[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe I’m jacked to the mf’ing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MF’ER.

December 2020

WallStreetBets

Pizza baked, crust is cheesy, hey y'all, gimmie gimmie

twitchquotes: ヽ༼OpieOP༽ﾉ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ʙᴀᴋᴇᴅ, ᴄʀᴜsᴛ ɪs ᴄʜᴇᴇsʏ, ʜᴇʏ ʏ'ᴀʟʟ, ɢɪᴍᴍɪᴇ ɢɪᴍᴍɪᴇ ヽ༼OpieOP༽ﾉ

twitch chat

November 2014

Kripp

It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t ‘gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.

August 2021

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you? 💦😉 🧻Corona🤧 is CUMMING💦 for us and you’ve just tested 😱positive🦠 for being 💋NAUGHTY😉 🙅‍♀️Social distancing is in effect🚫 and I want to spend my 🤷‍♂️quarenTEEN🔞 with YOU 😍 So grab your 🧴isopropyl-lubricant 💦 and CUM👅 over so I can administer👩‍⚕️ your treatment😉 and inject💉 you with the vaccine🍆 We’ll spend the 🗝lockdown🔒 flattening the curve📉 and FATTENING DEM’ 👏🏿 CURVES 🍑 Get ready for 14 days of 💯THICC DICC DIAGNOSTICS😭 and sitting on my facemask😷 Send this ✉️ to covid-19 of your sloppiest 💦💦SYMPTOMATIC🤒 SLUTS🤫 If you get 5 back, you’re a Wuhan bat🦇 bitch 👎 If you get 10 back, you’re a 😉horny💄healthy💪hoe😘 If you get all 19 back👏 your ass🍑 is the ANTIDOTE💊 and it’s in high demand 👬🏿

March 2020

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

Crayon Shin Chan

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ascii art

September 2021

[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do

WallStreetBets

Pizza baked, crust is cheesy, hey y'all, gimmie gimmie

It's not gay with socks on

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

Crayon Shin Chan

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