[Copypasta] I think i need a special vaccine

twitchquotes: 😳 what's this? my heart is beating so fast 💓 I feel dizzy 🤪 what is this tension in my lower body? 🤔 I am sweating so much 🥵 I think i need a special vaccine 🍆 because I have [insert streamer name]virus 🤒🤒🤒
twitch chat
April 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Penis Inspection Day

twitchquotes: I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat
December 2019

You've been visited by the Feels Bad Man

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan You've been visited by the Feels Bad Man FeelsBadMan Misery, Hatred and Self Deprecation will be all yours FeelsBadMan but only if you DON'T copy and paste this message FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Oh, these? My boobies?

Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?
April 2021

Kripp drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges

twitchquotes: Ｋｒｉｐｐ， ｉｔｓ Ｓｔａｖｒｏｓ ｔｈｅ Ｆｒｕｉｔ Ｓｅｌｌｅｒ ｆｒｏｍ the bazaar． Ｉ＇ｍ ｓｏｒｒｙ ｔｏ ｔｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ ｂｕｔ ｙｏｕ＇ｖｅ ｄｒａｉｎｅｄ Ｇｒｅｅｃｅ＇ｓ ｅｎｔｉｒｅ ｓｕｐｐｌｙ ｏｆ Ｏｒａｎｇｅｓ． Ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｒｉｏｔｉｎｇ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ ｗｅ ａｄｖｉｓｅ ｙｏｕ ｔｏ ｈｉｄｅ ａｎｙ ＯＪ ｓｕｐｐｌｙ ｙｏｕ ｍｉｇｈｔ ｈａｖｅ ｌｅｆｔ． Ｗｅ ｃａｎ ｎｏｗ ｏｎｌｙ ｓｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ Ｏｌｉｖｅ Ｊｕｉｃｅ ａｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｏｄｄ ｊａｒ ｏｆ Ｔｚａｔｚｉｋｉ． Ｐｌｅａｓｅ ｎｏ ｇｙｒｏ ｏｕｚｏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing