[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
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More Copypastas

Man i love bull markets

Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: DatSheffy 📢 ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

OI OI OI! WOTS ALL THIS???

OI OI OI! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⣩⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣾⣿⣋⡡⠤⣀⣷⣄⠠⠤⣉⣿⣷⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣟⢋⣰⣯⠉⠉⣿⢄⠉⢻⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⢿⣷⣶⠤⠔⣶⣶⠿⢾⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠠⠀⠂⠀⠀⣧⡚⢿⣿⡶⢶⡿⠟⣠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠒⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠒⠐⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢿⣋⣀⡄⠠⣢⣀⣩⣛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ WOTS ALL THIS??? 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 YER POISTIN LOICENSE HAS EXPOIRED!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 ONE HUNNIT TESCO CLUBCARD POINTS 'AVE BIN DEDUCTED FROM YER ACCOUN'!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 YER THREE QUID MEAL DEAL IS GONNA BE A FIVER FROM NOW ON!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A CHICKEN OR 'AM SANDWICH!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL' IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!!!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
January 2022

British People

She needs a man that can treat her right

twitchquotes: What the fuck man. I'm literally sitting here on the verge of tears. Slaving away in this dead end job saving up for the end of the month splash. I was this close. Maybe I should have done that overtime, if I could get her that money earlier I might have been able to convince her in the dono message. She needs a man that can treat her right, a man like me. I would open the car door for her EVERY TIME, I would pull out her chair at a restaurant, I would lay my twitch hoodie over puddles to protect her from the filth.
twitch chat
December 2020

Simps

Hey Tyler, I've been a beta male all my life

twitchquotes: Hey Tyler, I've been a beta male all my life. My mommy tells me to man up. My daddy disowned me. All the kids pick on me at school and push me over. Even my girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't play Draven. Tyler could you please mod me so I may ban people randomly in your chat to be alpha :)
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1
Text-to-Speech Playing