[Copypasta] I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
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You've been gnomed 3

โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ Ÿโ ‰โ โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ™โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ธโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโ „โก โกคโกคโกคโกคโกคโกคโก โกคโกคโฃธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ—โขโขฎโขฏโกบโฃ•โขกโก‘โก•โกโฃ˜โขฎโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกงโฃโขฎโกชโกชโกชโกŽโกŽโกฎโกฒโฃฑโฃปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ Ÿโ โขธโกณโกฝโฃโขโขŒโขฃโขƒโกฏโฃ—โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโ Ÿโ โ „โ „โ „โ นโกฝโฃบโขฝโขฝโขตโฃปโขฎโขฏโ Ÿโ ฟโ ฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โกŸโข€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ™โ ฝโ ฝโกฝโฃฝโฃบโขฝโ โ „โ „โขฐโขธโขโ ฝโฃ™โขโขฟ โก„โขธโขนโขธโขฑโข˜โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ „โ „โ „โฃ€โ „โ „โฃตโฃงโฃซโฃถโฃœโฃพ โฃงโฃฌโฃบโ ธโก’โ ฌโกจโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฝโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโ กโ ‘โ ‚โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ„โ  โข€โข€โข€โก€โก€โ  โข€โขฒโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขโข€โ ‚โข„โ ‡โ  โ ˆโ „โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃงโ „โ  โ ˆโขˆโก„โ „โขโข€โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก€โ  โ โฃผโ ‡โ „โก€โ ธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฏโ „โ „โก€โ ˆโ ‚โฃ€โ „โข€โ „โ ˆโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃ„โฃ€โ โข€โฃธโฃทโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
ascii art
December 2018

Speaking American

twitchquotes: IF YOU THINK NA SUCKS WHY ARE U ALL SPEAKING AMERICAN EUROFAGS? EleGiggle
twitch chat
April 2014

EU vs NA

Dear Kripp, This is Twitch CEO Dick McPeenballs

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Donkey Kong

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
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September 2021
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