โผ๏ธITS๐ SPANKSGIVING ๐ BITCHESโผ๏ธOn this day ๐ many years ago ๐ฎ the SLUTTY ๐ PILGRIMS ๐ฉ sailed โต๏ธ across the ASSlantic ๐ HOEcean in a quest ๐to find ๐ more ๐ COCKS ๐ to SUCK! ๐
Together with the ๐ NAUGHTY ๐ NATIVES ๐น, they gathered ๐ซ around the dinner table ๐ฝ and had ๐ our nationโs very 1๏ธโฃst GANG BANG! ๐ฏโโ๏ธ๐ฏ๐ฏโโ๏ธ We honor ๐๐ป their ORGY ๐ฎ every year ๐ by giving THANKS ๐๐ผ to all ๐ฅฐ thatโs important โค๏ธ to us: Family ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ, Friends ๐ฌ, Freedom ๐บ๐ธ, and DICK! ๐๐ฝ๐
So grab your BUNS, ๐โ๐๐squeeze those BREASTS, ๐๐ฅ๐คฒ and shove a cornaCOPIOUS ๐ฝ๐ฝ amount of DICK ๐ ๐ฉ into that hungry ๐ฎ hungry HOLE! ๐ณ๐๐
Ladies ๐ฏโโ๏ธ, just like your ๐ฆ THOTSgiving ๐ฆ turkey, itโs time โฐ to throw your legs ๐คธ๐ผโโ๏ธin the air ๐คธ๐ผโโ๏ธand prepare to get โก๏ธ STUFFED ๐!
After dinner,๐ดitโs time ๐ฎ for CUMPKIN PIE!! ๐ฅง Show Daddy ๐จ๐ฝโ๐ฆณ how ๐๐ผ thankful ๐๐ผ you are and LICKK ๐ his WishBONE ๐ฆด until he gets as HARD ๐as PlyMOUTH rock โฐ and shoots ๐ฆ his HOMEADE GRAVY ๐ฅฃ! ๐
Midnight ๐ starts ๐ BLACK โฌ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐ so send ๐ค this to ๐ THOTS ๐๐ปโโ๏ธyou are thankful ๐๐ผ for! If you get 0๏ธโฃ back, sail ๐ to England ๐๐ป๐คฎ If you get 5๏ธโฃ back, youโll be getting your corn ๐ฝ CREAMED ๐๐ฅฐ. Get ๐ back or more, and the ๐ BIGGEST, ๐ GIRTHIEST, BLACKโซ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐ COCK ๐ฑ is CUMMING ๐ฆYOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT ๐๐๐๐๐๐
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President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day
Happy PresiDICKโS ๐๐๐ฝ DAYโผ๏ธ Time โฐโฐ to honor the DADDIES ๐ฌ๐ฌ of our nation ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ George SLUTsington ๐ฏ๐ฏ, Benjamin SPANKlin๐๐, John HanCOCK ๐๐ฝ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ These POUNDING ๐จโ fathers ERECTED โฌ๏ธโฌ๏ธ their ๐ป๐CUNTstitutional dongs ๐๐for LADY LIBERTY ๐ฝ๐
๐ Raise that ASS ๐ to ๐ฆ๐ฆ Abraham LinCUM ๐ฆ๐ฆ, ๐ฒ WOODrow Wilson ๐๐ฒ๐, Bill CLIT-on ๐๐, and the CUMmander in chief, ๐ฆ๐๐BarCOCK Obama ๐ฆ๐๐ Donโt forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE ๐๐ฉ DICKlared war ๐ซ๐ฃ on those CUMMIES ๐ฆ๐๐ Share in โ๏ธ SUCKonds or you wonโt be pounding ๐จthat presidential PUSSY ๐๐ Get 5๏ธโฃ back and ur a White House HOE ๐ Get ๐ back and ur the SUCKretary of state ๐๐๐บ๐ธ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ HAPPY JIZZIDENTโS DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS ๐๐๐
President's Day
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Holiday Emoji
OMG you're so FUNNY so quirky
๐๐OMG ๐ youโre so FUNNY ๐คฃ ๐คฃ so quirky ๐๐ ๐คช so different ๐คฉabsolute crackhead energy ๐คช๐คช comedic genius๐ง ๐ I literally canโt โ breathe ๐ญ iโm crying dude ๐ญ๐ญ that was so hilarious ๐ u really got the whole squad laughing ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ๐๐ฉโ๐ฉโ๐ฆโ๐ฆ๐๐จโ๐จโ๐งโ๐ฆ high IQ comedy ๐ง ๐ง howโd you come up with that ๐ง๐ really original work ๐ never seen ๐ or heard ๐ anything like that before ๐ ๐ ๐ great ๐ job ๐๐ keep up the funnies ๐๐คฃ๐ i love you ๐ ๐ youโre my inspiration ๐คฉ๐คฉ๐คฉ if only i were as funny ๐ or smart ๐ค or cool ๐ as you ๐ but its whatever Iโll continue to watch ๐๐๐ your content ๐ฅ๐คณ because it โNEVER EVERโ fails to make me laugh ๐๐ thank you ๐ for existing ๐ and doing what you do โค๏ธโค๏ธ
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SIMP SUMMER IS OVER
twitchquotes:
SORRY SLUTSโผ๏ธ๐ค๐SIMP SUMMER๐IS OVER๐
๐ปโโ๏ธ๐ซYOU BETTER FUCK OFF ๐๐ผโโ๏ธBECAUSE NO โSIMP โSEPTEMBER HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN๐๐ป๐๐ป YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS ๐๐ณ LOOKS LIKE THE ๐TURKEY๐ ISNT GETTING ANY SLURPY ๐ง TONIGHT๐โผ๏ธ PREPARE ๐ค๐ปUR PUSSIES ๐๐ป๐๐ปFOR A DRY SPELL โ๏ธ CAUSE ITS TIME๐ FOR THE BOYS ๐ค๐ช๐ผTO FOCUS ๐ ON THEMSELVES ๐YOU SLUTS BEST SAVE YOURSELVES FOR THAT GOOD DICK๐๐ป๐ SEND THIS TO 7๏ธโฃ OF YOUR BIGGEST HOES๐ฏโโ๏ธTO LET THEM KNOW YOU'RE READY๐FOR NO โSIMPโSEPTEMBER๐๐ป๐๐ป
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Simps
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It's EXAM WEEK
twitchquotes:
It's EXAM WEEK ๐ค๐ค and it's TIME โฑโฑ to WHIP OUT ๐ฏ๐ฏ your EDUCATION ERECTIONS ๐๐๐๐ and FUCK THESE FINALS ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐. That's RIGHT, get READY to BOOTYCALL ๐๐ your SLUTTY STUDY BUDDIES ๐๐ and HIT ๐๐ the BOOKS ๐๐๐till your BRAIN ๐ง ๐ง is RUBBED RAW ๐ซ๐ซ and your PEN ๐๐is DRY ๐ต๐ต. So let's put the CUM in CUMULATIVE ๐ฆ๐ฆ and do this THING ๐๐. Send this to 11 of the SKANKIEST ๐คค๐คค SCHOLARS you know or you will LITERALLY get F'D! ๐ฑ๐ฑ
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OURcraft?!?!?
Youtube? More like OURtube, am I right?๐๐ I'll put a picture of Staling next to this, so the meme will be super-duper funny!! Get it? Get it? Cause communism, you know, its about making everything shared, right? So you see, this joke is so clever because instead of saying "you", I say OURS! ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐คข๐๐ข๐ Get it? Get it? Cuz ours is like its SHARED XD. Man, i'm soooo clever. You know what, it seems to me like I'm really good at these camunism jokes, so I'll try making more!! How about instead of minecraft we say OURcraft? ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐คฎ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐ Get it? Cause commanism!!! Oh, how about, whenever I see something that breaks or falls apart, I'll ask in a very clever and humorous way: "What is this, the USSR?" Get it? Its cause the USSSSSSR also fell apart!! ๐๐๐๐๐ Or maybe I'll call anything that has the colour red in it COMMUNIST!! ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐ค๐
๐๐๐คข๐๐๐ซ๐คฏ๐
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ Cuz you know, the USssSSSSR's flag is ALSO RED!!!!