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If, according to Kanye West

If, according to Kanye West, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches, and if, according to Lil Wayne, bitches come a dime a dozen, does that mean one good girl is worth $8.33? Well, $8.35 in Canada. In Thailand, $8.33 is about 275 Baht. 275 Baht will get you a skanky one in a Thai brothel. If you want a really good hooker, it'll cost you at least 2000 Baht, or about $61.00. So in Thailand a good woman is worth $61.00 or $732 a dozen. Yes. However to further this, according to 2Pac Mo' Money= Mo' Bitches If you divide out Mo', you will see that money=bitches Therefore, 1000 moneys= one good girl. To extrapolate further, diving with respect to "money" yields 1 money = $0.00833 This changes everything, because money isn't worth hardly anything. True. A linear relationship between money and bitches means the equation relating money to them is in the form of y=ax+b, where x is money and y is bitches. Consulting the Lil Wayne theorem, if 12 bitches are worth $0.10, then one is $0.0083. Therefore we know that the equation 1=a(.0083)+b must hold true and so must 12=a(.1)+b. To find the equation relating money to bitches must have "a" and "b" values which satisfy the two previous equations. Since "Mo'" implies a positive linear relation, we know "a" must be positive. I have done the math for you and found that a=119.96 and b=.0043. So, (Bitches)=119.96(Money) + .0043. To find the number of good girls you get from an amount of money, simply divide the number of bitches by 1000 (because of the Kanye West Theorem). No but biggie said mo' money= mo' problems so money=problems and since mo' money mo' bitches, we can see that bitches=problems Well one must first consult the "50 Cent Law": "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems". Here we see that the amount of money is proportionate to the number of problems. Then one must factor one of the basic rules of the "The Carter Theorem" : "I got 99 problem but a bitch ain't one". Here we see that without a "bitch" the average person will have exactly 99 problems. Therefore the formula must be applied: (current amount of money) (8.33) / ln[(Problems100-1 ) (current amount of money)]bitches = worth of bitch Unfortunately this formula only tells us the value "a bitch" which as we know is only worth one monies Therefore you must apply [(worth of said prostitute) (problems) * (money-8.33)] + 1 / 1000 = The value of a good girl. Hope this helps. Yeah. No. That's not how math works. 2pac was merely stating that the derivative of Money in terms of Bitches is strictly positive. More-over, he skipped a lot of steps in his proof and never formally published the full version. I bet you believed Fermat's margins really were too small as well, right? Imperial bitches is actually a unit of weight. An imperial one is ~111.1111111112 pounds (Also known as a feminist) Theres one fundamental law of math that Lil'Wayne forgot to include in his calculations. We have to follow the law of "bitches ain't shit" theorized by doctor dre himself. With that principal included we can work out that if bitches aint shit, and a good girl is worth 1,000 bitches, a good girl is still not worth shit. You're forgetting that Jay-Z published his paper on the "Money Ain't A Thang" theory. Therefore if bitches aren't worth shit then bitches aren't money and so therefore they ARE, in fact, a "Thang". Is that the transitive property of bitches? Is it possible that for every bitch, there is an equal and opposite good girl? That doesn't make sense though because kanye said a good girl is worth one thousand bitches. The economics don't make sense. Newton or kanye is wrong. They cannot both apply their laws to bitches I think the important part here is, are we assuming that there is 1 good girl for every 1000 bitches. This is a very scary thought. 1/1000 females is a good girl and the other 999 are bitches. To me this would make my $8.33 a very good investment. I paid at least $3000 for my wife's wedding ring. Could I have bought 360 good girls in stead of 1 good girl? B/c I can't help but feel like I have overpaid for my good girl according to the genius of Kanye West and Little Weezy F. Baby. Don't get me wrong, I love my good girl wife, but I feel duped knowing she may have only been worth 8 bucks instead of 3000 It actually depends on they type of women. If it is a bakers daughter it is less since the sample size is actually larger I.E. a bakers dozen (13) so: (.10/13)x1000=$7.69 ...0r $9.69 Canadian (not counting the maple syrup) How much candy you can buy for $8.33? We can conclude that 1 bitch is worth approximately 0.83c, but since bitches are of negative value it's actually -0.83c. This means that in order to get the correct positive value of a good girl there needs to be an exponential factor involved here. In order to evaluate the amount of good girls needed to offset the bitches you use the simple formula -0.0083B2 = G. This intuitively makes sense when you think about how the more bitches you have around you the exponentially higher value even a single good girl has. So when B=1000 we get: G = -0.0083(1000)2 = $68.89 Interestingly enough, if the entire female population of the US, let's say 150 million for simplicity, were bitches, the worth of one good girl would then be $1,550,025,000,000 which is just over the total USD currently in circulation.
March 2022

If my girl and my fidget spinners are both drowning

twitchquotes: If my girl👧😍 and my fidget spinners 💯🔥 are both drowning🌊😦 and I could only save one😄☝️️ you can Catch me letting it spin at my girls funeral😅👻💀 Cause it's fidget spinner or catch a fade 🙏👊
twitch chat
May 2017

Emoji Pasta

Fidget Spinner

Kappa salute

twitchquotes: Kappa 7
twitch chat
May 2017

PLEASE END AMONG US AND MCDONALDS

McDonalds is trying to invade the world. I don't know if you'll believe me, but it's true. I have plenty of evidence. In the USA, a McDonalds opens every 14.5 hours. That is very much. I see Mcdonalds every time I drive my car on the road. I live in a smaller area and there are plenty of McDonalds!. Once I saw two were next to each other! I went to Big Bear to have a nice winter, but a FUCKING MCDONALDS WAS THERE. I went to another country to stay there because I always wanted to go there. No McDonalds! but there was a new problem. AMONG US! PLEASE END AMONG US AND MCDONALDS, I AM SUFFERING
July 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Jared we need to talk, are you boosted?

twitchquotes: "Jared we need to talk" said QT sitting down at the table. "We think you have a problem" said Dom. " are you boosted?" they asked in unison. Jared began to break down and cry as he looked at his D3 account. "I dont think I'll ever get to play with you guys again unless I do" said Jared. "Quit being a *** pussy" said Dom and QT as Jared eyed the glock on the table next to them.
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Hello Kripp, Cattarian here

twitchquotes: CoolCat Hello Kripp, Cattarian here. Since I'm dead, my new family bought me sunglasses and propped me up like in that movie Weekend At Bernie's. How you doing in Canadaland? Playing Grindstone? Been lucky? Not dead like me? Say hello to Rania from me. CoolCat
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

I'm still not as salty as you

twitchquotes: Reynad, I went to Isreal the other week. I went to the dead sea and floated on the incredibly salty water. I managed to get some in my mouth, and then came out ate a pretzel, and a hot dog with extra salt. And then ate an entire salt lick. I'm still not a salty as you. PJSalt
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

salty

A cat's eye view is the best advantage

twitchquotes: "wtf are you doing Micheal" says Lisha as she walks into the room and sees QT on top of the cat stand. He looks at her and says "A cat's eye view is the best advantage." deIlluminati
twitch chat
July 2015
imaqtpie

Last night I shoved live gerbils in my ass for the first time. AMA

July 2022

Confessions

I sexually identify as a centipede

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a centipede. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dropping dank memes on cucks everywhere. People say to me that a person being a centipede is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install 100 legs and two hollow fangs on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Nimble Navigator” and respect my right to meme everywhere and trigger endlessly.
twitch chat
November 2016

2016 US Election

I sexually Identify as

THIS IS A TEST, IF YOU ARE HUMAN, DO NOT COPY PASTA

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid THIS IS A TEST, IF YOU ARE HUMAN, DO NOT COPY PASTA THIS MESSAGE MrDestructoid
twitch chat
August 2017

Viewbots

if my girl and fidget spinner both dying

twitchquotes: if my girl👧😍and fidget spinner߷ both dying😱and I can only save one 😤😬catch me at her funeral 😔👻🌹spinning ߷ through ߷ the ߷ pain ߷ 💯 😎
twitch chat
June 2017

Emoji Pasta

Fidget Spinner

Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

neverlucky

Kissahomie

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣴⣼⣵⣾⣴⣤⣦⣄⣴⣶⣬⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿ ⢀⣿⣭⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡶⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡀⠄⠄ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⣯⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣕⡀ ⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⣼⣿⣿⣤⠘⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣇⠈⠺⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣽⣿⣿⣳⣿⡌⠙⠛⠿⠛⢋⣛⣿⣿⠇⣠⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠿⠋⠄⠈⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣦⣶⠄⠻⢿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠻⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⣰⢟⣵⣿ ⠂⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⡶⣪⢶⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Catten Eatarrian

twitchquotes: "This pasta is delicious, Rania," says Kripp as he receives his vegan foodie. Rania replies, "That's not pasta. It's cat." As the Kripp vomits in horror, Trump removes the Rania mask. "It seems you've catten Eatarrian."
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

Hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan!

twitchquotes: H-hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan! I know you don't know me that well, I sit in the column closest to the door and in the back row. Oh yeah, duh... LoL, we have Chemistry together with Ms. Raphatello. Ughh, she's such a b****! Anyways I'm being such a baka (LoL that's Japanese for idiot!). Oh, do you like Anime too? I'm sure if you gave it a chance you would too if you don't already watch it ~_~. I always look at you in Chemistry and you never seem to notice me... BAHHH WHAT AM I DOING?!?! GOMENASAI Artour-kun (gomenasai means sorry in Japanese ^.^). Just wanted to say hello and I really love your stream! Good luck Kripp-kun!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

Giant tropical Kripparians

twitchquotes: Giant tropical Kripparians share their territories with Hearthstone players. Despite never getting to legendary, he's a nimble player. As quick as lightning, just like the player he's killing, the Kripparian has two curved hollow fangs which inject paralyzing salt. Even pros aren't immune from an ambush. This Kripparian is an arena player.
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Greek Prime Minister Georgios Pastopoulos

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is Greek Prime Minister Georgios Pastopoulos, since you left our exports of 'BROFISTS' have dropped to 0 and the economy is in shambles. What little food we can afford is used to feed a sad betrayed cat we found. Please come back.
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha?

twitchquotes: Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha? And I'm referring to Rinne Tensei Madara Uchiha with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikidou paths ability) equipped with his Gunbai and control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, a complete Susano'o, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in his chest so he can perform Mokuton kekkei genkai and yin-yang release ninjutsu as well as being extremely skilled in taijutsu and bukijutsu
twitch chat
August 2019

Weebs

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much? I'm really trying to pay attention to the stream and you guys are distracting me. If you guys really cared about the quality of the stream or [insert streamer name] you would stop the spamming and copying and pasting. God, I swear you guys are the worst part of twitch. Couldn't you just try to be mature for once in your life? Everyday I come here and it's the same thing, a bunch of no life neckbeards ruining this quality content for everyone else..
twitch chat
December 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing