[Copypasta] Kappa salute

I used to be a real ad
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My son 🙇was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son 🙇was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. 💦 Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019

WeirdChamp

⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⣤⣾⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠄⠈⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡇⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠄⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⣀⣀⣤⣄⣀⠉⢣⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⠄⢀⣀⣀⣄⡀⢀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣆⣾⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⣛⣛⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⢶⣦⣦⠄⣀⣽⣿⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀ ⡇⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⣽⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠉⠉⠙⠋⢉⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⣿ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠾⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣇⠈⢿⣿⡟⢁⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠠⢿⣆⠄⠄⠘⠉⠉⠉⠁⠈⠙⠩⠿⠍⠙⠻⠄⠉⣰⣿⡿⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣋⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣟⣁⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣟⠍⢍⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2019

⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021

Genetics is the future

I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers. Genetics is the future.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I sexually Identify as a WEEB

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a WEEB. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of AYAYA. People say to me that a person being a WEEB is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm cute. From now on I want you guys to call me "AYAYA-CHAN" and respect my right to be cute. If you can't accept me you're a racist and need to check your privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

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