[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey, Vsauce, Michael here!

Hey, Vsauce, Michael here! Down here. But which way is down? And how much does down weigh? Well, down weighs about 1/100 of a g/cm3 . It is light, and airy, which makes it a great source of insulation and buoyancy for waterbirds. But if you let go of down, it falls down. So that's which way down is, it's the direction that gravity is pulling everything. Now for someone on the other side of the Earth, my down is their up, but where are falling things going? Why do things fall? Are they being pushed or pulled? Or, is it because of TIME TRAVEL.
March 2020

Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of RFLCT

twitchquotes: Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of RFLCT, cream, do you know what blue light is? Anybody knows what blue light is? No, not bud light. I think that's a beer brand. Talking blue light. Anyways, RFLCT is a new skin care product that protects against blue light and unwanted blue light that may be coming from your monitor. So that's my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little bottles. Stuff like that.
twitch chat
October 2021

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti

twitchquotes: My sister bet 100 dollars that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

Trollge face v2

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July 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing