I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I want to date Pokimane so bad
twitchquotes:
I want to date Pokimane so bad. She is so cute and I love her so much. She has a cute smile and a cute face. She’s a gamer like me and has a amazing personality. I would love to tell her every night “I love you” and rub her feet while she is streaming. We would go out when she isn’t doing gamer stuff and have fun together. She is also really good at gaming so I would be able to get carried by my very own GF. I love girls who are better at things than me so I can learn from them. God I want to date Pokimane
twitch chat
Pokimane
Kripp's kidney stone surgery
twitchquotes:
There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
Kripp
Creepy Clown
⣼⡟⠋⣀⣼⣾⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡘⢹⠄
⡟⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⣇
⠁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢵⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢹
⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄
⠄⢰⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⢻⣿⠄
⡄⢸⣯⣥⡴⠒⢊⡁ ⭕ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⠁ ⭕ ⣆⠈⣁⣈⣿⣿⡴
⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣡⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣆⣤⣾⣬⣭⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⢻⡟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠯⠎⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢖⣀⣀⠄⣼⠄
⢀⠘⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⣴⣿⠏⠄
⠄⠄⠘⣿⣷⣌⠙⠻⢿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣠⡤⠞⡋⡍⠄⠂⠄⠄⣼⣿⠃⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⡁⣾⣹⡍⣁⠐⡆⡇⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣷⡘⢻⣧⣇⡟⢿⢿⠄⢷⢸⡧⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⡹⢹⠸⢣⢈⠘⡇⠘⠈⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⠃⣰⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⠘⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠸⢿⣿⡏⣾⠓⠃⠄⠄⢀⡟⣿⠏⣰⣿⣷⠄
⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡞⣼⡿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷
⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠿⣝⣿⣿⣦⣤⣭⣥⣤⣤⣶⣾⠿⠋⢀⣼⣿⣿
Don't Care Ratio
dont care + didnt ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + h0es mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re probably white + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur momdon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re a full time discordian + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + your gay + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur mom + unknown + random + biased + racially motivated + kys + ur unfunny +ratio don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe copedon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + h0es mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re probably white + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur momdon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re a full time discordian + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + your gay + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur mom + unknown + random + biased + racially motivated + kys + ur unfunny +ratio don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + so bad + so ass
Ratio
Who Asked?
AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?
So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot).
My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands).
I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?