โผ๏ธITS๐ SPANKSGIVING ๐ BITCHESโผ๏ธOn this day ๐ many years ago ๐ฎ the SLUTTY ๐ PILGRIMS ๐ฉ sailed โต๏ธ across the ASSlantic ๐ HOEcean in a quest ๐to find ๐ more ๐ COCKS ๐ to SUCK! ๐
Together with the ๐ NAUGHTY ๐ NATIVES ๐น, they gathered ๐ซ around the dinner table ๐ฝ and had ๐ our nationโs very 1๏ธโฃst GANG BANG! ๐ฏโโ๏ธ๐ฏ๐ฏโโ๏ธ We honor ๐๐ป their ORGY ๐ฎ every year ๐ by giving THANKS ๐๐ผ to all ๐ฅฐ thatโs important โค๏ธ to us: Family ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ, Friends ๐ฌ, Freedom ๐บ๐ธ, and DICK! ๐๐ฝ๐
So grab your BUNS, ๐โ๐๐squeeze those BREASTS, ๐๐ฅ๐คฒ and shove a cornaCOPIOUS ๐ฝ๐ฝ amount of DICK ๐ ๐ฉ into that hungry ๐ฎ hungry HOLE! ๐ณ๐๐
Ladies ๐ฏโโ๏ธ, just like your ๐ฆ THOTSgiving ๐ฆ turkey, itโs time โฐ to throw your legs ๐คธ๐ผโโ๏ธin the air ๐คธ๐ผโโ๏ธand prepare to get โก๏ธ STUFFED ๐!
After dinner,๐ดitโs time ๐ฎ for CUMPKIN PIE!! ๐ฅง Show Daddy ๐จ๐ฝโ๐ฆณ how ๐๐ผ thankful ๐๐ผ you are and LICKK ๐ his WishBONE ๐ฆด until he gets as HARD ๐as PlyMOUTH rock โฐ and shoots ๐ฆ his HOMEADE GRAVY ๐ฅฃ! ๐
Midnight ๐ starts ๐ BLACK โฌ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐ so send ๐ค this to ๐ THOTS ๐๐ปโโ๏ธyou are thankful ๐๐ผ for! If you get 0๏ธโฃ back, sail ๐ to England ๐๐ป๐คฎ If you get 5๏ธโฃ back, youโll be getting your corn ๐ฝ CREAMED ๐๐ฅฐ. Get ๐ back or more, and the ๐ BIGGEST, ๐ GIRTHIEST, BLACKโซ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐ COCK ๐ฑ is CUMMING ๐ฆYOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT ๐๐๐๐๐๐
I used to be a real ad
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If my girl and my fidget spinners are both drowning
twitchquotes:
If my girl๐ง๐ and my fidget spinners ๐ฏ๐ฅ are both drowning๐๐ฆ and I could only save one๐โ๏ธ๏ธ you can Catch me letting it spin at my girls funeral๐
๐ป๐ Cause it's fidget spinner or catch a fade ๐๐
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President's Day Emoji Pasta
ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! ๐จ๐จ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธtime to hop onto that founding father dick๐๐๐๐ด๐ป๐ด๐ป๐ด๐ป๐ด๐ปor should i say founding DADDIES!!!๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐๐
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๐ฆ๐ฆ out here tryna get rammed from behind ๐๐๐๐harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMOREโ๏ธโ๏ธโฐ๐๐george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh โ๏ธโ๏ธ๐ฌwinters๐ฌโ๏ธโ๏ธ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheets๐ช๐โโโbe the monica Lewinsky ๐๐ปto my bill clinton๐โโ๏ธ baby and i wont deny i had ๐๐โ๏ธsexual relationsโ๏ธ๐๐ with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programs๐ธ๐ธ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธโ๐ปsend this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSES๐ธ๐ผ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ๐ธ๐ผwho will throw the nastiest neck๐๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฌ๐ฆ on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAY๐๐๐๐จโค๏ธ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonight๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ
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OURcraft?!?!?
Youtube? More like OURtube, am I right?๐๐ I'll put a picture of Staling next to this, so the meme will be super-duper funny!! Get it? Get it? Cause communism, you know, its about making everything shared, right? So you see, this joke is so clever because instead of saying "you", I say OURS! ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐คข๐๐ข๐ Get it? Get it? Cuz ours is like its SHARED XD. Man, i'm soooo clever. You know what, it seems to me like I'm really good at these camunism jokes, so I'll try making more!! How about instead of minecraft we say OURcraft? ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐คฎ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐ Get it? Cause commanism!!! Oh, how about, whenever I see something that breaks or falls apart, I'll ask in a very clever and humorous way: "What is this, the USSR?" Get it? Its cause the USSSSSSR also fell apart!! ๐๐๐๐๐ Or maybe I'll call anything that has the colour red in it COMMUNIST!! ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐ค๐
๐๐๐คข๐๐๐ซ๐คฏ๐
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ Cuz you know, the USssSSSSR's flag is ALSO RED!!!!
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If Harambe and my girl both drowning
twitchquotes:
If harambe ๐ and my girl ๐ง ๐ both drowning ๐ฑ ๐ and I can only save one ๐ค ๐ฌ Catch me at my girl funeral ๐ ๐ป ๐น with my dick out ๐ ๐ฏ ๐ ๐
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Harambe
Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss
In Japan ๐ฏ๐ต , heart surgeon โค๏ธ๐จโโ๏ธ . Number one ๐ญโ๏ธ . Steady hand๐ณโ๏ธ. One day, Yakuza boss ๐๐ปneed ๐ heart๐. I do operation๐ชโ๏ธ. But, mistake๐ฑ! Yakuza boss die๐ต๐ช! Yakuza very mad๐ฟ. I hide๐ in fishing boat๐๐ฃ๐ปโโ๏ธ, come to America๐๐๐บ๐ธ. No english๐ค, no food๐ฉ, no money๐๐ซ๐ฒ. Darryl ๐จ๐ฟgive me job๐๐จ๐ปโ๐ผ. Now I have house๐ก, American car ๐ , and new woman ๐๐ฑ๐ปโโ๏ธ. Darryl ๐จ๐ฟsave lifeโ. My big secret๐: I kill โ ๏ธyakuza boss on purpose๐. I good ๐surgeon. The best๐๐ฏ!