[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Are we human or are we dancer?

twitchquotes: ζ༼⊙ ͟ل͜ ⊙༽ᶘ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴏʀ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇʀ? ζ༼⊙ ͟ل͜ ⊙༽ᶘ
twitch chat
August 2014

Hello Michael, this is your cat, "small cat"

twitchquotes: Hello Michael, this is your cat, "small cat", since you don't listen to my cries I decided to contact you on this twitch chat. If you don't feed me right now im going to shit in your shoes tonight, fuccboi. Your loving "small cat"
twitch chat
May 2015
imaqtpie

Trump wakes up chained to the wall

twitchquotes: Trump wakes up chained to the wall of a small room with Kripp standing over him. Orange Juice begins pouring from the walls, quickly filling the space. Trump screams in horror as he struggles to get free. Kripp walks out, shuts the door and sits down to begin his stream, the white wall of the death chamber visible behind him for all his viewers to see
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Big eyes Kurum

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠉⢹⡿⠫⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣻ ⣿⣿⣯⢰⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾ ⣿⡿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣀⣤⣤⠄⠄⣀⣴⡦⣨⢻ ⣿⣧⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⢻⣿⣯⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢵⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡥⣬⣿⣿⠋⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠁⠄⠄⣊⣊⣐⣀⠄⢹⣿⣿⠿⢣⣲⣴⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣍⣭⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢲⣡⡤⡙⢾⢿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣲⣿⣿⣿⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣯⣾⡿⠀
February 2021
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing