[Copypasta] You have been permanently banned from this channel

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch You have been permanently banned from this channel. Please review the Twitch Terms of Service for more information. ————————————————————————
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto and I am begging you to stop drinking so much OJ. Since you became popular on the Twitch our sales have decreased by over 69% because Canadians want to be like you. For *** sake please drink some apple juice! If you continue drinking OJ, I wont be able to feed my family anymore
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Coke Gaming out!

twitchquotes: HI, this is Coke Gaming here In the Twitch stream of Aurateur. We would like to give you lots of money and gifted subscriptions, and maybe you can be on a platform-wide ad! Please be as loud and obnoxious as possible, the louder the reaction the better! Thank you for considering us. Coke Gaming out!
twitch chat
December 2019

Mario Kart banana peel

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ascii art
April 2021

SIMP

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ascii art
December 2020

Simps

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
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