[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Absence of the "legendary" card back

twitchquotes: ( ರ Ĺ̯ ರೃ ) Hello Kripparian. Reginald and Dan Dinh, Owners of Team SoloMid™ here. We gained access to your Hearthstone account and couldn't help but notice the absence of the "legendary" card back. This poorly reflects on Team SoloMid, and, as such, we have decided to remove you from the team. Please return your jacket. Thank you ( ರ Ĺ̯ ರೃ )
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Legality of Wario

twitchquotes: In order to move units of his "Microgames" Wario "borrows" patented characters, IPs, and game mechanics from beloved Nintendo franchises. Somehow he hasn't yet been called out, let alone legally challenged for it. That's not even touching on the working conditions he subjects his friends to, and the fact that they rarely, if ever, see the revenue their creations bring in. I'm not sure what copyright laws they have in Diamond City, but I seriously think that someone needs to sue that fat con artist for all he's worth.
twitch chat
July 2019

Super Smash Bros

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

forsenWut

⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦ ⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣛ ⣤⠶⢒⣒⣒⣲⣤⣷⣮⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣸⣿⣿⠟⣋⣭⣭⣤⣤⣭⣙⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠁⠈⠉⠍⡉⡙⠛⠻⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⢠⣴⠄⣠⠄⠉⠉⠛⢦⡙⢿ ⣦⣤⣙⣚⢓⣛⣋⠤⠜⢱⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⣬⣍⠙⠉⢐⣀⣀⣤⡴⠛⣨ ⣦⣭⣍⣉⣉⣭⣴⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣛⣛⠛⠘⣿⣿⣟⣙⠛⣛⢛⣉⣀⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣼⣿⠋⣼⡿⠿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠙⠛⠃⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⡿⠋⠘⠛⢿⣦⣿⣧⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⣸⣿⡏⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣷⣦⣄⠉ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡏⣰ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣸⣿ ⠄⠘⠁⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣧⡤⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢰⣿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⣀⣀⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠿⠈⠋ ⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Always has been

Always has been 🌍👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀
March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing