[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

One ring to rule them all

twitchquotes: It began with the forging of the great rings. 3 for the ARPG gamers, immortals, for they cannot afford to die. 7 for the Strategy gamers, builders, who command entire armies. 9 for the MMO players, who spent days logged in without breaks, and who above all else desire loot. For within these rings was the strength and power to remain nolife. But they were all deceived. For another ring was made. In the land of Romania, in gypsy flames, the dark lord Kripp forged a secret ring, and into this ring he poured his trips, his want for a female, his family, but above all else, his desire to be casual. One ring to rule them all.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

They were tears of pain

twitchquotes: They were not tears of salt; they were tears of pain. Jowi03 was devastated after being beaten by Kripp. The supple, 11 year old child wails aloud, his dream shattered, realizing he will never be a professional gamer. “I’m not going 0-3,” Kripp lashes with his sinister tongue. Yes, just another ‘easy win’ for Kripparrian...
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

I love Art of Conquest!

twitchquotes: My $0.99 starter bundle put me well above the other players. But, when I reached the first enemy castle. I couldn't beat it. I checked the in game shop. "BONUS SILVER TROOPS $4.99 EXPIRES IN 3:14:28" I happily spent $4.99. Shortly after I came across an elite boss I couldnt beat. So I checked the in game shop. "BONUS GOLD TROOPS. 5000 RESOURCES. $19.99 EXPIRES IN 1:05:39" It's about to expire! I quickly entered my credit card and bought the bundle, it was such a steal. I love Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

Oh so I’m a simp?

twitchquotes: Oh so I’m a simp? Complimenting women on Twitter makes me a simp? Supporting woman with a $99.99 subscription to her onlyfans makes me a simp? Visiting her and getting arrested makes me a simp? You’re right. It does make me a simp. (S)uper (I)ncredible (M)an (P)
twitch chat
April 2020

Simps

Kripp Jong Un

twitchquotes: ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७ It is me Kripp Jong Un. I demand that all showings of "Topdecking and Wrecking 3: Gripped and Kripped" be removed immediately. Those who refuse will be pepperonied ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing