[Copypasta] "Unsponsored Hero Academy 2™ Stream

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. “Boy,” he says, “we got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. “Wow!” says Hanks. “I don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his ‘Unsponsored’ Hero Academy 2™ Stream!”
twitch chat
March 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019

Wojak

───────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄ ────▄▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄ ──▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄ ──█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄ ─▐▌░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░░▐▌ ─█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄░░▀▀▀▀▀░░█ ▐▌░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀░░░▐▌ █░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▀░░░░▀▀▀▀▄░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀░░░▐░░░░░▐▌ ▐▌░░░░░░░░░▐▀▀██▄░░░░░░▄▄▄░▐▌ ─█░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀░░░░░░▀▀██░░█ ─▐▌░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌░░░░░░█ ──▐▌░░▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░█ ───█░░░▌░░░░░░░░▐▀░░░░▄▀░░░▐▌ ───▐▌░░▀▄░░░░░░░░▀░▀░▀▀░░░▄▀ ───▐▌░░▐▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ───▐▌░░░▌░▀▄░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░█ ───█░░░▀░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░▄▀ ──▐▌░░░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░▄▀ ─▄▀░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀█▀ ▀░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░▀░░░▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▄
ascii art
September 2018

YOU’VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE KAWAII TRUCK

YOU’VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE |^^^^^^^^^^^^](ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ | KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|”“”;.., ___. |_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] | ”(@ )’(@ )”“”“*|(@ )(@ )*****(@　　　　⊂（ﾟДﾟ⊂⌒） NO KAWAII TRUCK NO!!! MOTHERFUCKER ONCE YOU'VE BEEN HIT, YOU HAVE TO HIT EIGHT FUCKING KAWAII ASS PEOPLE! IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU’LL KNOW YOU'RE REALLY SO FUCKING KAWAII IT'S SO FUCKING SUGOI PEOPLE WILL PISS THEIR PANTS AND SHIT BRICKS AND YOU WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKING LORD OF THE MOTHERFUCKING KAWAII! IF YOU BREAK THIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN, YOU'LL BE CURSED WITH UNKAWAIINESS AND SHITTINESS FOR 9000 YEARS SO PASS IT; HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS KAWAII.
ascii art
October 2021

Weebs

Anime

Thanks for backseating v2

Reminder for all participants of this chat: Streamer is very grateful for any incoming advice and tips on build, strategy, and abilities he should have used the last teamfight. He is a hardstuck Challenger therefore your advice is invaluable to him as people in silver bronze and iron show incredible out of the box thinking that can push the diamond player to greatness. Please do not hesitate to help the streamer and other chat users move forward with their game by sharing your incredibly smart ideas!
July 2022

League of Legends

How Melee players describe Ultimate

twitchquotes: Smash community: ultimate is fun! Melee players (not part of smash community) : First time I got ultimate and tried it, after having played Fox-only on Final Destination for years in Melee, I was so disappointed. I couldn't Doowop a Skippity Uppity Airslap into a Wavedashed Cockdump Sparklenut. You aren't even allowed to Spitshine a ledge canceled Dickknob after twirlywhirly dibbidybobbidyboo 2: Electric Boogaloo.
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing