[Copypasta] "Unsponsored Hero Academy 2™ Stream

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. “Boy,” he says, “we got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. “Wow!” says Hanks. “I don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his ‘Unsponsored’ Hero Academy 2™ Stream!”
twitch chat
March 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Leifman the Salt King can save the world

twitchquotes: A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Salt king, a moderator named Leifman. And although his moderating skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to save any chat. But I believe Leifman can save the world.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Can you stack these cans

twitchquotes: DrinkPurple hey matey can you stack this can jus likeme :) DrinkPurple try like me! try like me! heres another can. : ) DrinkPurple try like me to stack this cans can you can you ?? :) DrinkPurple stack 4 or 5 whether you ask me or not. EZ for ME
twitch chat
March 2019

Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, This is Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter in the galaxy. I command you to stop being a p*ssy and eat meat, instead of eating all of my relatives. If you don't, I will be super angry at you. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

It's EXAM WEEK

twitchquotes: It's EXAM WEEK 😤😤 and it's TIME ⏱⏱ to WHIP OUT 😯😯 your EDUCATION ERECTIONS 🎒📚🍆🍆 and FUCK THESE FINALS 🤣🤣😉😉. That's RIGHT, get READY to BOOTYCALL 🍑📞 your SLUTTY STUDY BUDDIES 😏😏 and HIT 👊👊 the BOOKS 📘📗📙till your BRAIN 🧠🧠 is RUBBED RAW 😫😫 and your PEN 🖊🖊is DRY 😵😵. So let's put the CUM in CUMULATIVE 💦💦 and do this THING 🙌🙌. Send this to 11 of the SKANKIEST 🤤🤤 SCHOLARS you know or you will LITERALLY get F'D! 😱😱
twitch chat
December 2019

Emoji Pasta

War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing