I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Jared thought he was back with the crew
twitchquotes:
Jared, jumping for joy at the site of an easy victory with QT thought he was back with the crew. Little did he know QT was devising a cunning plan to demote Jared back to Diamond 3. Boom, like a shot in the dark, an instant 4 man surrender stole the wind right out of Jared. Jared glanced over to his 9mm, knowing one day he will have his chance to right these wrongs.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Boosted Animal Jared
League of Legends
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Classic
WallStreetBets
Hey Europoops, who built the statue of liberty?
twitchquotes:
Hey Europoops, who built the statue of liberty? NOT YOU 
STAY POOR EU
Hey Europoops, who built the statue of liberty? NOT YOU STAY POOR EU
twitch chat
Riot Games
EU vs NA
Donald of the House Trump
twitchquotes:
In the name of Donald of the House Trump , First of his name, rightful President of the States. Lord of the 2 political parties, Protector of the Border. I 
sentence you to exile.
In the name of Donald of the House Trump , First of his name, rightful President of the States. Lord of the 2 political parties, Protector of the Border. I sentence you to exile.
twitch chat
KKona
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣭⣥⣶⣶⣶⣦⣭⣭⣛⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⢫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢻⣿⣿⣿
⡿⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢹⣿⣿
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⢸⣿
⡇⣿⣿⣭⣄⣀⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠉⢸⣿
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⠆⣿
⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣄⣀⣴⣶⣆⡀⠄⠄⠿⢿⣶⣿⣿⣰⢸
⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⢰⢸
⣇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢻⣷⡾⣯⡉⠛⠉⠙⢩⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣾
⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠳⠿⠇⠄⠄⠄⣼⡃⠄⠈⢿⣿⠏⢡⣿
⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢠⣀⠒⠲⠶⠶⠶⠖⠄⢀⠄⣴⣿⠟⠄⣾⣿
⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⠄⠄⢴⣿⡏⠉⠁⠄⣼⣿⣿
⣿⣧⡨⡻⡟⠛⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⠘⠉⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠟⠄⠙⠋⠄⠄⠄⠠⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿