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1420 copypastas found.

Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto and I am begging you to stop drinking so much OJ. Since you became popular on the Twitch our sales have decreased by over 69% because Canadians want to be like you. For *** sake please drink some apple juice! If you continue drinking OJ, I wont be able to feed my family anymore
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Xi Jinping Tanner

twitchquotes: So youโ€™re going by Kripparian now, nerd? Haha what up, itโ€™s Xi Jinping from China. Me and the other dictators used to give you a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I see your social credit score is still low. Remember Mei Ling, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, I have her organs now. I forcefully oppress over 1 billion people a year, and run a corrupt government. I guess some things never change, huh? Nice catching up, pathetic..
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Hi I'm 13 and I just started watching Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: Hi I'm 13 and I just started watching Rick and Morty and I can tell you for a fact it's my favorite show!!. Lik the one time Ricky said said there's probably like no good !!!! i was agreeing so much I'am smarter then you're average fidget spinner teen at middle school to even though I have one. I may be young but I'm smarter then every theist on earth basically the show is also really deep when they said like no one was born for a reason I was so blown away as they must have big balls to say that on tv so I told my friends on minecraft and they agree too. LOL once when my mom took me to McDonald's I asked for the Mulan dipping sauce and the dumb bitch didn't even get the reference XD One time in class i evan shouted "I'm PICKLE RIIIICK!" and Mrs.Janice told me to go outside i fucking hate that cunt school is for dumb ppl just like what Rick said, i m too smart for such imbicells. But yeah I love Rick and Morty and I'm actually smart enough to get it to.
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

After Reynad uses pictures of his forehead for Tinder...

twitchquotes: After Reynad began using only pictures of his forehead for his Tinder account, his amount of female attention increased drastically. One woman was particularly ready to hop in bed with him. "I'm going to make so much money off of this thirsty Ukrainian!" she said to herself. Unfortunately for her she left her phone on with Andrey's Tinder profile open and his forehead heard her. She "disappeared" within the week.
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

Tyler1 McDonald's order

twitchquotes: 2 McDoubles without onions, a McChicken plain, medium fries, 2 apple pies, and an Oreo McFlurry.
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

what is a fortnight?

twitchquotes: Hello Iโ€™m Jeff a father of a 12 year old boy one day my son asked me to get a free game called fortnight at first I was ok with me but his intelligence started to slowly disappear after two months and now he is calling me a default and doing satanic movements around the house please send help
twitch chat
December 2019

Fortnite

You useless piece of shit

ou useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, youโ€™re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. Itโ€™s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankindโ€™s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being whoโ€™s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe. My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in. But then again, you are so incredibly abominable that you would probably be able to surpass the worst conceivable failure a living being could possibly make. You are so incredibly pathetic that you are honestly not worth any more of my words nor my time. Just remember that I will forever detest you for your failure and everything you stand for, and no matter what happens, I will never ever forgive you.
April 2022

Bernie Sanders chicken nuggest

Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in New York???? This is so fucked.
April 2018

2016 US Election

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024

Reynad was getting ready for his first HTC cast

twitchquotes: Reynad was getting ready for his first HTC cast. His palms were sweaty. Frodan sits next to him, "are you nervous Andrey?" Reynad wipes away his tears and says, "not anymore". They both smile and place their hands on each other's crotch under the desk. Reynad closes his eyes. KappaPride
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Kripp has contracted Casualitis

twitchquotes: The average length of Kripp's stream has decreased over the past 3 years from an average length of 11 hours to the current average of 5 hours. In 2 more years, Kripp will stream for 0 hours. What's the cause? Sources say Kripp has contracted a terminal illness - Casualitis. Soon he will join Katarrian in Heaven. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Emoji move emoji review

twitchquotes: A ๐Ÿ‘Œ whole ๐Ÿ’ฆ town ๐Ÿช of ๐Ÿ’ฆ beings, ๐Ÿ‘€ confined to ๐Ÿ’ฆ feeling ๐Ÿ˜œ one ๐Ÿ˜ค emotion their ๐Ÿ† entire ๐Ÿ‘ life. ๐Ÿ‘ค That ๐Ÿ˜ could ๐Ÿ”’ honestly ๐Ÿ‘ be ๐Ÿ the ๐Ÿ‘ focus of ๐Ÿ’ฆ an ๐Ÿ‘น entire ๐Ÿ‘ movie, ๐ŸŽฅ but ๐Ÿ‘ in ๐Ÿ‘ the ๐Ÿ‘ emoji ๐Ÿ˜‚ movie ๐ŸŽฅ that's ๐Ÿ˜ฆ just ๐Ÿ‘ the ๐Ÿ‘ world ๐ŸŒŽ they ๐Ÿ‘ฅ live ๐Ÿ™… in, ๐Ÿ‘ and ๐Ÿ‘ yet ๐Ÿ˜‡ these ๐Ÿ‘ˆ beings ๐Ÿ‘€ don't ๐Ÿšซ question ๐Ÿ˜ฉ it ๐Ÿ’ฏ and ๐Ÿ‘ carry ๐Ÿ”› on ๐Ÿ”› their ๐Ÿ† lives ๐Ÿ“ด as ๐Ÿ‘ normal... ๐Ÿ˜ the ๐Ÿ‘ emoji ๐Ÿ˜‚ movie ๐ŸŽฅ takes ๐Ÿ˜‰ a ๐Ÿ‘Œ far ๐ŸŒŒ more ๐Ÿ— subtle ๐Ÿ™ˆ approach ๐Ÿ˜œ meaning critics probably ๐Ÿ˜ป didn't ๐Ÿšซ notice the ๐Ÿ‘ strong ๐Ÿ’ช existential themes present ๐Ÿ’ฒ in ๐Ÿ‘ the ๐Ÿ‘ film upon ๐Ÿ‘ฆ first ๐Ÿ‘† viewing.
twitch chat
July 2017

Emoji Pasta

mommy! kripp just read my message!

twitchquotes: haHAA : mommy! kripp just read my message! HotPokket : who's kripp honey? haHAA : A mid-aged man , playing cartoon games to entertain children, BabyRage here's a picture of him. HotPokket Clap KKona Clap way to go son \ haHAA /
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Stop spamming your emojis

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I would greatly appreciate if you stop spamming your 'emojis'. I am trying to watch this stream in peace but you ANIMALS are disrupting my time. I will go to complain on r/DotA2 if you continue. Thanks
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Dota 2

A huge hurricane is coming QTs way

twitchquotes: Its 2019. A huge hurricane is coming QTs way. As theyre packing, they noticed they only have room for 3 pets in their car. A sad voice opens up in QTs mouth - "Dapper, No FeelsBadMan ". He was left behind.
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

Kripp gets in trouble exploiting Noz and jousting

twitchquotes: (ยทฬฟฤนฬฏยทฬฟ ฬฟ)" Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about your Noz deck and jousting exploit. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp (ยทฬฟฤนฬฏยทฬฟ ฬฟ)
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

With this dust of a Dorito chip, I use this chant to summon Kripp!

twitchquotes: (ใคโ€ขฬ€แดฅโ€ขฬ)ใค*:๏ฝฅ๏พŸโœง With this dust of a Doritoโ„ข chip, I use this chant to summon Kripp! (ใคโ€ขฬ€แดฅโ€ขฬ)ใค*:๏ฝฅ๏พŸโœง
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Grandmaster accused of cheating, responds hilariously

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
August 2021

Chess

Good Morning Euro-soys

twitchquotes: Good Morning Euro-soys. Just a reminder that America alpha's you in every aspect of life. Back to Back world war champs. 2 time nuclear bomb droppers. Undefeated in every war we ever participated in. Your food is trash and you don't even have sweet baby Ray's BBQ. Weebs are more socially acceptable than a European. Night.
twitch chat
July 2019

EU vs NA

๐Ÿ†HAPPY SPANKSGIVING๐Ÿ’ฆ

โ€ผ๏ธITS๐Ÿ— SPANKSGIVING ๐Ÿ‚ BITCHESโ€ผ๏ธOn this day ๐Ÿ—“ many years ago ๐Ÿ˜ฎ the SLUTTY ๐Ÿ‘  PILGRIMS ๐ŸŽฉ sailed โ›ต๏ธ across the ASSlantic ๐ŸŒŠ HOEcean in a quest ๐Ÿ‘€to find ๐Ÿ”Ž more ๐Ÿ˜ COCKS ๐Ÿ† to SUCK! ๐Ÿ‘… Together with the ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NAUGHTY ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NATIVES ๐Ÿ‘น, they gathered ๐Ÿ‘ซ around the dinner table ๐Ÿฝ and had ๐ŸŽ‰ our nationโ€™s very 1๏ธโƒฃst GANG BANG! ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ We honor ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป their ORGY ๐Ÿ˜ฎ every year ๐Ÿ“† by giving THANKS ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ to all ๐Ÿฅฐ thatโ€™s important โค๏ธ to us: Family ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ, Friends ๐Ÿ‘ฌ, Freedom ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, and DICK! ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒฝ๐Ÿ‘… So grab your BUNS, ๐ŸžโœŠ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œsqueeze those BREASTS, ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿคฒ and shove a cornaCOPIOUS ๐ŸŒฝ๐ŸŒฝ amount of DICK ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ˜ฉ into that hungry ๐Ÿ˜ฎ hungry HOLE! ๐Ÿ•ณ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ‘… Ladies ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ, just like your ๐Ÿฆƒ THOTSgiving ๐Ÿฆƒ turkey, itโ€™s time โฐ to throw your legs ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธin the air ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธand prepare to get โžก๏ธ STUFFED ๐Ÿ™€! After dinner,๐Ÿดitโ€™s time ๐Ÿ˜ฎ for CUMPKIN PIE!! ๐Ÿฅง Show Daddy ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฝโ€๐Ÿฆณ how ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ thankful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ you are and LICKK ๐Ÿ˜› his WishBONE ๐Ÿฆด until he gets as HARD ๐Ÿ”as PlyMOUTH rock โ›ฐ and shoots ๐Ÿ’ฆ his HOMEADE GRAVY ๐Ÿฅฃ! ๐Ÿ‘… Midnight ๐ŸŒ™ starts ๐Ÿ˜ˆ BLACK โฌ›๏ธ FRIDAY ๐Ÿ› so send ๐Ÿ“ค this to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ THOTS ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธyou are thankful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ for! If you get 0๏ธโƒฃ back, sail ๐Ÿ”™ to England ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป๐Ÿคฎ If you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back, youโ€™ll be getting your corn ๐ŸŒฝ CREAMED ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿฅฐ. Get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back or more, and the ๐Ÿ™€ BIGGEST, ๐Ÿ™€ GIRTHIEST, BLACKโšซ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐Ÿ† COCK ๐Ÿ˜ฑ is CUMMING ๐Ÿ’ฆYOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜
August 2021

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

NSFW

Holiday

Text-to-Speech Playing