[Copypasta] Biden at a CNN townhall with Don Lemon

Biden: Yo- uh, y-you, y-you got the vaccination? Don Lemon: Yeah. Biden: A-Are you... Are you okay? I mean, you seem... no, it works, or you, you know, or, or, or, or the mom and dad, or or, or, or, or the neighbor, or when you... go to church, or when you’re — n-no, I-I-I-I really mean it, there... are trusted interlocutors. Think of the people, if-if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were — there’s a man on the moon, or, or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not. You know, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Disgrace to all Morosans

twitchquotes: Octavian Morosan, this is your great great grandparrian, I am contacting you from beyond the grave to tell you that you are a disgrace to all Morosans because of your recent switch to being a casual. Pls no Maserati
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Guido Mista's face

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⢛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⢀⣀⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⡀⠴⢒⡒⠂⠄⢀⡀⢐⡀⡀⠄⠄⢀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡡⠪⠶⢿⡭⡉⠄⢀⢣⣖⣶⣬⡱⣄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⣔⣎⠓⠂⡀⠑⠖⣒⠭⠻⠿⠿⠷⠙⣎⠉⠉⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⢱⣿⣔⣀⠊⠐⢼⣿⣶⣠⠄⠐⡐⠶⡂⣿⣀⡀⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠂⣿⣿⣷⣶⣟⣴⣾⣿⣧⣐⣤⣤⣭⣿⠇⡇⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⠿⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⡞⡇⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠞⢀⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣌⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣽⣿⠁⡇⠒⢒⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⣾⠋⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡿⠃⣴⡇⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡛⡿⣿⣿⣷⣇⠄⠄⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⠄⣼⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠐⣥⡙⠛⠿⠇⢸⠰⠄⠄⠄⠹⠟⠛⠋⢉⣀⢩⢴⠄⢰⣿⣧⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢱⡀⠄⠄⠇⡰⠄⡐⠄⠰⠰⢿⠃⠈⠉⢠⠄⠄⠻⠿⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡤⡴⠶⠚⠋⠻⣆⠄⠁⣠⠡⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠠⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠲⠎⠉
August 2019

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

All Star by Ben Shapiro

Now, lets say, hypothetically, that somebody once told me that the world would proceed to roll me, and made the claim that I was not, the smartest tool in the shed. Which would lead us to look at the facts and see that she was looking kind of dumb, due to the fact that she had placed her finger and her thumb, in the shape of the letter L, located on her forehead. This would mean that the years would start coming, and logically wont stop coming, that I was, hypothetically, fed to the rules, which would proceed with me hitting the ground running. Which didn’t make sense, to live for fun, in a way that your brain gets smart, yet your head gets dumb, seeing as there’s so much to do, and so much to see, so now I must pose the question, what is wrong with taking the backseat? This is due to the fact that you’ll never know if you don’t go, nor you will shine if you don’t glow. For you see, you are, at this moment, an All-Star, so get your game on, and proceed to go play, indeed, you’re an All-Star, get the show on, which would entitled you to get paid. That would mean that all that glitters, is indeed gold, and that only shooting stars, can participate in the process of breaking the mold.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing