. I am rooting for you always!

twitchquotes: Hey Mods, I hope you can see this message now that the chat has died down. I wanted to say congrats! I know it's hard to manage a TwitchTV chat but I always want to tip my hat off to you guys. Through thick and thin I will still be here to always support you. I know times are hard, but you always come back with a good attitude. I wish you the very best on your next timeouts, and hope you get an even better ban score. I will continue to be here and find new TOS violations as always. Great job Mods. I am rooting for you always! You should be proud.
twitch chat
November 2014

MODS

Tragedy of Angela β€œMercy” Ziegler the Healer

twitchquotes: I thought not. It's not a story the Blizzard Devs would tell you. It's an Overwatch legend. Angela Ziegler was the main healer of Overwatch, so powerful and so skilled she could use her rapid healing to influence the human body to create life... She had such a knowledge of healing that she could even keep the ones she cared about from dying. The ZΓΌrich PHD is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. She became so powerful... the only thing she was afraid of was losing her power, which eventually, of course, she did. Unfortunately, she taught Jeff Kaplan everything she knew, then her developers nerfed her in her sleep. Ironic, she could save others from death, but not herself.
twitch chat
February 2018

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Overwatch

Six foot antlers

twitchquotes: I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Fedora McTippersen, president of the ultimate gentleman Reddit Group

twitchquotes: Hey there Mister Michael Santana, i'm Fedora McTippersen, president of the ultimate gentleman Reddit Group. We come to contact you in great euphoria to ask if you wanna join us in our path to enlight the world about atheism. Goodnight, M'lord.
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

Crumbz picked Rengar again...

twitchquotes: It's 3:00 A.M. and Imaqtpie "Michael" Santana has to be up soon to stream. He awakens with a cold sweat screaming an with fear. Lisher awakes too and tries to sooth him. "Whats wrong baby?" QTPie says with a look of horror on his face "C-Crumbz picked rengar again..."
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

GME $1000 IS NOT A MEME

πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€ UPVOTE/GILD SO PEOPLE CAN SEE πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€ LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT SELL TOMORROW. OR ANY DAY THIS WEEK. Drops are coming. They are counting on fear to beat us. It’s the only weapon they have on us, but it won’t work because we are retarded. The people are finally taking the power back from these boomer hedge fund big money shorting douchebags - the same people who fucked everyone over in 2008 with CDOs and continue to fuck you over to this day. Get ready to make Melvin throat hard retard dick. We only have strength if we stay in this TOGETHER. HOLD THE LINE. THE SHORT SQUEEZE HASNT HAPPENED YET. Don’t pussy out you fucking idiots. $1000 IS NOT A MEME. I love you all, you beautiful autistic bulls. Hang tight while we ride this thing into the FUCKING STRATOSPHERE. APES TOGETHER STRONG 🦍 πŸ’Ž πŸš€
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018

Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat (β€œChat”) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (β€œnl_Kripp”) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Twitch Viewbot Premium Package

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid Hello, thank you for ordering the Twitch Viewbot Premium Package for $550 which will last 2 months and end on 8/13/17. This subscription will have your chat enter life-like messages that are believable and you'll never be suspected! Here are some examples: PogChamp PogChamp PogChamp how do you play this game? PJSalt what game is this? Additionally, upgrade for another $50 and earn the message: BabyRage STRIMMER TURN THIS DUMB SHIT OFF BabyRage MrDestructoid
twitch chat
June 2017

Viewbots

I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy

twitchquotes: Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

I think the balance team is doing an amazing job

twitchquotes: I think the balance team is doing an amazing job at keeping the game fun to play and interesting to watch! ($5.00 has been sent to your PayPal account, please delete this part of the message)
twitch chat
April 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Game Theory: Who asked?

This leads to the very mysterious question: "Who asked?" Well, to understand the question, we have to understand the answer: So this very particular question is asking about who asked, the question is divided into two parts: Who & asked "Who" is what is called an "Interrogative word" which specifies the answer to make it suitable for the question, the "Who" here is specifying a person/human/homo sapiens/guy which has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A human. Second: "asked" is a verb in the second condition of the forms of the verb, which are divided into three types: Regular, Past, or Past participle. and the verb "asked" is in the "Past" condition, which talks about the time that is gone and no longer exists. The original form of this particular verb is "ask", which is to say something in order to obtain an answer or some information. So, to summon what the answer wants from the previous two points, it's that: The answer wants to understand and know about the person/human/homo sapiens/guy who wanted to say something in order to obtain an answer or some information. So, in order to answer this question, we will have to identify two points: First: What was the question that the subject of the answer to the question "Who asked?" asked? Well, to understand this question, we will NOT have to understand what is the answer. We will just have to understand the definition of "Question" The "Question" is A sentence worded or expressed so as to elicit information. Questions could be identified using the "Interrogative Words", which we talked about earlier. these "Interrogative Words" are nine, which are: Who, What, Where, Why, Which, When, Whose, Whom, and How. We are going to explain each individually: As we said earlier: "Who" is specifying a person/human/homo sapiens/guy who has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A human. "What" is specifying a non-person/non-human/non-homo sapiens/non-guy who either does not have a brain that he can understand and think properly with, like plants, or objects, or they have a brain, either that their brains cannot understand and think properly, like animals, or their brain can understand and think properly, but their species/type is rather different from the society, like extraterrestrial creatures, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A(n) animal, plant, extraterrestrial creature, or object. "Where" is specifying a place, city, country, continent, etc. where something happens, or some(one/person/human/homo sapiens/guy), plant, animal, extraterrestrial creature or object which exists in a place, city, country, continent, etc. "Why" is specifying a reason for doing something. "Which" is specifying a choice of either two or more choices that the receiver of the question usually chooses. "When" is specifying a time in which either something already happened, or something will happen in either near, or far future, for example: "When will anyone save me as I was captured by MatPat for trying to comment a joke about his video?" "Whose" is specifying a person/human/homo sapiens/guy who has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, and that person/human/homo sapiens/guy owns something, or someone ( if he is a human trafficker ), and the sender of the question is trying to find who owns that something, or someone. "Whom" is an old-fashioned term, not often used today. Many native English speakers are less than clear about its accurate use. In fact, the word serves the same purpose as "Who" questions, which as we said: specifies a person/human/homo sapiens/guy who has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A human, but tends to be used when it is the object of the verb. With modern English, there is no real need to use the term. "How" could be referring to the way something is done or refers to the status of the receiver of the question. Now, let's get back to where we were talking: Questions can be different, and many, and the possibility of guessing the question could be high or low according to the frequency of using it, but guessing a question which was asked for the first time is very difficult, so, it is not specific what was the question that the subject of the answer to the question "Who asked?" asked. Second: What is the purpose of the question "Who asked?"? Well, it could be referring to roasting someone as the humor of "No one asked.", and it could be referring to actually asking a question about who asked the question. So, here's the answer to the question "Who asked?": It could be anyone who made something unlikely for the others or someone who asked a question which could be a hint to treasure, or a last "sentence" from somebody, or something else. (s)He could be you. (s)He could be me. (s)He could be Elon Musk. (s)He could be even your mom. as long as they have made something unlikely for the others or they have asked a question which could be a hint to treasure, or a last "sentence" from somebody, or something else.
February 2022

Who Asked?

A man has fallen into depression in Lego city

A man has fallen into depression in Lego city Start taking anti-depressants hey.... (he says lifelessly to his wife and friends) Climb to the top of the lego city bridge and say your goodbyes Prepare to die, lower your expectations, and off the bridge The new suicidal collection from Lego City
December 2020

Lego City

Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux

Now, let’s say πŸ—£ hypothetically, you πŸ‘†, my mother πŸ‘ͺ. Were to give 🎁 me, your πŸ‘‰ son πŸ™Žβ€β™‚οΈ, your πŸ‘‰ credit πŸ’Έ card πŸ’³ information πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ. So I πŸ‘₯ could make πŸ›  a purchase πŸ’² of 500 πŸ’― robux πŸ‘ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister πŸ‘±β€β™€οΈ will have you πŸ‘† believe πŸ™…πŸ», I πŸ‘₯ have done βœ… a very β€Ό good πŸ‘Œ job πŸ™†β€β™‚οΈπŸ€΅ of doing my chores 🧼, including πŸ“², but πŸ‘ not limited πŸ”’ to; The dishes πŸ˜³πŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΌ, the laundry and the taking πŸ‘Š out the trash β›ΉοΈβ€β™€οΈπŸ‘ΆπŸ—‘.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Text-to-Speech Playing