I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Kripp subscribes to life
twitchquotes:
Ｉ ｕｎｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ ｆｒｏｍ ｌｉｆｅ ｔｏ ｗａｔｃｈ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ， ｄｅｖｏｔｅｄ ａｎｄ ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ ｍｙｓｅｌｆ ｔｏ ｈｉｍ， ｈｉｓ ｃｈａｎｎｅｌ； ｈｏｗ ａｍ Ｉ ｒｅｐａｉｄ？ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｂｅｔｒａｙｓ ｍｅ， ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｉｎｇ ｈｉｍｓｅｌｆ ｔｏ ＬＩＦＥ！ i’ｍ ｓｏｒｒｙ Ｋｒｉｐｐ， ｂｕｔ ＴＨＩＳ ＭＯＮＴＨ ｙｏｕ ａｒｅｎ’ｔ ｇｅｔｔｉｎｇ ｙｏｕｒ ｄｏｎｇｅｒｓ， ＵＮＳＵＢＢＥＤ．
twitch chat
Kripp
What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?
What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
Navy Seal
I fucked Up DVD
Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
Classic
And you thought there wouldn't be any bees in chat
Catarrian hungry
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.ᕙ໒(˵￣ᴥ￣˵)७ᕗ
twitch chat
Kripp